


I Feel Like We're Meant To Be

by Kennykenlove



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Alternate Reality, Bamon, Bonnie and Damon could be together but they playin, Boredom is real, Cure, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gaslighting, Human, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Love Confessions, Magic, My First AO3 Post, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:47:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 67,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26422864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kennykenlove/pseuds/Kennykenlove
Summary: Where Bonnie Bennett is in love with her best friend and trying desperately not to because why would he choose her when he's already got his girl?OrI really wanted to post a Bamon Fic, so I'm doing just that.
Relationships: Bonnie Bennett/Damon Salvatore, Bonnie Bennett/Lorenzo "Enzo" St. John, Caroline Forbes/Stefan Salvatore, Elena Gilbert/Damon Salvatore
Comments: 244
Kudos: 243





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My description was horrendous, but me and summaries do not mix. Haven't posted anything on this site before and I wanted to give it a go, so here is me doing that. Hope you like it. This originally started off as a one shot, but turned into something much more. Hope you like it and what's to come.  
> K.

Bonnie shut her front door with more force than necessary, having her wince before closing her eyes and forced herself to breathe deeply, trying to push out her wracked feelings. To remove the jitteriness, the nervousness, the anger, the guilt, the jealousy. She tried her hardest just to calm herself before reopening her eyes and then allowing a set frown to settle on her face as her gaze lowered to the wooden floorboards with the now common feeling of disappointment swimming throughout her entire being. 

She tried to stop it. To just push pass the emotions within her that were beginning to stir; but somehow trying to ignore them backfired, and instead heightened like a flame being ignited. She hated it. She wished things could be different. Wished it had been someone else – anyone else, but life did usually have a way of fucking Bonnie over. To never allow her to keep a semblance of peace where she didn’t feel as if her core had been shifted. Where this would have usually been due to the line of enemies that always seem to choose Mystic Falls as their playground and Bonnie most often than not – who is she kidding? – Always being the witch with the tricks. The supernatural fix to every problem despite her often being the one being burnt the most; she could never truly relax because something dangerous would show up, or she’d die; all in which impacts her emotional stability significantly. 

But at the moment there was no immediate danger. No, the issue she had was purely emotional in the most classical way that she had once preferred a million times over than the supernatural crap she had to deal with. And why was she in this state? A guy. Not just any guy, but it had to be Damon-freakin’-Salvatore. 

Huffing, Bonnie turned on her heels and made her way upstairs. Entering her room, she tossed her keys on her dresser and began to strip herself from her clothing before she soon found herself being battered by warm water as she stood in the shower with her hair tied up to prevent it from getting wet. Allowing the water to fall onto her face for a moment, she then began to reach for her honey scented shower gel and began washing her body. Rubbing the soap across her skin, leaving trials of bubbles behind, she found that the only time her mind wasn’t littered with thoughts of the man – of her best friend, was when she was in the shower, where the sound of the water falling acted as earmuffs for her thoughts. It helped to shut her brain down for the time being, while the variety of scented soaps to choose from all calmed her nerves as she breathed them in. But this blissfulness where her thoughts were cleared and the warmth from the water relaxed her muscles couldn’t last forever. So, when she had stepped out, dried, moisturised and dressed in black tank top and green checker pyjama shorts, her sombre mood soon returned. 

Heading down stairs, she retrieved two beers from the kitchen, entered the living room and slumping down into the cushioned sofa submerged in darkness. Flicking her wrist, the five candles she had scattered around the room were lit, giving off an orange glow, while the kitchen light she had left on spilled into the corridor behind her. Sighing, she rested one of the beer bottles on the couch beside her and then opened the other with her teeth before taking a swing. 

How pathetic, she thought bitterly. 

Thinking over her actions, Bonnie came to realise that she had practically fled the Boarding House like a dog with its tail between its legs, as she was unwilling to remain there as her emotions continue to stir when sat in the same room with him. With them. 

Today had been a movie night of some sort that Caroline organised to get everyone together, as if they didn’t already see enough of each other in general. She wanted to do something fun, or relaxed, or whatever. Either way, the Scooby gang were hanging out. Stefan and Caroline, Jeremy and (wait for it) Ana (her name being a happy coincidence), Matt and his girlfriend Natalie, Alaric and his new girlfriend Denise, Elena and Damon. 

And then – Bonnie. 

Everyone had been paired off with their significant others who were all cuddled up together as they watched a movie Bonnie didn’t know the name of, though didn’t oppose to it either when the group was settled on it after eating a take-out of pizza and Chinese. Everyone already sat comfortably in the dark with their eyes staring up at the projector, Bonnie positioned herself behind the group, sat on a large pillow as she munched away at the cheese puffs situated in a bowl placed on her lap. But now thinking about it, maybe sitting at the back wasn’t the best idea. In that spot, it meant that she was able to see everyone. See the whispers they’d share during the film, the small touches exchanged between the couples and of course the kisses. 

Bonnie had to force herself to ignore it. 

To ignore them. 

Damon and Elena had always been one for PDA. The flirtatious touches. The longing glances. The knowing smiles. The extended kisses. Bonnie saw it all and each time it pinched her heart harder with the threat of ripping a piece away. 

She hated it. Hated that she wished it was her instead of Elena. She wanted to, for once, be someone’s first choice in a way that made her feel whole. And yes, she could say that Jeremy tried, but he cheated on her with the ghost of his ex. That certainly built on some of her insecurities. And then there was Enzo who had a weird thing for Damon and Stefan’s mum. But even when they had been together during those three years and he had made her feel special, she’d feel guilt every now and then because she soon realised that she only gravitated towards him because he reminded her of Damon at time and she desperately wanted to hang on to that; especially when she had thought she’d never see her best friend again. However, her and Enzo didn’t last. She didn’t feel the same and she wasn’t one to drag people along. She didn’t believe in that. Couldn’t do it, so she ended thing. 

That had been five months ago and Bonnie has just been doing her since. She got back into dancing, continued to build and expand her online natural herbal remedies business, gone on a few dates, had a few one-night stands, intervene on supernatural disturbances and of course, being with Damon. Hanging out, talking, drinking, cooking, playing stupid board games, having their playful bickering banter and just being them…for the most part. 

But, as much as she was happy about Elena’s return, as expected, Bonnie’s and Damon’s friendship took a back seat. Yes, they were still close, but it seemed like they could only be as close whenever Elena wasn’t around. When she was, Damon would just be pulled to her like a bee to its nectar, however it was understandable. They were together. What else could I expect? 

Bonnie’s head bowed when she saw Elena’s fingers sliding under Damon’s shirt, caressing his bare skin and seeing the way his eyes took in his girlfriend with a sly smile before their lips met briefly. It was becoming harder and harder to not be affected by it and she hated that she was feeling this way. She knew she should be happy for them, and she guess she was deep down. She knew how much Damon loved Elena. How he breathed Elena. How he was so devoted to her. She was the girl of his dreams and he was finally getting what he wanted. 

And then there was Elena, her childhood best friend who had a guy who loved her unconditionally and gave her life passion and excitement. She was happy. They both were. But that didn’t mean their relationship wasn’t in some form toxic. They relied on each other too much. Dismissed each other’s faults instead of working them out together. Their love for each other was consuming and Bonnie wasn’t sure if it was a good thing. Bonnie soon shook her head, knowing she was just trying to find faults with their relationship instead of just being glad that her two close friends had each other. 

When the film had ended, Bonnie began to quickly say her goodbyes, no longer feeling up to staying any longer as they all had originally intended. 

“Nooo, Bonnie. It’s still early. Stay,” Caroline had pleaded with a pout. 

She was right, it was still relatively early, only just passing 10pm, but still Bonnie simply smiled, shook her head and said that she was feeling tired anyway and just wanted some rest. Elena had then intervened, saying “Why don’t you stay in your room upstairs like you usually do? You don’t need to go home, Bon.” 

Again, Bonnie just smiled and said she missed her own bed, making a joke out of actually making use of her house than leaving it abandoned all the time. But the reality was, Bonnie’s room was besides Damon’s. Now she was feeling more unstable and easily affected by him, sleeping a room beside his where he and his girlfriend were very much vocal people in the bedroom made her feel uneasy to the point of often having to cast a spell to block out the noise so: 1) she would no longer have to hear them and: 2) to try to muffle and the erratic beat of her heart seeming that Damon would easily pick up on it with his vampire hearing. One that had yet to be removed due to prolonging taking the cure from Elena’s blood for reasons Bonnie is sure she knows, but Damon just does not want to admit. 

When convincing the girls that she just wanted to sleep in her own bed, she made her way out, though not before catching Damon’s piecing stare who had just been previously frowning, but had quickly tried to mask it with a smirk as he lifted his glass at her to say his goodbyes. Bonnie smiled back like she usually would and then made her exit, entering her car and driving off into the night, away from the Boarding house with her heart feeling heavy. 

Damon could never want me. He could never look at me the way he looks at Elena. The thought hurt every time it crossed her mind. Even now as she sat in a candle lit room and had already completed her second beer before laying in the sofa, curled up in a ball. 

Bonnie’s mind began to wonder if it would be best to just leave Mystic Falls for a while. To travel like she had wanted, whilst also creating some distance between her and the vampire. She thought – hoped - that in doing that would help. She would no long have to feel his hand at the small of her back when he’d lead her in a direction or the touch of his skin when he’d brush her hair away from her face. She wouldn’t have to calm her heart whenever he pulled her into his embrace for a hug or just a dance. Neither would she have to curse herself for her face flushing whenever he cast a genuine smile or laugh her way, which happened a lot; nor would she have to stop herself from getting lost in his hypnotising pale blue eyes that just seem to get her in every way. 

No, she wouldn’t have to deal with any of it if she just had space away from him. She figured it was something she needed, because she knew she was pretty damn close to spilling her guts to him if they ever shared another drunken night together in the upcoming days, and that, she thought, would certainly impact their friendship – probably put a strain on it, and she certainly didn’t want that. She didn’t want to lose what they had, so Bonnie assumed she had to fix her side of things before they got anymore in the way than it already has. 

With that, Bonnie sat up in the seat with a sudden sense of determination flooding her. She was going to travel. And she would force herself to get over Damon Salvatore. A faint smile crossing her lips, Bonnie stood, extinguished out the candles, jogged up the stairs, entered her room and grabbed her laptop. 

. 

. 

. 

6 months. 

Six fucking months without his favourite witch. Without his best friend nearby and Damon despised it with all of his being. It brought back a similar feeling to when to two had been separated where Damon had returned to the real world and Bonnie was still stuck in 1994. It made him remember when he had decided to desiccate; how even when he was sure it was for the right reasons, to keep everyone he cared about safe from the destruction that followed him and the danger his loved ones would go to save him, he had missed her more than he could comprehend, even more so when she had turned up, angry and teary eyed after feeling betrayed that he would just leave her without saying goodbye. But Damon knew that if he had told her what he had planned, she would talk him out of it. The witch had a knack for making him rethink everything he knew. So, where he had been so confident in his decisions, seeing her broken up because of him weighed heavy on his heart. And as he desiccated, he hoped she’d eventually forgive him and live out the life that she dreamed of, but that didn’t stop him from feeling as he deserved the pain he’d caused his best friend as he slowly starved. 

He had been gone for three years, with the majority being him in a slumber like state, yet when truly conscious, Damon had struggled with the mere 6 months of not seeing her in person by her just travelling. Of not being able to smell her scent and the perfume she likes so much. Of not being able to simply feel her punching or nudging his shoulder as her way of affection or even getting an aneurysm when he’d piss her off. He missed it all, especially the feel of her form wrapped on up in his arms as she was now. Legs enclosed around his waist with her arms encircling his neck, Damon held her tight in his hold and breathed her in. 

Chuckling into her neck, Damon would say he was surprised by the surge of relief and happiness to have her back, but he was well aware that Bonnie was a fixture in his life that he would hold on for as long as he could. She filled the sudden loneliness he’d been feeling for months since she told everyone she wanted to travel. Damon was quick to offer her company like he had before going on a few road trips and before Elena woke up when they had travelled Europe together with Ric, but she hadn’t wanted that, making Damon not know what to make of it. But when she had explained that it was just something she wanted to do on her own, he figured he owed her that. 

Bonnie should experience the world how she wants to. And if she wants me there, then I’ll be there. 

Resting her feet to the ground, he took in her appearance. Where her shoulder length wavy hair been dark brown all around, she had now dip dyed it with a lighter colour brown and it also looked a little longer. Honey brown skin glowing, looking refreshed, she smiled brightly at him as her pretty green eyes appeared as if a weight she’d been carrying had been lifted and now she was just filled with this lightness about her that had Damon beam back at her with equal measure. 

“I was starting to think you weren’t coming back,” he started, lifting his hand to twirl a piece of her hair between his fingers. “Someone was clearly having too much fun without me.” 

“Missed you too,” she smiled affectionately. 

“Of course. That’s a given,” he smirked, but he knew she’d read between the lines and that was his way of saying it back. Dropping his hand, he said “Wait, when did you even get back?” 

“Yesterday morning.” 

“And you’re only coming by now? Bon-Bon, I take offence to that. I could have dropped by. I could have made you a welcome back vamp pancake breakfast this morning. I’ve been seeing if I could tweak the ingredients and I’m pretty sure I’ve got them down to a perfection. You’ll love them like Rachel loves Frank.” 

Bonnie’s brows raised at The Bodyguard reference and replied, “That much, huh?” 

“That much,” he asserted. 

“Well now that the reunions over, Bonnie, I need information, stat!” Caroline urged with a squeal as she reached for Bonnie’s hand and pulling her further into the main living space, followed by Elena. All taking a seat on the sofa with Bonnie in the middle, Caroline began to bombard her with question as excitement and curiosity got the better of the blonde. Finding himself lingering with his eyes only focused on his best friend, Damon was pretty sure his dead heart was swelling with this new found comfort knowing that she would be back by his side. 

He had just been coming back from a drive to clear his head when his hearing picked up on her familiar laugh. After quickly coming out the car, he used his vamp speed to enter the house, finding Bonnie casually speaking with a giddiness in her tone. As if sensing him, she looked up and she had jumped into his arms. Damon had wondered once or twice or a couple hundred times if she had even missed him the way he missed her. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t spoken, they had, but just not as much as he would have liked. He had felt that she was ignoring him. That he had done something wrong he wasn’t aware of which would be the reason behind the minimal contact, so he restrained himself from blowing up her phone like he usually would when bored or just looking for conversation. But from their hug, any uncertainty he had flew away. 

“They were all great. I had a great time, but I’d have to say when I was in Rio, that was the most fun I’ve had in a while,” she told. “It was the carnival period too, so that just made the experience ten times better. The people, the food, the culture…Ahh-mazing.” 

“And the guys?” Elena wondered with a knowing look. 

Bonnie smiled in response, but it was one Damon knew she put on when shy about something, followed by a slight blush, having both Elena and Caroline eyes meet for a moment before pounding her with questions like “Who is he?” “What happened?” “Was he good?” “Bonnie Bennett, did you have a threesome?” 

The girls laughed, but Damon couldn’t help the slight frown that had his lips fall. Figuring he’s been standing around enough, he’d let the girls have their time together to catch up. Exiting the room, he briefly caught Bonnie’s eye and she smiled softly at him. Returning the gesture, he made a chatter box notion with is hand to indicate their girl talk, rolled his eyes playfully and left the room after sending her one of his signature smirks. When out of view, his features fell slightly to one more content just knowing she was back before he made his way to his room. Falling back onto his bed, he reached for the remote, flicking it onto a random channel. Eyes closing, he soon found himself drifting off with the sound of Bonnie’s voice being picked up by his hearing. 

\-- 

Feeling the bed dip, he stirred slightly before murmuring incoherent things under his breath. 

“And you say I talk in my sleep,” her voice rang with humour before the sounds of the program playing on his TV suddenly stopped. 

With a smile creeping on his face, Damon turned his head the other way and pried his eyes open as he remained laying down. Gaze lifting, he took note of Bonnie sitting crossed legged on his bed as she glanced down at him. 

“Sometimes I forget you’re actually an old man who needs his naps every so often.” 

“Gotta catch up on my beauty sleep somehow. It’s not easy being an eternal stud,” he chuckled. 

“Poor you,” she snorted. 

“I know,” he agreed. “And FYI, I’m not old. I'm like fine wine.” 

“Sensitive much?” she teased. 

“Very,” he humoured her and then asked, “Where’s Blondie and sleeping beauty?” 

“Gone out. They wanted me to come, but I wanted to catch up with you first.” 

Rolling over on his back, he shifted himself up so that he was soon leaning against the headboard. Eyes taking her in, Bonnie smiled and asked, “What?” 

“You look…different. Happy. I guess you really needed that trip, huh?” 

“I guess I did. I’m glad I went. Needed to a break, I guess. Clear my head.” 

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Uh-oh, that doesn’t sound good,” she half smiled with a raised brow at his steady, yet cautious tone. 

“Relax, Bon-Bon, it isn’t life or death, I just want to know something.” 

Head tilting to the side for a moment, she took in his calm expression as her eyes darted around his face as if coming up with his possible line of questioning. When curiosity finally got the best of her, she replied, “Alright, shoot.” 

Taking in a short breath, Damon asked, “Why’d you leave?” When said, her relaxed content state fell for a moment, having her body tense slightly. Her reaction only had his interest peek more, wanting to uncover the sudden need for his best friend to need 6 months of space. “I know you said before that you just wanted to travel, but you also said that you needed to clear your head and I’m just wandering what you needed to clear. I’m not gonna lie Bon, the months before you left you seemed jittery and I don’t know why. Most of the time you were fine. You had a few things going on and you seemed alright, so I’m just wandering what made you leave. Because I know you didn’t tell me about anything that was bothering you. You didn’t tell anyone,” he dissected. “So, tell me now. What was it?” 

“There has to be a deep reason for me going a vacation?” 

“Yes,” he didn’t miss a beat when he answered. 

“Why does there need to be a reason?” 

“There doesn’t, but in this case, there was. So, c’mon Bennett, tell me your deep dark secret. I promise I won’t tell anyone. I’ll just be all melodramatic like Stefan and write in a journal.” 

Usually a comment like that would make her giggle or at least crack a smile, but she did neither. Instead she looked uneasy and nervous. The pace of her heart had picked up from its previous steady beat and that knowledge had Damon sit forward. 

“C’mon, tell me. It can’t be that bad.” 

Chewing on her bottom lip, her gaze was suddenly fixed on her fingers as if they were the most interesting things in the world. Granted, Bonnie did have nice hands, but that was beside the point. 

“Bonni-“ 

“I had a thing for you,” she suddenly confessed, cutting of Damon’s speech and instead have his eyes widen momentarily as her words sunk in. 

Normally when finding something like this out, Damon would milk it for all it’s worth by being smug and saying something like ‘of course you would’, but he couldn’t do it this time because he was hearing this from Bonnie, his enemy, turned frenemy, turned best friend. She was already showing signs of being uncomfortable with the confession by her avoiding eye contact at all cost, when in any other given situation her stare would be more challenging and unwavering. 

“You had a thing for me?” he found himself repeating. 

“Yes, Damon, a thing. You know what I mean,” she told while making an expression that read ‘do I really need to spell it out?’ when rolling her eyes. 

“How long?” 

“Months.” 

“Months?” 

“Are you just going to repeat everything I say?” she huffed and then made eye contact with him for the first time since confessing. “Yes, Damon. Months. It’s been – a while. I didn’t like how I was feeling, so I figured I needed some space because clearly my feelings weren’t going away when I’m with you every day of the week. I needed to collect my thoughts,” she spoke honestly, before ducking her head once more and finishing with, “I needed to get over you before I did something stupid and ruined our friendship.” 

“Like?” 

“I don’t know. Make a move? Confess in the heat of the moment when I wasn’t ready, most likely when drunk and emotionally unstable. I didn’t want it to be awkward for you or me and look like an idiot.” 

“So, leaving was better than just talking to me about it?” 

Lifting her green eyes to him her brows frowned, “What good would that have done? What would have you had said? Because I’m damn sure you weren’t about to confess some hidden feelings for me. Damon, I wanted to avoid you looking at me with pity, like you are now.” 

“I’m not.” he disagreed. 

“Yes, you are. And if you looked at me like that back then, I would have felt ten times worse, which is why I needed to get away and clear my head of you. To stop being jealous of Elena and you together instead of being happy because I know how much you two love each other. But I guess I just couldn’t handle it being in my face all the damn time, so I left.” 

“When did you start having these feelings?” 

She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly and replied, “Your guess is as good as mine.” 

Hearing these words coming from Bonnie, he would like to say that he’s 100% surprised, but at the back of his mind he guessed he’d somehow already had his own suspicions. He wasn’t being big headed about it, but he knew Bonnie and he was usually quite good at reading her. He’d pick up on how the beat of her heart would jump whenever he’d touch her in an affectionate way, whether by brushing her hair to the side and having his fingers skim her cheek or when they would slow dance and he’d bring her body close to his while he entwined their fingers. He would also take notice of how whenever she looked at him, after a period of time her usual annoyed, yet still friendly gaze was slowly turning into a look of longing and want before she’d figure something out in her mind and then those green eyes suddenly looked guilty and then masked into something more neutral. He’d picked up on it all, but never had he thought much of it because this was – Bonnie. 

Damon has had many women lust after him, but they never actually knew the real him. Never knew his darkest secrets. Not even Elena knew all there was to Damon Salvatore like Bonnie or Stefan did, yet even after knowing this, she not only became his best friend, but she also conjured feelings, for him. Damon suddenly felt extremely privileged to have earned her affections without him being nothing but himself. Yet at the same time, he didn’t feel worthy of them. Bonnie deserved the world, and Damon couldn’t give it to her. 1) Because Bonnie needed someone much better than Damon as a romantic partner and 2) he was with Elena, the love of his life. 

“Look, I can practically see the wheels spinning in your head, so just listen, alright?” Damon nodded in response, watching as Bonnie gathered her words. “I was going to tell you no matter what. The timing, however, just wasn’t right. I needed to think things through first before I threw myself into the deep end. I hated feeling the way I felt; how bitter I found myself becoming and I didn’t like it, so the best thing I could come up with was having some time apart from you. When I did that, then I’d fill you in on why I left. To be honest I was planning on having this conversation a little later on. Maybe in a few weeks or so, but I guess nothing better than the present, right?” she smiled shyly. 

“I don’t want things to be weird between us. I just want things to get back to how they were, ya’know. Get back to just being us,” she continued after a small stretch of silence spread between them. “So please don’t make it weird or so help me god I will erase this conversation from your memory, and trust me, I know the spell,” she warned, though there was still playfulness in her tone. 

“Geeze, Bon, no need to go that far. I’d prefer my memory intact, thank you very much. Keep your witchy-woo stuff out of here,” he grinned whilst tapping the side of his head. “So-,” he started after lowering his hand, “Do you still feel the same now?” 

He didn’t know why, but awaiting her response made him anxious. He wasn’t sure if he wanted her to say yes or no. Damon wasn’t use to someone like Bonnie to hold interest in him, and the thought warmed his heart, but if she still did have strong feelings for him, Damon would feel somewhat guilty, feeling as if he was hurting her whenever he’d be in contact with Elena. The thought only had him remembering every time him and Elena had been affectionate in front of Bonnie in the past. Whenever they’d kiss, he remembered Bonnie looking away. He had thought it was the way of faking disgust or giving them privacy, but now he was wondering if she had been hurting to see that. Looking away to spare her own feelings. Damon felt guilt and regret swell in his chest for being so insensitive even if he wasn’t aware of her feeling for him at the time. 

“Working on it,” she admitted. “I feel more in control than I had before. They’re there still, just not as strong. So, relax. I’m not planning on jumping you.” 

Damon chuckled at that then said, “Am I that easy to get over? Bon, I’m hurt,” while putting his hand to his chest. 

“I’m so sorry,” she spoke sarcastically as she rolled her eyes, but then her face got a little serious after a moment. “It’s something that needs to happen. I’m forcing it to happen and its working. Granted it’s not as quick as having my memories erased,” sending a small dig at Elena and Damon nod his head. “But they’re fading. I need them to so I can be a better friend to the both of you. You two make each other happy. I’m glad for that. I really am. I just hope one day I can find my happy with someone else. Someone who isn’t taken or my best friend. Ya’know, just to prevent any messiness,” she told genuinely. 

“And you will Bon. Trust me, I’m not good enough for you,” he spoke sincerely, having her eyes soften, though he could see her objection. “But your person is out there. Whether in Mystic Falls, Rio or anywhere else, I’m telling you, when you find him, he’ll be worth the wait,” he smiled, reaching forward to grab her hand in his as he rubbed her brown skin with his thumb. “But until then, you have to go through a lot of asses before you find him and until that happens, I’ll your wing man and scare the shit outta anyone who hurts you.” 

“Very chivalrous,” 

“I try,” he smirked. 

“Alright,” she began whilst disconnected their hands before getting off the bed. “I think it’s time I try this new ingredient of yours. I swear Salvatore, these better be the best damn pancakes I’ve ever tasted or I’ll be seriously disappointed in your culinary skills.” she finished with her hands on her hips. 

Sending her a wide grin he got off the bed, “Oh, they will be.” Walking over to her, he picked her up bridal style, having her make a surprised sound. Smirking down at her, he used his vampire speed to exit his room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the story with basically no plot continues, but with more dialogue from here on out.  
> Enjoy.  
> K.

"Can you imagine how awkward it's going to be when Jon has the talk with Dani?" Bonnie started as she slightly raised her shoulders and said, "I love you. And I'll always will, but there's something you need to know. We're related and the Iron Throne belongs to me," in a gruff, accented voice to imitate the character. Behind her, she could hear Damon chuckling and though she couldn't see him, she could tell he was also shaking his head. 

"Knowing him, he'll just let her have it. Jon doesn't really care about status. He'd just prefer to know that the people he cares about are safe...and then continue to fuck his aunt." 

"Wow, I thought you were actually saying something thoughtful, but then you ended it like that." 

"What? It's true," she heard the smile in his tone, having her slap his knees that rested on either side of her. Sitting on the floor between his legs, Damon angled her head down so he could complete the final braid with a, "There." Grabbing her phone, she put it on camera and tilted her head where she could see his work. Five neat cornrows ran down her left side and Bonnie smiled. 

"Damn," she applauds, having her see Damon smile from behind on her camera screen. Bonnie made a point to take a quick picture, capturing the moment. Damon rolled his eyes and leaned forward so that his head was hovering over hers and made a face. Bonnie took another picture. "So," she started, "I guess I'll admit you did a good job. I like it." 

"I'd be offended if you didn't." 

"I'm sure you would be." 

"On behalf of Sherry, yes. That woman was a saint." 

"Can't believe you stayed in a hair salon for months," she laughed. 

"Why? They're fun. There's just something special about black salons. Get all the juicy gossip too. And back in the day, there was a lot. It was just a bonus that the women there were hot." 

"I can imagine you being the only white guy in a black salon was odd, even more back then." 

"A little, but more in their case. But that didn't matter because they knew I was on their side so they let me hang around. Plus, I'm a charm to be around if you haven't noticed. Who wouldn't want to see this sex on a stick washing hair and sweeping?" 

Bonnie raised her hand immediately at his last statement, having him playfully slap it down, causing her laugh before he continued to fluff out the rest of her springy hair. It was that moment Elena walked through the door, grabbing their attention as she began to step down the landing leading to the opened pace within the Salvatore home. 

Taking in the position Bonnie and Damon were in with a non-expressive look, Elena made a quick b-line towards them and placed her lips on Damon's in greeting. Bonnie stood, noticing the way Elena held Damon's face tight from the quick glance she took and then looked away when she moaned in his mouth, their kiss deepening. Bonnie thought the act was eye roll worthy as she quickly left the room, leaving them to it. 

She didn't know what had gotten into Elena recently. For weeks, things between them had been somewhat strained, generally whenever Damon was brought up in conversation or if Bonnie and Damon were in close proximity. But why, Bonnie had no idea. Nothing was going to happen between them. Bonnie made sure of that when she left to gather six months' worth of space to fix her feelings that were becoming a problem. And though the feelings were still there, much to her dismay, she wasn't as hurt by them. Instead she made it her new normal. Something that was there, though hardly paid attention to. She made it so. Forced it so - for her sake. So, Elena suddenly having this territorial streak made no sense, seeming Bonnie made it her damn near hardest to keep her feelings a secret both before she left and when she returned. The only person who knew and needed to know was Damon and he had handled it...well enough. 

At first, he was very cautious around her. Watching everything he said and monitoring his every movement. To be sure not to leave lingering touches like he used to or smile at her like he used to or dance like they used to or even playfully lean into her like he had. His very being was suddenly being controlled and she hated it. Hated that he felt he has to change who he was for her benefit. She didn't want that. Not for him or for herself. But she allowed him to carrying on, figuring he's come around eventually and bounce back to who he was. To who they were when together. She'd give him the opportunity to figure things out in the way he wanted, because finding out your best friend left because she was in love with you and high key jealous would be weird for anyone. 

But now, two and a half months later, things were finally falling back into place, disregarding the way he would occasionally stare at her longer than necessary. They laughed, they spoke about everything and nothing, they dealt with the minor baddie that walked into town and kept things moving. 

Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and a handful of grapes, she sat around the table and ate. Phone vibrating, it showed an unknown number. Frowning in confusion, she answered. "Hello?" 

"Hi," 

"What do you want?" She couldn't help but to roll her eyes playfully. 

"If I said 'you', would you believe me?" 

"Cut the shit, Enzo," she huffed, having him chuckle on the other line. 

"Now, is there a reason you're calling?" 

"What can I say, I missed your voice," he replied and she could practically hear the smile in his tone. "You left me and I feel wounded." 

"Aw, sorry," she answered, sounding anything but. He laughed again, and she couldn't help but smile too. 

She and Enzo were done. They had ended things on a relative civil note. She hadn't wanted to be with someone and knowing in her heart she loves another. It wouldn't have been fair for him. And Enzo, though tried to talk her out of breaking things off, understood. At first, he had limited contact with her, but soon they began to speak here and there, catching up, especially since she's been back. Unfortunately, the week prior things got out of hand. He had asked to meet up for drinks and a meal when he was in town. She agreed. But one thing turned into the next. He started to trace pattern on her hands and then he kissed her neck and before either of them knew what was happening, they were spending the night together. 

During breaks between hooking up, he had whispered in her ear that he missed her and still had feelings for her. His voice held so much weight that she could do nothing but kiss him to shut him up. "Please stop talking," she had spoken when she pulled away. He simply looked her in the eye, nodded and reclaimed her lips. 

They had a moment of weakness. It also didn't help that, that very day Bonnie walked in on Damon and Elena fucking in the living room. Whether Elena had forgotten she had invited Bonnie over to hangout, it didn't matter because Bonnie quickly turned around before she saw anything else or could get a shocked response from either of them. Her heart had been racing. Her chest felt constricted. She had a flash of hurt. She had a flash of anger and before anything else could come from it, she took a deep breath, exhaled and buried her emotions deep within herself. When Damon tried to bring it up when she saw him next, she waved it off and changed the conversation quickly, ignoring the somewhat worried look on his face as if she was about to crumble. It now made sense why she had so easily slept with Enzo the previous week. She needed a release and he was more than willing to provide it. It also made her feel like a dick for using him like that. 

"So, are we going to talk about why you left me alone?" he wondered. 

"Are we going to talk about why you have a private number?" She countered. 

"Well, if you had answered my previous calls..." 

"Sorry," she apologised, this time meaning it. "I... I just-" 

‘"Its fine, Bonnie. I don't blame you. I came off strong." 

"I just don't want you to get the wrong idea. It won't happen again. I promise." 

"Don't need to be so rash, love. We can make arrangements if you like," he joked and she laughed lightly. "I had fun...with you." 

She smiled softly and replied, "Me too." 

"Good to know. I just hope you don't regret it. Regret me," he confessed with vulnerability lacing his speech. 

She bit her lip, her fingers scratching the plastic of her bottle before answering, "I don't." 

It seemed to be enough for him, because she could hear the breath he released. Clearing his throat, he went on with, "I'm heading back to New York. I just wanted to call to say bye." 

"But you just got back," she frowned. 

"I know, but I'm needed," he told and she could hear in his voice that he would rather stay. That he would stay if she asked. Bonnie bit her lip and sighed. 

"Alright. Be safe, will you? Whatever it is you have going on, just don't die." 

He chuckled. "I'll try not to, love." There was a pause before he went on with, "If you're ever up for a visit, my doors are always open." 

"Thanks...for everything. You're a good man," her voice was sincere. 

"I hope he knows what he's missing, Bonnie. I just wish I was the one you wanted." Bonnie's lips parted, not knowing how to respond. "I'll see you around. Hopefully sooner rather than later." 

"Hopefully," she repeated. 

"Bye, love." 

"Bye." 

Bonnie hung up and took a breath. She wished she would just love Enzo. Being with him had been calm and relaxed. He was filled with romantic gestures she appreciated and he was patient with her during hard times. He had protected her. He believed in her in a way that was almost foreign. But he wasn't who she wanted and she hated it. Hated how she wouldn't get the same level of excitement with him like she did with just the mere thought of Damon. Her stomach didn't flip insanely like it did when with Damon. Her heart didn't race like it did with Damon because he wasn't Damon and it made her so fucking angry that she couldn't just be happy with what she finally had, but instead longed for something she couldn't. That wasn't hers in the way she wanted it - wanted him to be. 

Sighing sharply, a sudden irritation hit her like a wave. "Fuck," she whispered to herself. 

All she wanted was for things to be simple for once in her God damn life, but simple seem to be a dream. Nothing was ever simple. Not for a very long time. And now... She felt like she was kidding herself. Putting on the performance of her life to keep her heart together and was doing a relatively good job, but every now and then reality would hit and shatter this delusion of control she had conjured up. 

Feeling annoyed, Bonnie stood, no longer in the mood for company and instead just wanting her bed so she could sleep for 10 hours. Grabbing her water bottle, she made her way back to the living room, finding Elena straddling Damon with one arm hung over his shoulder while her fingers raked through his black locks. Heart picking up slightly, she gritted her teeth as she went to reach for her bag. 

"Hey, Bonnie, I know we were supposed to watch a movie tonight, but could we switch to another time? I wanted to spend this afternoon with Damon," Elena told and then directed at Damon to say, "Maybe we could go to that cute new Italian restaurant that opened up. I could wear that blue dress you like." 

"We could do that another night. Maybe you should spend some time with Bo-" 

"No, it's fine," Bonnie quickly interrupted. "You two go. Have fun," she added, looking at Elena whose eyes were focused on Damon; however, Damon was looking directly at her in a way she couldn't quite put together. 

Phone buzzing, she looked down, seeing a new message from Enzo's number. Opening It, it read, 'Don't know If I can ever tell you this again, but just know I love you.' 

Breath catching, her lips parted as her eyes roamed the words over and over again. She felt caught up in emotion. She didn't deserve his love, yet he was so freely offering it to her. 

She looked up at the sound of her name. Damon wore a concerned expression, his blue eyes piercing; freezing her with his gaze. She wondered if he may have overheard her conversation with Enzo. That he now knew she had slept with him and didn't mention it. That he heard what Enzo had said about him to her. She was feeling overwhelmed; conversing with a man that would take her if she asked and looking at another who could never love her the way she wanted. Not when he was wrapped up in the arms of the woman he fought for. Could have ruined his entire relationship with his brother for. No way would Damon give all that up - give Elena up for Bonnie and it was clear to her that she could never ask him to. She would rather suffer than even suggest the idea, not that she was even a choice to begin with. She huffed bitterly at the thought. 

So, swallowing the forming lump in her throat, she broke his stare and left in a haste, saying, "Bye." over her shoulder. 

"Bon," he called. "Bonnie, wait." 

With his vamp speed, he was standing before her in a moment, blocking her path to the door. She tried to walk around him, but he stayed firm, holding her by her upper arm, preventing her from moving. 

"Damon, move." 

"No, Bon. What's wrong?" 

"Nothing," she lied. "Now move before I move you." 

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's wrong. What was in Enzo's text?" he assumed, indicating to her that he had indeed been listening in on her conversation. Hands suddenly cradling her face, he looked at her with his startling blue eyes and said, "Tell me," as if he could compel her to answer. 

"Damon," Elena's voice rang from close behind having Bonnie tense. "Maybe you should let her go. She clearly needs some space." 

At that, Bonnie removed his hands from her, feeling unnerved by the way he was so focused on her until Elena called his name again, stealing his attention. Bonnie released a breath as if she could finally breathe properly when he wasn't holding her like that. When he didn't look at her the way he had. But as relieved as she was to have the connection broken, she also felt as if something in her began to crumble. 

At this point, Elena had positioned herself beside Damon, her fingers lacing with his as she looked upon Bonnie with big, brown doe eyes. Resting one hand on Bonnie’s arm, she said, "Whatever it is, Bonnie, we're here for you," making Bonnie feel even worse if that was possible. Because here was her childhood friend trying to comfort her about a secret she didn't know. That Bonnie was in love with her boyfriend and Bonnie couldn't control it no matter how hard she tried. That these feelings ruined a good thing for her because she found it hard to pretend these feelings weren't there. That pushing them under the rug would make things worse and would only make herself feel worse knowing she was stringing Enzo along, and he didn’t deserve that. No one did. And because of that, she found herself suffering; trying to bury emotions that were alarmingly impossible to put out. 

Bonnie managed a forced smile and stepped around them. Feeling Damon's fingers graze hers as she passed, she didn't acknowledge him, but instead left with her chest pounding and her mind out of focus. 

\- 

Bonnie stepped into her house after hours of communing with nature by the Falls. She was feeling more relaxed than she had been earlier and she was grateful for it. Connecting to nature was always something she found to be grounding. Steady. Stable. She wasn't as frustrated and pent up as she had once been. Instead a calm had replaced any negative feelings. She had even texted Elena an apology for rushing out like she had and then continued to sit and listen as the water fell and the sounds of the nightly forest picked up in chirps, owl howls and pretty dots of light from fireflies. It had been the exact medicine she required that allowed her to finally breathe. And now she could finally sleep. 

Locking her door, she kicked off her shoes and placed her bag on a nearby table. Going to the kitchen, she rummaged for some left-over food and ate while scrolling through Instagram. When she had finished, she put her plate in the sink and went upstairs. 

Turning on the light, she almost jumped out of her skin at the sight on Damon laying casually on her bed, his eyes facing the ceiling. "Holy shit," she touched her chest. 

"We might need to talk about your reflex and just the fact that I was in your house before you arrived and you didn't notice. What if it was someone else?" 

"Are you forgetting that my wards are up?" She rolled her eyes and stepped into her room. "No one can get pass who I haven't already granted access to. Vampire or not." 

"Hmm," was his only response, his eyes narrowing at the ceiling before he sat up and watched as she moved towards her drawers. Gathering a pair of shorts and an oversized shirt, she got some underwear and grabbed her towel. Without another word, she left her room and went to have a shower. 

It took her no more than 15 minutes to complete her nightly routine. Body clean and smelling faintly like cocoa butter from her lotion, she rinsed her mouth, leaving behind a mint aftertaste. Once done, she made her way back to her room where Damon had remained sitting on her bed, his back leaning against the headboard with her phone in hand. With her knee dipping into the mattress, she snatched her phone away, turned it off and shoved it under her pillow. Pulling back her duvet, she settled in until she was comfortable and laid on her side. 

"Are you waiting for something?" She quipped, glancing up at him. 

"Can't I just want to be here, sitting in silence with my bestie?" 

"You do you," was her response. 

Damon sighed and looked down at her. "So, you and Enzo..." 

"Leave it alone, Damon." 

"Why didn't you tell me?" 

"Was it really something that needed to be said? We met up. That's it. So what?" 

"You slept with him," he fired back. 

"And?" She shrugged. 

"Let’s not pretend it didn't mean more to him than it did to you. That's a sticky slope you don't want to go down, Bon." 

"Thanks for the warning, but who I fuck is none of your business," she snapped, having his eyes narrow at her. "He makes his own choices and so do I. If it continues then it continues, if it doesn't, then so be it. It most likely won't, but that's none of your concern." 

"I'm just trying to look out for you," he argued. 

"Thanks, but I'm fine," her tone was hard. "Now, I'm going to bed, so night." Flicking her wrist, the lights flicked off. Damon responded by turning on the lamp at the bedside table beside him. Bonnie groaned with irritation that had her sitting up to glare at him. "What's your problem?" 

"When did you sleep with him?" 

"Why does it matter?" 

"Because I want to know," he simply said, though there were a slight edge to his voice. "When?" 

"Last week." 

"Would you like to specify?" 

"Tuesday night, through 11:30 to 3 on and off in different places and different ways. Specific enough?" She sassed causing his jaw to clench as he took her in before it cleared in an instant as his eyes softened before he looked away from her. Her breathing had gotten heavier as her chest rose and fell, but taking a deep breath, she calmed herself. 

"We haven't spoken about it," he suddenly said after a silent moment. 

"About what?" 

"You walking in on me and Elena." 

She scoffed, yet couldn't help the way her plus slightly quickened. "I didn't see anything," she lied, vividly remembering how he had Elena up against the wall. Bonnie didn't see much after as she hastily left. "Elena and I were supposed to meet, but I guess she got distracted. It happens. It doesn't matter." 

"I didn't know you were coming over," he admitted, his tone low and soft. 

"Like I said, it doesn't matter." 

"But it does," he rejected her statement, sounding aspirated. "It matters because..." he stopped himself as he looked at her with an anxious expression. 

"Because what, Damon?" she urged, sitting straighter. 

"Bonnie," he began, his jaw tense. "You told me you loved me. It matters because how you feel matters to me. I don't want to hurt you." 

"So, what are you gonna do? Break up with your girlfriend? Never touch her in front of me? Or better yet, stop being friends with you all together so it isn't in my face every fucking day?" she challenged. "Damon, I'm fine. I'm handling it. You don't have to worry about me, alright. It might be a surprise, but my existence isn't based around you." 

Seeing his eyes widen, she knew she touched a sensitive spot for him. How the way he'd live while human and during his vamperism had an unhealthy attachment - dependency on another. She witnessed it with Katherine and then watched it develop with Elena. Damon didn't know much about how to function on his own without needing a muse. And Bonnie wasn't exempt from this either, as she had taken upon the martyr role when discovering her powers and not thinking about herself. But she grew out of it and Damon, in his own way, was doing it too. 

"Look-" she sighed. "-it would be so much easier to just stop being around you. To leave. I did leave. But it wouldn't solve anything and I'd miss you too much. You're my friend, Damon. The closest person I have. I won't lose you because you're doing couple-y things with Elena. She's your girlfriend; It's a given. What I do want is for you to lighten up and relax. Like today. We were having fun, right?" she spoke with honesty. "I don't want this to be weird, so don't make it." 

"I think that speech would work a lot better if you weren't talking to a guy who knew how it felt to be in your position." 

"You didn't seem to have much of a problem gloating when it was Stefan." 

"I've changed," was his response, his gaze earnest. 

"Yeah, you have," she replied softly. 

Letting out a breath, she leaned against the headboard beside him as a quiet fell over them. Chewing on the inside of her cheek, her thoughts ran over the conversation they just had, thinking about the things they had said, what she could have said and what she didn't say. She was touched that he cared about her. She knew he did. He didn't need to tell her, but when they became serious like this, it was a side of Damon not many people saw. The side Elena and Stefan spoke of, and now she understood. Because when Damon cared about you, he cared deeply. 

"How was the new Italian place? Any good?" she broke the silence, attempting the lighten the mood. 

"Do you really think I would go anywhere while you were upset?" he asked rhetorically. "I wanted to go there with you first anyway." 

It was true. Once they saw the new restaurant being built, he had promised to take her so they could sample the menu. And if it was any good, he would consider taking Elena there for a date so he would know exactly what to get in order to romance her further. 

"I'm sure Elena wasn't thrilled about you cancelling." 

"A date wasn't planned in the first place. I was caught off guard," he defended. "Plus, she was meant to be hanging out with you." Waving his hand dismissively, he continued with, "Its fine, we'll go out another night. And she understands. The mood wasn't there and she's worried about you." 

"Sorry to kill the mood," she pouted. 

"You always kill the mood. Nothing new," he chuckled, having her slap his arm. "How was the Falls? Did you catch Stefan draining Bambi?" The comment had her huff out a laugh, but she knew it was all I'm good spirits. She also wasn't surprised he knew exactly where she was. 

"Fine," she told. "Gave me time to relax." 

"He shouldn't have said that to you," he suddenly said, his face serious. 

Bonnie slapped his arm again and said, "And you shouldn't go through people's phones." 

"What? You do it to me." 

"I don't read your texts. And if I did, it's because you showed me." 

He rolled his eyes and said, "Well, I normally wouldn't, but I was worried and curious and now I know why. He shouldn't have said that." 

Bonnie bit her lip in contemplation and sighed. "I just don't want him to get the wrong idea and I told him that." Running her hand over her face, she went on to say, "And you have a point. Sleeping with him would mean more to him. It did mean more. I... I just got caught up. I mean, he was there and it's been a while and he's familiar. And now I feel like an asshole for using him like that." 

"We all have times like that, Bon-Bon. Don't think bad of yourself. Shit happens and he knows that." 

"Right," her agreement was lost to her ears. "I'm going to go to bed." 

"Do you want me to stay? I can," he offered, already slouching in her bed to make himself comfortable like he had many times in the past. 

"Um, no," she stopped him. "I think you should go home. Elena will be waiting." 

Damon looked her for a while saying nothing. His pretty blue eyes just taking her in before he nodded his head. Sitting up properly, he leaned forward and kissed her forehead tenderly. Her heart picked up at the act as her eyes closed for the briefest moment before opening as he pulled away. "Night," he said and then stood to his feet. 

Switching off her lamp, he walked across her room and out the door. Hearing his footsteps descending the stairs, her door opened and the closed with the faint sound of his spare keys locking it.


	3. Chapter 3

“Caroline?” A female called as she walked towards the table, causing the blonde to look her way. Smiling, she stood from her chair and gave the woman a quick hug. “Wow, you look amazing. Exactly like how I remembered you,” she admired when parting

Caroline beam, waving her hand as she said, “I have a very strict beauty regiment,” easily. 

“Well, whatever it is, sign me up,” she laughed and then looked across the table. “Oh, Elena, hi.” 

“Hey, Penny,” she replied with a smile. 

Penny looked towards another woman when her name was called. Turning back to their table, she went on to say, “Well, it was a nice seeing you guys again. I’ve got to get back to my wife, but maybe I'll catch you around town before I leave?” 

“Sure,” Caroline answered, before they said their goodbyes and she sat back down beside Stefan. 

“Hey,” he touched her arm gently after noticing her frown. “You all right?” 

Caroline ran her fingers through her hair before turning to Stefan to reply, “That’s the second time this week that’s happened.” Looking between everyone she lowered her voice to say, “People are starting to notice I'm not ageing. I'm turning 26 soon but still look 17.” 

“It’s bound to happen, Blondie,” Damon found himself responding as he took a sip of the wine before him. “It’s kinda part of the package. Ya'know, being a vampire an all. But the problem is simple: just move.” 

“Damon,” Elena nudged him. 

“What?” he looked at her to say. “It’s true. It happens. You stay in a place too long, people start to notice. And as clever as your respond was, it won’t work for long. Isn’t that right, brother?” 

Opposite him, Stefan sighed and said, “Damon’s right,” having Damon lift his glass as a ‘cheer’ at Stefan, before taking another sip. “I know it’s not ideal, but it’s just the way things are. And in a place like Mystic Falls, it can bring the wrong type of attention.” 

“I know. I know,” Caroline leaned back in her chair with a small huff. “Bonnie made the same points too. She even began to look for new places to travel on my behalf. Places she knew I would thrive,” she released a sad laugh. 

“Bonnie is a smart woman,” Damon agreed easily, having the sound of Elena’s heart pick up enough for him to notice the change. Leaning in closer to her with his arm resting at the back of her chair, Damon’s fingers grazed her exposed shoulder before continuing with, “I would suggest you start to look for a new place to settle. Isn’t New York more your scene anyway?” 

“And uproot Lizzy’s and Josie's life like that? No way.” 

“Fine, what about that school idea you were thinking about?” 

“What school idea?” Elena asked. 

“Bonnie told you about that?” 

“Of course, she did. She tells me everything,” he smirked, having her roll her eyes at him. “Even I can say the idea isn’t so bad. There aren’t much supernatural schools around. It could be helpful.” 

“See, I told you,” Stefan smiled. 

“Wait, what school?” Elena questioned again. Damon quickly explained the idea Caroline had to open up a school for the supernatural as a way to keep them out of harm and causing harm to others; a way to have them garner control over their gifts so they’d be less problematic when older or in confrontation. “How comes you never told me?” 

Caroline shrugged. “It was just a silly idea I came up with and Bonnie totally ran with it. She always was into that Harry Potter stuff.” 

“Nerd,” Damon snorted with a smile. 

“Well, I think it’s a great idea.” 

“Thanks,” Caroline smiled. “But that doesn’t solve the issue of people noticing that I'm not ageing. That we’re not ageing,” including himself and Stefan in the equation. “If I do this, should it be near here or away? What location will it be? How big will it be? How would I get the funding?” she wondered, her eyes widening as if it was already stressing her out. Stefan simply cupped her chin and kissed her. Pulling away he told, “You’ll find a way. You always do. And I'll be here to help. We all will.” 

Reaching for his phone at the incoming message, he opened it and smile. ‘Hope you’re enjoying your double date, but you’re missing some SERIOUS shit in GOT. The whole ending is just WTF!’ 

‘NO SPOILERS!’ he typed 

‘I wouldn’t dare. Now get back to your date. Tell everyone I said hi!’ 

Pocketing his phone, he announced, “Bon-Bon said hi,” and then finished the rest of his wine. Turning to Elena, he raised his hand and said, “Can I have this dance?” trying not to notice the way her face had turned sombre momentarily. Taking him in, she took his hand and allowed him to pull her onto the dance floor where two other couples were swaying as the soft keys of the piano played. Taking hold of her waist, her arms laced around his neck. 

Looking him in the eye, she suddenly asked, “Why haven't you taken the cure from me?” causing his lips to part in somewhat surprise. “I mean, it’s been over a year, Damon, and I didn’t really want to bring it up too often, but all that talk about ageing back there has me thinking. Caroline and Stefan might have to relocate in a couple of years, but I don’t. We don’t. But soon people are going to start questioning about you too.” 

Damon found himself remaining quiet as they swayed. Elena gently pushed his hair back, smiling softly with affection and he’s stunned at how beautiful she is. How much she wasn’t like Katherine. The thought caught him of guard for a moment. Why was he comparing Elena to her, after all this time? 

Probably because you’re trying to find all the things in Elena that you didn’t have with Katherine, the voice sounding particularly like Bonnie told. 

“I want to be with you, Damon. And I... I just feel like you’ve been starting to have second thoughts,” she admitted. 

“Why would you say that?” 

She took him in, her brown eyes a whirlpool of emotion. “I don’t know. You just seem distracted. Like you’d rather be hanging out with other people than me.” 

“Elena,” he spoke softly. “I want to be with you. I just – It's just, becoming human again is a big step and I...I'm going to do it. I will. But I've been this way for so long and I like it. I like being a vampire, but I just have to come to terms with it before giving it up,” he tried to explain. 

“Giving it up?” she repeated, her brows coming together. “I get that. I do. But I feel like you taking longer to decide is you giving up on me. On us. Like you don’t want this with me anymore. I mean, don’t you want a family? Don’t you want to grow old with me? We’ve spoken about the future before the cure was even possible and you seemed more on board, but now I'm not too sure.” 

“It’s a big decision, Elena.” 

“But wouldn’t you want to be human again? To not have to survive on blood. To not be a target?” 

“To get shit like cancer, you mean? To be walking and suddenly getting hit by a car? To not have the ability to heal or have speed or be strong. Trust me, I know what it’s like to be human. I’ve seen what it’s like over many years and it’s scary.” 

Taking his face in her hands, she stroked his cheeks gently, “And we would face everything together. The good. The bad. And the scary. We could have it all,” her voice held promise. “I love you and I want to be with you. But like this, I won’t get to be with you for long,” having his chest fill with nerves and as she kissed him, for the first time he wanted to pull away and tell her that he couldn’t do this. That he had changed his mind and that he just wasn’t ready. That if she loved him, she would be more empathetic towards him and how he felt, yet with all this, he couldn’t help to think that Elena deserved this. That she deserved to be happy. And if it’s human him that she wanted, then it’s the human him he shall give her. 

'But it’s not what you want and you know this. You shouldn’t have to change who you are or what you are if it isn’t what you want'. Again, Bonnie’s voice plagued his mind and it reminded him of a conversation they had when trapped in the prison world years ago. They were bored and decided to come with questions based on fake realities. 

“If none of this happened and Elena asked you to take the cure, would you?” she had asked. 

“To be with Elena? Isn't the answer all ready obvious?” 

“Why?” 

“Why not? I love Elena. It’s as simple as that,” he shrugged. 

“You wouldn’t even think about it? Not even for a second?” 

“What’s there to think about? Assuming I’m a vampire and she isn’t in this fake reality...If I want to be with her, I'd give it up.” Bonnie looked at him for a long while, her gaze sharp, yet there was a frown beginning to set on her face. “What is it, Judgy?” 

“I just always thought you liked being a vampire. Apart from your homicidal tendencies that I think comes more from you as an individual, vamperism just seems to come naturally to you. Like Caroline. Elena not so much. But I don’t know. That seems like you’re giving up too much on the whim of love.” 

“On the whim of love," he scoffed. "Clearly you haven’t been in love like I have.” 

“Obsessively so? No,” she snapped back. Rolling her eyes, she went on with “If she’s asking you to do it, I think that’s a problem. I get it. You love her. But unless it was something that you actually wanted for yourself; that you can see happening and being a decision you’d make with or without Elena as a catalyst, then I wouldn’t bat an eyelid. But if you’re doing it purely for her sake, I wouldn’t want you to feel pressured and then become resentful in the future because you missed it.” 

Eyes dropping to the floor, he considered her words seeing the logic behind it. Yet, Elena was who he wanted to be with. Was who he wanted. He'd do anything she’d asked. If he didn’t know any better, he’d think that he was sired to her. Lifting his gaze, he shot a lazy smile and replied, “Careful, Bon-Bon. Sounds a little like you care.” 

“Whatever,” she dismissed. “I’m just saying, if someone I loved told me to get rid of my magic - that’s if I had any - and it wasn’t completely my choice, but purely based on my affection for them, I don’t know. I’d wonder if they even cared enough about me at all to want to get rid of something they knew I loved.” 

Looking back into brown eyes rather than the greens he had thought of, Damon smiled softly and leaned down to kiss Elena. He's been a vampire long enough and not all of it has been exactly great. If he wanted to move on with his life with the Elena like they had spoken about many times over the years, then this was logically the next step to take, right?

Lips parting, he released a short exhale before meeting her gaze again to say, “OK.” 

\- 

Two weeks had passed and Damon was wrapped up in the limbs of Elena, her hair spread over his pillow. The sun was peeking through the curtain and a ray cast over his bare leg. Flicking his fingers, the absence of his ring could not go unnoticed. After more than a century of wearing it, his daylight ring suddenly being stripped from him in a way that had nothing to do with torture, but for the simple fact of him no longer needing it had him feeling...different. 

“Morning,” Elena’s voice spoke sleepily. Facing her, he kissed her lips and replied morning back, having her smile. “Would you like to go out and have breakfast with me?” 

“Are you asking me out on a date, Miss Gilbert?” 

“Maybe,” she giggled and the smile on her face had him smile in return. Getting up, Elena’s naked form stood before him as she held her hand out. “Shower with me?” 

“Anything for the pretty lady,” he replied, causing her to blush and he knew if he had repeated that to Bonnie in general conversation, she would have rolled her eyes at him and told him to shut up. 

Clenching his jaw, he stopped himself from thinking about his best friend while in the company of his girlfriend. Yet, somehow, she just always seemed to slip into his thoughts, especially after not seeing her for two weeks because he found that he couldn’t. He was scared to. Worried to see the look in her eyes as she saw this new version of himself that he wasn’t too sure what to do with. He was scared that she may be disappointed in him for his choice, so he ignored her. He didn’t text her and when she text or called, he’d ignore it. When she came to the house three days after he took the cure, he all but ran and hid, telling Stefan to say he wasn’t in knowing his brother would pick it up with his vampire hearing. Wasn’t his finest moment, but whatever. 

Eventually him and Elena were soon showered and ready to go, with him in a burgundy shirt and jeans, while Elena wore a short floral red dress and a denim jacket. Getting into his car, they drove off with the roof down, having to warm summer’s air bask down on them. The time wasn’t as early as they originally thought, so instead of going to the Grill for breakfast, it was more like lunch. 

Car parked and hand in hand, the two walked inside, though Damon’s step almost faltered as his stomach sunk. He could make out Bonnie from anyone in the world. So, as she stood at the bar with her back to them, Damon was tempted to turn and leave. He wasn’t ready to face her and he was too nervous to find out what she’d say now. But he had no choice in the matter when Caroline appeared out of nowhere. 

“Caroline, hey,” Elena greeted, starting the pleasantries between the two. 

As this went on, Damon’s eyes remained on Bonnie as she was speaking to the bar tender who was smiling at whatever she was saying while he wiped the counter Damon was sure was already clean. Head falling back in laughter, the decent looking man with skin warmer than Bonnie's was beaming at her reaction to him. Damon wished he could hear for himself to find out what was so funny, because the guy certainly looked like he didn’t have any comedic factors about him. Being pulled out of his thoughts, Elena’s hand tugged him along to a table where Stefan was already seated. Elena sat opposite Stefan and Damon sat beside her. With Caroline also taking a seat, Damon was already regretting not just staying home and having breakfast/lunch/whatever in bed. 

“Bonnie,” Caroline called, having Damon instantly look up to find Bonnie walking in their direction. 

He couldn’t help it, but his heart was pounding faster while his stomach were doing loops. She looked very pretty today, as usual. Wearing a low-cut black top that were pushed in her high-waist vintage bootcut denim jeans with black heels, she had straightened her hair and curled it while trimming herself a fringed that framed her heart shaped face beautifully. Brown skin looking smooth as always, her green eyes were locked on his with an uncertain look. Damon moved his attention to Elena’s hand sliding into his where it laid on the table, having him find his breath again. 

“Look who had the same idea as us,” Caroline went on when Bonnie was standing before them. “Make sense they join us, right?” 

“Right,” she spoke, having him look up then, finding her eyes were solely trained on him with that same look. “How’ve you been?” her tone was flat and somewhat accusing. 

“Good - great,” he replied. 

“We’ve been great,” Elena added, having Bonnie’s attention shift to her and then back at Damon. 

Her jaw tensing, she nodded and replied, “Good to hear,” with a smile he was 100% sure was fake before she chose to sit beside Caroline. 

Conversation between Elena, Stefan and Caroline began to spark up, yet Bonnie didn’t involve herself. Instead she was just watching him. Taking him in as if it was the first time and it left him feeling exposed. He tried to look away, to clear his throat, to even wave his fingers at her, but all it did was have her narrow her eyes at him before she shook her head and looked away once the waiter came to the table with previous drink orders and then took his and Elena’s, alongside their meals. Conversation started again between the three, but this time Damon took a breath and asked, “You OK?” 

“Fine.” 

“Okaay,” he responded at her brisk tone. “Well, what have you been up to?” 

“You would know if you answered my texts or calls,” she replied flatly. 

“Bon, c’mon,” he spoke playfully, having her glare at him. “Don’t be like that,” he reached for her hand with his free one, but she moved away. The act hurt, but he masked it with a smile. Releasing Elena’s hand, he leaned forward and met Bonnie’s gaze as he said, “I’m fine,” knowing she’d understand what he meant. Knowing his well-being and being unable to hear for herself how he felt was why she was really upset with him. But even as she nod her head, he knew she wasn’t fully satisfied with his answer, but it was all he could give her now and she took it as their meals came and began to eat, hardly putting anything into the conversation surrounding them. 

“You’ve got eyes on you,” Caroline nudged Bonnie. “He’s cute.” 

“Hmm.” 

“What? You’re not interested?” 

“Well...” 

“Could have fooled me with all that flirting you were doing earlier.” 

“I was not!” she opposed. 

“You definitely were,” she argued and then looked to Stefan to say, “Right?” 

“Maybe just a little,” he admitted, having Bonnie reach over to hit him on the shoulder. “I said a little,” Stefan laughed. 

“See. I’m not lying. Maybe you should give him a go.” 

“He’s not a bike, Care,” 

“He could be,” she responded with a wiggle of her eyebrows. Bonnie chuckled to herself, yet Damon couldn’t help but frown. Turning in his seat to look at the bar, the bartender was already looking their way, his gaze presumably on Bonnie. 

“You should get his number,” Caroline went on. 

“I already have it.” That got Damon to turn back around, looking at Bonnie as if she had lost her mind. “What?” she asked. 

“Really, Bon? Him?” 

“Why not him?” 

“He seems boring,” he said dismissively. 

“He’s actually quite funny,” she defended. 

Damon picked up his drink and murmured, “I doubt that,” to himself before taking a sip. Eyes narrowed, Bonnie excused herself from the table to go to the bathroom and Damon couldn’t help but watch her leave. 

“You know she’s upset with you, right?” 

“You don’t say,” he replied sarcastically. 

Caroline huffed and Elena asked, “Why’s Bonnie upset?” 

“Maybe it’s because Damon has been ignoring her since he took the cure from you,” she answered before he could get a word out. 

“Why?” she wondered. 

“Probably because he kn-” her sentence was cut short, having her look at Stefan and then say, “I dunno. It's not nice to be ignored, I guess. I’d be bitter too.” 

“Maybe a little space between them is a good thing,” Elena said, having him snap his gaze to her with a frown. “What? You two have been spending a lot of time together. A little space is good for anyone. It might sound a little bad, but for the last two weeks, I've actually been able to see you.” 

“You see me every day. And most of the time you’re at work anyway,” he countered. 

“But I like coming home knowing you’re there.” 

He was about to say he’s usually there, but he understood she meant him being there alone without Bonnie. But that for him was miserable. He missed her. Missed hanging out, if not at the Boarding House then at hers, helping to make the home remedies for her online business. Or watching shows. Or laughing. Or even going out for a stroll. He missed her a lot, but he was scared of what she’d say to him when they were alone. What she’d make him think about and eventually confess when it was just the two of them because she was gifted in having him open up about shit he wished to stay buried. 

He didn’t know how long he was in thought, but Bonnie had returned and she was pocketing her phone, reaching for her bag. 

“Where are you going?” he instantly questioned. 

“I’m going to hang out with Marvin. His shift is over now, so, why not, right?”, having Caroline squeal. “Um, I've already covered the bill, so you guys enjoy the rest of your day,” she told as Caroline pulled her into a quick hug, saying thanks and that she’d get the next one. 

Backing away, Damon grabbed her hand and stood with a, “Bon, wait.” Pulling her in, he wrapped his arms around her and just held her. Pulse quickening, after a moment of hesitation, her arms wrapped around him and he’s never felt more relief than in this moment with her. “I’m sorry,” he whispered in her ear and he felt her shiver. He knew he should let go, as their hug was extending to a dangerous length with others around, plus with Bonnie’s feelings towards him; but he felt the need to keep her there and close. 

Bonnie nod her head, saying, “If you say you’re fine then I'll leave it at that,” leaving out the ‘but I don’t believe you’ at the ends. 

Parting, she smiled at him softly and all felt right again until she was out of his reach completely and walking side by side with the Bartender out of the Grill.


	4. Chapter 4

Brilliant bright blue eyes shun bright when she walked in and closed the door behind her. Dressed in his uniform, the shiny new badge pinned to his chest suited him. 

“Sheriff Donovan,” she started and raised the bag in her hand. “I have brought you lunch as a form of congratulations.” 

Matt stood and rounded his desk. Pulling her in for a hug, he laughed in her ear and released her with a wide grin. 

“Thanks, Bonnie.” 

Placing the bag on the table, she tapped his chest. “Look at you, Mr hotshot. I’m so proud of you. I’m in New York for a week and come back to this?” 

“I tried to call,” he defended. 

“And what a time it was to lose my phone. I only knew because I ran into Natalie and she told me. Had to come by to see for myself.” 

“Yeah, it still feels weird.” 

“Well, Natalie has definitely bagged the hottest police officer. Plus, she can practically get away with murder now,” she laughed and Matt joined. “I know it’s a big role and all the shit you’ll have to deal with, but you’re honestly the best person for the job. You look out for those who need it. You do what’s right and that’s all we can ask for in the Sheriff.” 

“C'mon, Bon, you’re gonna make me cry,” he joked. “Thanks. It means a lot.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

“I was nervous to take the role at first.” 

Brows coming together, she asked, “Why?” 

“Because of Caroline. Because of her mum. This was Liz's job. It still would have been if she hadn’t gotten cancer. And I know before I used to wonder how she could let all the bad shit go down, but after all this time, I know. And knowing what I know just makes me respect her even more. She cared for this town. She did her best to protect it. I just want to live up to that, ya'know?.” 

Bonnie reached out to touch his arm. “You will. And I’m sure Care is just as proud and happy for you.” 

Matt nodded and chuckled. “Yeah. She and the girls baked me a dozen cupcakes.” 

“Sounds like Care,” she laughed. 

“Now,” he clapped his hands. “What'd you get me?” 

Bonnie spent the next hour with Matt, catching up as they ate. It felt nice. It had been a while since the two had any quality time together with it just being them, rather than a group gathering. Matt was the constant reminder of everything right with humanity. That being human did not mean you were weak. 

Matt, she figured, was one of the strongest of them all. That in the face of danger where death was almost a certainty, he was always there for his friends. Had always been there and looked out for them. Matt was pure and the definition of good. She loved that about him. Loved the man he was and had a amazing girlfriend. Natalie was supportive and understanding. She was the crutch Matt didn’t know he needed and vice versa. Their relationship was beautifully human in that nature, even when surrounded by the supernatural. 

Bonnie frown for a moment, suddenly remembering how despite being happy, Natalie appeared flustered. Bonnie had asked if she was alright, but Natalie had waved it off, saying that she was ‘beyond fine.’ 

“Hey,” she started after wiping her mouth with the napkin, “is Nat alright? She seemed a little flustered, yet perfectly fine at the same time.” 

She watched as Matt rubbed the back of his neck and bit his lip. 

“Matt?” 

Shutting his eyes, he made a somewhat strained face as he leaned back on his chair before exhaling sharply and looked at her straight on. 

“OK,” he started. “Promise not to say anything to anyone.” 

“Matt?” she dragged his name in a curious tone. 

“Promise me,” he said again and leaned over his table with his hand extended. “Here. Pinkie swear.” 

Brow raised, she huffed and wrapped her pinkie around his. “Fine. I swear.” 

Hand releasing, he leaned closer, his body practically laying on the table and said, “We're having a baby.” 

“WHAT?” she exclaimed and then put her hands to her mouth. Matt shushed her and laughed while her mouth hung opened. “Oh my gosh.” 

Matt was smiling bright. The blonde of his hair seemed golden from the suns ray behind. Everything just seemed to exude happiness. She shot up immediately and did a weird quick shuffle towards him. He stood and hugged her back. 

“Seriously, Bonnie. Not a soul.” 

Pulling back, she said, “How far along?” 

“About five weeks?” 

“Still quite early for a solid heartbeat. Would explain why Care and the others haven’t picked up on it yet. But they will soon. You know that, right? And then Care is going to go all crazy on your ass.” 

“Looking forward to it. But let’s just keep this under wraps.” 

Bonnie agreed and gave him another congratulations on both the promotion and baby. He thanks her for the lunch and then she left his office. Bonnie got into her car and drove through Mystic Falls until she parked outside the Boarding House. Making her way to the door with a gift in hand, she stepped inside. 

Hearing music drifting down the hall, she followed it to the kitchen, seeing Damon bop his head to a R&B song. Back turned to her, it brought back 1994 memories. She smiled to herself at his unawareness as he had now started to sing a few notes. Clearing her throat, Damon jumped and then hissed when a splash of oil popped from the pot and landed on his arm. He cursed under his breath and lowered the volume of the music. 

Bonnie giggled and shook her head. “Brought you a gift,” she gestured, holding up a special brand of bourbon she knew nothing off, but had a spark of something flash in Damon’s eyes. 

Hand held out, he took it and examined the bottle. He whistled low. “Where did Enzo find this?” 

Bonnie shrugged and heaved herself up on the counter. Damon place the bottle down and then turned off the fire. Placing the egg and sausage in a plate, he poured himself a small glass of the bourbon. 

“Breakfast for lunch?” she wondered. 

“I was in a mood,” he told. “If I knew you were coming over, I would have made something different.” 

As he said this, he had set the plate beside her from where she sat instead of going to the table. Leaning against the counter, he cut a piece of sausage and held it up to her. 

She shook her head in decline. “Just had lunch with Matt.” 

“Ah,” he nodded as he plopped the food into his mouth and muffled out, “the new Sheriff.” 

“He's going to do great,” she said softly with a smile; his good news giving her a buzz of excitement.

“How was your trip?” 

“Fine. Enzo showed me around. Met some of his friends. The vibe was good,” she shrugged. “What about you? How was your week?” 

“Just great. The best. Was hanging out with Ric a town over. We got into a bar fight. A guy stabbed me with a broken bottle.” 

“Oh my God, are you all right?” she urged, about to slide off the counter but he stopped her with his hand on her thigh. 

“Don’t worry about me, Bon-Bon. I’m just fine. Peachy.” 

His voice had a snap to it. The sarcastic tone used when he was pissed off or not ready to deal with something. Him taking a swing of the drink for good measure was the icing on top. She said nothing for a while. Just let him finish his meal and put the dish in the sink before coming back over to her and pouring himself another drink. 

“Phone,” she eventually said, her hand casted out. He dug through his pocket and handed it to her. Looking at it, his lock screen was of the two of them. One she had taken months back when he had finished braiding her hair and he had put on a goofy face. She chewed the inside of her cheek and entered his pin. The screen changed to a picture of Elena. She was sleeping with her hair splayed across the pillow. She looked beautiful as usual. Tapping ‘contacts' she typed away and then handed him his phone back saying, “My new number.” 

It fell quiet for a moment until she broke it with, “Do you want to talk about it?” She was looking at him, but his gaze was staring into his glass. “I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. I won’t. But, just know I’m here to listen if you want me too. I’m here for you, Damon. No matter what. You know that, right?” 

From as close as he was, she could see the faint sign of a healing bruise at his jaw. It made her wonder what his stab wound looked like. How bad it was and how many stitches he needed. It was the first time looking at him and seeing someone who could now be hurt and not heal like he had before. And vampire blood wasn’t an option. The cure within him wouldn’t allow it to heal him if needed. He’d have to survive the old fashion way with medicine or by a witch. It was lucky for him that he has both. But it would not always be a given. And the vulnerability of Damon that she was still not used to had her heart speed up. He was stuck with his decision because magic couldn't reverse the affects of the cure. 

Feeling hesitant at first, she lifted her hand and touched his jaw, tracing the fading assault. Damon tensed and she put her hand down instantly. She refrained from saying ‘sorry' and instead sighed at the stupidity of her action. 

“I know you said you’re fine, but I can tell you’re not. And how you’re feeling, whatever it is, should be expressed. If not to me, then Stefan, Ric, anyone. You shouldn’t have to hide.” 

He looked up then, his eyes a muddled mess of emotions before he seems to settle on annoyance. 

“What do you want me to say, Bon? I’m fine. I'm doing great.” 

“You sure about that?” 

“Why can’t you just accept it?” 

“I’ve accepted it. I’m just not sure if you have. I think you haven’t fully come to terms with your decision. I think you miss it. That this little mishap at the bar is the first time anything dangerous really happened that could have messed you up. And admitting it – missing it won’t mean you made the wrong choice. It’s just...being human.” She paused. “I care about you, Damon. And I hate the fact that you seem like you can’t talk about it. You might distract yourself with Elena or whatever, but have you really mourned your lost? It might sound stupid, but you were a vampire for over a century. You thrived in it. Now your actions might have been questionable, but you seemed calmer within your skin. Safe.” 

She slipped down then and stood before him. 

“I want you to feel safe not just within your skin, but in here,” she tapped the side of his head. 

He no longer wore annoyance on his face, but he still seemed guarded and non-expressive. She took him in, from his dark hair, ivory skin and piercing ice blue eyes that made her breath catch. He was as handsome as ever and she hated that she couldn’t just turn her feelings off. That the thought of him still gave her butterflies no matter how hard she said she didn’t feel that way anymore. And once again like what had happened with Enzo a while back, it seems like Damon Salvatore had ruined her, as she quickly lost interest in Marvin. They spoke for about three weeks, but she stopped it. Not feeling a connection beyond physical attraction. 

Marvin was nice enough, but not enough for her. Her body didn’t tingle in delight when he touched her. When he spoke she wasn’t as focused. And though he made her laugh, the banter wasn’t quite right. It was as if every male she came in contact with she would begin a comparison to Damon, which none of them lived up to. And in doing that, she felt like she was sabotaging potential chances. But there was at least a good thing that came from the cure. It meant Damon now couldn’t hear how fast her heart was beating when around him, yet from the way he glanced at her neck in that moment, she knew he saw the pulse beneath her skin, so she looked down and stepped away from him. 

She cleared her throat and put her hand in her denim jacket. 

“I guess with everything that had happened, this seems like a good time, so, here.” 

Damon reached forward, his fingers grazing hers as he took the black onyx mixed with infinite to structure the band that had a strip of a blue crystal wrapped around it. Damon twisted the ring and looked at her. 

“You proposing to me, Bennett?” with a brow raised and a smirk. He was trying to lighten the situation. 

She rolled her eyes. “Call it your protection.” 

“You made me a Gilbert ring 2.0?” he mused. 

“Salvatore ring,” she corrected. “Yes. I spelled it especially so by chance you get bit by a vampire, the cure won’t be taken from your blood. So, you won’t age rapidly and – well – die.” 

“How thoughtful,” he huffed out with a playful snark. 

“I try,” was her response. 

Damon smiled and wrapped his arms around her. His spiced cologne had her wanting to inhale it all in. She refrained and hugged his torso, her head resting on his shoulder. His warmth seeped into her, making her body suddenly feel weak, but she stayed standing, enjoying the contact for as long it would last. Where she could pretend she could stay this way with him until she was ready to let go. The problem was that she didn’t think she would even if she had the choice because his embrace was just so welcoming. But more often than not she’d force herself and break the delusion. So, with a deep breath, she pushed back and smiled up at him. 

“Hopefully you won’t have a need for it. But, better safe than sorry.” 

Damon’s face had softened, his eyes gentle as he took her in. Looking down at the ring, he twisted it around and then placed it on his finger where his daylight ring used to be. 

“A lot less obvious,” he observed. “I like it. Thanks. You didn’t have to, but it means a lot.” 

Because you mean a lot, she wanted to say but opted for, “Don’t worry about it. It’s a practical choice. Now unless you and Elena are going to run off into the sunset together and leave this place behind for a safe suburbia, its best you have extra protection.” 

“Well, lucky I’m not a running off in the sunset type of guy.” 

She laughed. “No. You’d prefer an open road, bourbon and your Camaro.” 

“You know me so well,” he grinned as he draped his arm over her shoulder casually. “And speaking off, I need to change her oil. You can keep me company.” 

Bonnie groaned exaggeratedly. 

“Oh hush” he sounded. “And, update. What do you think of the title, Professor Salvatore?” 

Bonnie raised her brow up at him as he led her forward. “It’s random. Why?” 

“Well, now that I’m a fragile meat suit-" 

“Ah, less, fragile meat suit,” she interjected. 

Damon rolled his eyes and continued, “I’m human. I can’t just compel people to entertain me and get into places anymore. And all of you have your own stuff going on. I need that too. I need a job.” 

“So, you’re going to teach?” she summed up. “How? What subject? Since when were you into teaching anything because you have met you, right? You’re not exactly patient.” 

“It won’t be something boring.” 

“Then what?” 

“I’ll work with Ric.” 

“At Whitmore?” 

“What? Hell no,” he waved off dismissively as if offended. “Blondie's school,” he clarified. “She’s already found a location with that mansion not so far out. And knowing her, the renovations shouldn’t be an issue. Plus, I could give a generous donation as a starter up. If she bats her lashes at Klaus, he could sprinkle some cash too.” 

He paused to gauge her response, but all she did was look up at him. He had led her through the back door and around the house. Now standing by the garage, Bonnie dragged a chair and sat. 

“Think about it. It would be the best place for me. I could help out. Teach unruly brats. I know about the supernatural. I’ve been a vampire. Who wouldn’t want to hear what I have to say?” 

Bonnie watched as he ventured around his car and got the necessary tools before he popped the hood up. He met her stare and she saw a glimmer there. The way he spoke, she sensed being in a space such as that would provide comfort, as a normal office job would not fulfil someone like Damon. He needed action. Adrenaline. Variety. A simple life was not who he was, despite him willing to conform to just that to be with Elena. But with this idea, there was an excitement there where he’d feel needed and accepted. 

“Look, it’s just an idea. I dunno, it just sounds fun.” He rested his arms on the hood above and sighed. “I have to do something with my time now, right? Why not this?” 

Bonnie stood and strolled over to him. Leaning on the car, she met his gaze. “You don’t need to convince me it’s a good idea. If this is what you want, do it. It’s your life and you should live it how you want. And this way you’ll be helping people too. Probably encourage the kids to do all sorts of fuckery,” she joked at the end, garnering a chuckle from him. “Whatever you want, I’ll support it.” 

“Thanks,” he smiled with so much warmth it had her heart squeeze. 

She looked away and rubbed her temple before saying, “So what does Elena think?” 

Damon pursed his lips and replied, “I haven’t told her. Only you and Ric know. He's on-board with it. He probably just wants a drinking buddy on campus. Not that I will deny the possibility of that happening.” 

“At this point, the more on board at the start, the better. As long as you’re on your best behaviour, Care would be glad to have you. She’s been worries about getting the teachers and finding the students and then figuring out the syllabus when the time comes. Having you and Ric should ease the load. And Stefan can manage Care so she doesn’t burn out.” 

“And what about you?” 

“What about me?” 

“I can imagine you as a teacher. You are one. You’ve gone through so much shit; your life could be a history lesson. New witch taking on an Original, dealing with expression, dying, all the doppelganger bull, coming back to life to be the new anchor, dying again with me and ending up in a prison world and escaping. Then witchpires-“ 

“And you’re still sticking to that name,” she shook her head with a snort. 

“Look, we’ve been through so much shit. You’ve done so much shit. You stopped hellfire, Bon. I’m just saying. That type of experience is worth sharing.” 

“I get it. I get it,” she laughed. “And I didn’t say I wouldn’t help out. But teaching like that isn’t exactly my thing. But I know someone who may be interested. I’ve already given Care her info, so the witch part is covered.” 

She refrained from the mention of werewolves. Doing that just brought bad memories and hurt her. She missed Tyler. Wished he was there. And knowing Damon was the one to take his life complicated things. Yet, Damon’s actions at the time were also complicated and unexplainable. The only reason she felt a little lighter about it was due to knowing Tyler had found peace. And with that peace, she was able to forgive Damon, but not before cussing him out for both hers and Tyler’s sake. But she knew Tyler’s death is one Damon regretted. The list was few, but Tyler was on it. She just wished he hadn't ended up on it in the first place because he didn't deserve that shit. 

“Care will be fine. She always makes things like this work. She’s in her element at this point. I’m just glad she’s following through with it. I know I could have used a space like that.” 

“Pstt,” Damon sounded. “If you were in a school, you wouldn’t have been the witch you are today. It’s all about experience and you’ve got tons of that. But I get it. Safe zone blah blah blah.” 

“You give me way too much credit.” 

“Can’t help it,” he grinned, “You’re my favourite witch.” 

Bonnie’s stomach was in knots. Gazing up at him, she wondered how she felt so deep, because he was shattering her heart faster than she could mend it, and he had no clue just how much. He may know how she had felt, but how she was feeling now in this moment with his attention fully on her was both exhilarating and painful at once. 

He’s done so much fucked up shit, yet she now knew the person he was and his motives. He wasn’t a complete dick. He just had dickish tendencies. He cared deeply. People often thought Stefan felt the most emotion, but Damon had just learnt how to master his...mostly. Damon liked to present himself as one dimensional, but like everyone else, there’s always more. And the more she knew, the harder she fell. And damn she was plummeting without a parachute for backup. 

His eyes sparkled with mirth as he looked at her with that smile of his. Running his fingers through his shortened black hair, she followed the movement as his gaze looked above her head. Lips a soft pink colour, she wanted to feel them against her own. She wanted to grab him by his neck and take control. 

She wanted him to... 

She wanted him to... 

She wanted him. 

Damon looked at her and she averted her gaze smoothly. Her face becoming neutral, she said, “Well, I’m your only witch. Plus, the amount of times you guys would have been dead without me. Ugh, the outcome would have been catastrophic.” She pushed herself off the car and sat herself on the chair. “But I appreciate the importance I hold in your life. Makes me feel all warm inside,” she teased. 

Damon rolled his eyes with a chuckle, he said “Well, it is an honour. I like you. You’re one of the lucky ones,” before he proceeded to assess the mechanics under the hood of the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it just me that doesn't mind Matt? He gets so much contempt. #poormatt. Anywho, slight shift. Wanted him to become sheriff a little later on than as soon as he did in the canon and why not give him a baby while we're at it. He deserves a little happiness, right?  
> Damon is, well, Damon. He's coping with the change, but Bonnie is seeing straight through it. And Bonnie...I'm sure if she had a switch like vampires do she would jump on that like no man's business. Her emotions are all over the place.  
> But anyway, confrontation coming up in the next chapter.  
> Thanks for continuing to read this story and commenting your thoughts. Appreciate it!  
> K.


	5. Chapter 5

If you wanted to sober up quickly, hearing the words, "Can I ask you something?" was definitely the way to do it. Elena sat forward in her seat, a glass of red in her hand as her big brown eyes met hers. Caroline made a small sound along the lines of 'uh oh', already picking up on the vibe possibly changing and glanced at Bonnie with the same questioning look Bonnie was sure she wore herself. 

Easing herself up slightly, her head swam a little but she pushed it back and replied, "Sure," in a very unsure manner. 

She expected whatever it was for Elena to ease into it. To almost beat around the bush, but with liquor flowing through them all, give or take Caroline, Elena came out with, "Are you in love with my boyfriend?" 

Not, 'What's the deal with you and Damon?' 

Or, 'Do you like Damon?' 

She came out with the big questioned flatly that it had Caroline choke on her gulp of wine as Elena sat waiting expectantly for Bonnie to answer. 

"Well?" she prompted. 

Maybe she's been in the company of Damon for far too long, but she huffed a laugh as if it was amusing and asked, "What would make you think that?" in a tone that had the question sound absurd. She wasn’t answering. She was redirecting it to make the assumption appear ridiculous enough that it had to be a joke. To further it she sat forward herself, stare focused as if clearing her drunken haze, her eyes softening all while she paid particular attention to the beat of her heart to make sure it was steady. "Seriously, Elena, why would you think that? Is everything OK?" 

It was a sly move and she knew it, but the question had taken her off guard. Sharing her feeling with Damon was one thing. In the past few years, he had been more of a best friend than Elena. More of a staple in her life. Friendships often grew apart while others developed and, in this case, that's what happened. Her and Caroline had remained close even if they didn't hang out as much as they did. Elena's life path, however, just seemed to drift far from theirs, especially in the supernatural sense. 

Elena eyes cast down for a moment as if rethinking her thought until she spoke, "There's something there Bonnie. I'm not crazy. Caroline sees it too." 

Bonnie looked at Caroline who held her hands up in surrender before facing Elena again. That simple announcement right there just exposed Elena's suspicions. Suspicions enough to seek assurance. Bonnie now wondered what they had spoken about because she was so sure she kept things under wrap from the very beginning. She hadn't been doing anything outlandish or out of character, has she? 

"We're friends," she sighed. "Nothing more. If you think there’s something going on between u-" 

"I don't. Damon would never do that to me," she immediately said. 

To Bonnie, the statement kind of hurt. Not that Damon would cheat. He wouldn't. He might be a lot of things, but a cheater was not one (Krystal doesn’t count). What got under her skin was the hidden layer beneath it. The tone that her own thoughts previously would mock her for. He wouldn't want you. Damon and Bonnie: friends but nothing more. A truth that was as solid as diamonds and it fucking irked her and she wished it didn't. That she hadn't felt the way she did. Feel the way she does. Maybe even a little more now that he had a human lifespan that was utterly distracting. Of how in reach he was now he was human, but couldn't have. It made her just want to run away from everything again because distance kind of worked for her the last time until she was in close proximity to him again, that is. 

"I don't want your boyfriend," her tone came out a little snappy. Irritated at the conversation topic. Irritated that the statement wasn’t true. "What would even make you think that?" She turned to their blonde friend. "What could you see, Care? Hm?" 

"I'm not getting involved," Caroline spoke into her glass. 

"Too late for that as you both have so much to say behind my back." Her snark was popping out more. A drunk Bonnie was also a loose lipped Bonnie that said anything she wanted. Luckily, she was merely tipsy, but her defensive attitude was building the more she felt like she was being cornered. "So, tell me what makes you both so sure." She rested her arms on her thighs and clasped her fingers. 

"It's just been recently," Elena told. "Ever since he took the cure, really. You're always together. You have these little moments and-" 

"That doesn't seem much like a change. We were always together before. That man is literally one of my best friends. How’s that out of the ordinary to make you think I'm in love with him? Really?" 

"The way you look at him-" 

"And how’s that?" she interrupted again. 

"Why are you getting so defensive?" Elena sat back, her face hard. 

"Because I'm being accused of this shit!" 

"It's not shit, Bonnie, if I think you want my boyfriend!" 

"I don't!" 

"All right," Caroline quickly stood, her blonde hair bouncing back and forth as she looked down between the two. "I think we should just calm down and take a break." 

"No. We need to have this conversation," Elena argued. "Because I feel like I'm in a relationship with both Damon and Bonnie. It's like I can’t have one without the other. Every time I just want some time alone, Bonnie's always there somehow. Texting, on the phone or just brought up in the conversation." 

"Sounds like more of a ‘you’ problem," she uttered and Caroline lightly tapped her shoulder as if saying, 'Not helping'. "If you had such a problem with it, why don’t you just asked him to ignore my text while you two are hanging out? He’s done it before. And it's a two-way street, Elena; he's conversing with me too. He doesn't exactly let me know you two are together. If I did, I would have given you two space. It's not my fault that we're friends." 

"No. It's not. But it's becoming more for you." 

"Oh my god, I'm not fucking in love with him. And even if I was, what would come of it? Huh? Mess up two friendships? Embarrass myself? You said it yourself, he wouldn't jeopardise your relationship. Wouldn't even dream of it because all he wants is you. It’s always been you. Not me. So, fuck my feelings, true or not. Nothing will happen because he’s in love with you, Elena." She was breathing harder, fist balled. She took a breath and said calmer, "We're just friends. If you have a problem with that, I'm sorry, but I won’t stop being around him for you. Now him, I can’t speak for. If you have an issue, talk to him. Tell him you want more attention. Don't come at me with your accusation like I’m guilty." 

"Elena, I think you should just drop it for now. We can have this conversation again when you two aren’t so worked up," Caroline advised, still standing awkwardly between them. 

She shook her head. "She's lying." She stared head on at Bonnie. "You're lying. Why won't you just tell me the truth? You're in love with him. Admit it. I need to hear you say it because I know I'm not going crazy. That I’m not making this up. I see the way you look at him. I hear the way you talk to him. When you're together you just seem so happy like you two are the ones together." She huffed. "It’s not fair that he confides in you so much. It's not fair that he tells you everything before me. It's not fair that you have all his attention." 

"Well maybe if you weren't so damn busy you can ask him about him. What he wants to do. Where he wants to go. How his day went. I'm being a friend. You might be his girlfriend, but he’s entitles to have other company like me and Ric and Stefan. You're not his world, Elena. He has the right to live his life, his now human life, how he wants because it's all he has now." 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"Nothing." 

"No, tell me because you know him so well. What, he regrets taking the cure? That’s it, isn't it?" 

"That's not what I'm saying," she replied. 

Him taking the cure was more for Elena's sake than his. Elena was his muse, his reason, but it shouldn't have been. It shouldn't have been his only reason for his decision and she could see how it affected him. The way he'd look almost reminiscent when Stefan or Caroline would vamp speed or use their strength. The way he looked at his hand when he accidentally cut it as if waiting for it to heal immediately like it had for over a century. Heck, even bitterly laughing at his alcohol tolerance or physical health to the point of him recently joining Bonnie or Ric, Dorion or even Matt with fitness training to keep up. Vamperism had given him an edge and she hoped he wouldn't become resentful for giving it up. She wasn’t just worried for his sake, but Elena's too. 

"Then what are you saying?" she folded her arms. 

"Bonnie," Caroline spoke with warning as if screaming at her not to out what everyone already thought. 

"I'm saying, if you want to be with him, just be with him, Elena,” she sighed. “Leave me out of it. I don't want to take him from you, so relax. And if you don't know that, then, I guess you don't know me too well after all." 

Bonnie was conveying her words with such a finality that even to her own ears they was convincing. Of course, Elena knew her. Of course, she would know how Bonnie looked at someone she liked, but Bonnie had been so careful she knew on Elena's part it was nothing more than a lucky guess. She didn't actually want Elena to feel stupid or to gaslight her so badly; she honestly didn’t deserve it when she had a right to be upset. But Bonnie also didn't want to blurt out the truth. 

The only person who needed to know was Damon and they had sorted it out between them. They were back to being them again. She also wouldn't intentionally risk sabotaging anyone’s relationship, and confessing would do just that to some degree. 

Bonnie sat back shaking her head. "Look, it's late and I have some deliveries to dispatch tomorrow, so I'm going home." 

"Bonnie, no. Don’t leave," Caroline pleaded. "Why don't we just erase the last few minutes? Everything was going so good and we haven't hung out, just the three of us, in ages." 

She gave Caroline a tight smile. "Sorry, Care. Suddenly not in the mood." 

"Bonnie Bennett, should I remind you that you've been drinking and-" 

The front door opened leading to the main opened space they had been lounging in. They all looked up, watching as Damon and Stefan stepped in and closed the door behind them with a comforting smile on their faces, clearly have had a good night. Bonnie looked away as they faced the trio, already gathering her things. 

"Night," was all she said as she stood and pulled her bag over her shoulder. 

"Bonnie," Caroline spoke softly, though in a way she knew she couldn't stop her. 

"Let her go, Care," she heard Elena say and it almost had her turning on her heels with an attitude, but she kept forward, fist as tight as her irritated face. It was either that or allow the simmering magic creeping to the surface to lash out in a psychic blast. 

"Bon?" 

Damon reached for her, but she shrugged him off, saying ‘night’ to him and Stefan halfheartedly before leaving their house. 

The weather outside was wet and chilly, bringing in early October, having her shiver, but she kept on. 

"Bon!" She heard from behind. "Bonnie!" 

Her keys were already in her hand and automatically unlocked the door. She reached forward to open it, only to have it shut by Damon from behind. She closed her eyes, jaw clenched and released a sharp breath. 

"Bonnie, come on. Talk to me. What the hell just happened in there?" 

She turned to him, staring into his blue eyes that captured her far too much as the nightly breeze ruffled his short raven black hair. His cheeks looked flushed from the cold and she saw his lips tremble slightly. Taking notice of all of it, of him, was just falling back to where she started and solidifying the very thing she denied so heavily just moments ago. 

She tapped her ear discretely, knowing he'd understand they might have others listening to say, "Elena just flat out accused me of being in love with you." 

"Well, you are," he teased in a way that they both knew was true to some extent from their discussion months back, but others would assume was a joke; him not taking it seriously. She snorted and slapped his arm, unable to keep the small smile from forming. "What? Anyone would. I'm the very definition of tall, dark and handsome." 

"No, Marcel Gerard is," she argued somewhat jokingly, though her irritability was still very much present. 

"Ouch," he put a hand to his heart dramatically. 

"Shut up," she lightly chuckled. She looked back towards the Boarding House; brows frowned. "I think she just wants your attention more and she's projecting to make it seem like its somehow my fault. Like I'm keeping you away. She wants to be the one you confide in everything with." 

"So, she wants to be you?" 

She hit him again. "Take this seriously because I was about to say some shit to her that I wouldn't be able to take back." 

"Like?" 

She gave him a flat look. "Damon, be serious about this." 

"What? It's not every day I have two beauties fighting over me." 

Her chest fluttered, but she interjected with, "More like denying." 

"More like lying," he grinned. 

"Goodbye," she opened the car door and got in. He stood between her and the door so she wouldn't be able to close it. He crouched, staring up at her with an innocent face. "You need to talk to her," she told with genuine concerned. 

He sighed and replied, "I will," his tone less playful now. "But are you OK?" 

"I will be once I'm not being accused of trying to steal you," she huffed bitterly and added more to herself, "Like that would happen," while her gaze focused on the keys that fiddled in her hold. She exhaled sharply, seeing the conflicted look upon his usual mischievous face. "I'd say I'll text you later, but that might not be the best idea now." She leaned back into her seat and ran a hand over her sleeked back hair. "Just talk to her, OK? I don’t want to fight with her. I don’t want to make her feel like..." Pause. “Just talk to her.” He nodded as she reached for her seat belt and clicked in. 

"You know you could just stay here for the night." 

She gave him a flat look and he chuckled. “Just so you know, she might bring up the cure. If you regret taking it." Before he could groan out a reply, she was already speaking again. "I didn't say anything bad. Just that you have to make the most of your life now. To do what makes you happy. She took it as you regretting it. Just a heads up so you don’t go back in there blind." 

"Can I ask how you meant it?" 

She looked at him wanting to say a lot more, but just summed it down to, "You should be doing whatever makes you happy. You only have this life left like the rest of us. You need to live it for you, not just to please others. It’s something we all need to do more, to be honest. If it means you being friends with who you want or going places you want to go, you should be able to. People can be an influence, but the decision is solely yours alone. That's what's I meant." 

He shivered slightly as he stared at her face in thought. 

"Go inside before you catch a cold." 

He stood and rested an arm on her roof as he leaned against it. "Are you OK?" he questioned for the last time, face searching. 

"Night, Damon," was all she said and closing the door. 

He stepped back, hands by his side and stood in the drive way, watching her drive away until she no longer saw him in her rear-view mirror. 

\-- 

He closed the door behind him, the cold seeping into his bones as his thoughts circled. He turned, facing the main foyer where the fire place was already lit and Elena was sat with a glass of wine in her hand, face taunt. 

Caroline was beside her and Stefan stood further back pouring two drinks. His brother spared him a sympathetic look, knowing the discussion that was to come. 

He'd barely made it over before she started with, “Why did you follow her?” 

He looked at her confused because the answer was simple. “Bon was upset. I was just making sure she was al-" 

“I’m upset!” she butted in. “I’m upset too, Damon. But you wouldn’t know that because you went after her. You saw her first.” 

“She was leaving when they came in. She was closer to him and he saw her. You can understand why he would want to see what’s going on,” Caroline pointed out. 

He was thankful, because that’s how he saw it too, but... “And then he saw me when she left and he still chased her,” Elena argued. She turned to him; eyes narrowed. “You saw me and left. You didn’t even ask if I was OK or what happened,” she snapped. “This is what I’m talking about. I feel like you don’t even see me.” 

“Maybe we should go,” Stefan spoke to Caroline. “This is something you two should work out between yourselves.” 

“You leave the room or leave the house, the both of you would still hear us anyway. No, stay. I need someone else to see what I’m seeing. To hear what I’m hearing so I don’t feel like I’m making all this up,” she exclaimed. 

“Maybe you should just calm down,” Damon spoke softly as he stood before her and from the scrunched-up face Caroline made, he knew those weren’t the right words to use. 

Elena placed the wine glass down unevenly and it and its content spilled over the wooden table. She ignored it and got to her feet, pacing. 

“Calm down?” she huffed out, her short pony tail swinging behind her. “Bonnie is in love with you and you want me to calm down? My friend wants my boyfriend. You! How do you expect me to react to that?” 

“We’re just friends, Elena,” he told. “That’s it. You don’t need to worry about anything.” He glanced at Stefan, his eyes watchful and features curious. He faced Elena again, her cheeks flushed and brows hard. He stepped towards her and recalled what Bonnie said, ‘She wants to be the one you confide in everything with’. “Look, I don’t know what actually went on. Only what Bonnie just told me.” Elena scoffed at that. He stepped closer to her, halting her pacing and held her hand. “So why don’t you tell me what happened? Why are you so upset?” 

He saw the dolefulness in her eyes as she took him in. Felt the tension coming off her in waves. She was more on edge than her usual day. He'd often cracked it up to all her long shifts and being tired, but now it was obvious that it was more. A lot of pent up emotions he hadn’t picked up on. Things she hadn’t told him. 

He rubbed the back of her hand gently with his thumb and spoke, “I’m listening.” 

She nodded slightly and allowed him to lead her back to her seat. He rested on the table opposite her, away from the spilt wine and waited all while Caroline and Stefan looked awkward, clearly wanting to leave. 

“You don’t talk to me,” she started. “Not like how you talk to her. I feel like I’m being left out. Like I’m always the last to know everything. I had to find out from Caroline you were thinking about working an her school and she told me Bonnie already knew, thinking it's something you should do.” He refrained from correcting her that he first spoke about it with Ric and then Bonnie, but that wouldn’t help. “I should have known first. Me. But for some reason you didn’t see a need for me to know when I want to know things like that, Damon.” She watched him as if seeing if he was taking in her words before continuing. “We'd go on dates and you’d recommend things. It felt nice, but then I found out you knew so much because you and Bonnie have been to multiple places and tried so many things. When we talk, I feel like she’s always there somehow. You get a text and find it funny and I wouldn’t get it because it’s an inside joke and I’m just left there feeling stupid. Like I’m the one intruding and I hate it, Damon. I hate that I can’t just have you to myself. I hate that you feel like you can’t tell me things or talk to me like you can with her.” 

“Elena,” Caroline spoke up. “Everyone has a different relationship. I’m sure he tells Ric or Stefan things he doesn’t tell her.” 

Hardly, he thought and frowned to himself. He couldn’t help but almost have a need to share things with her, no matter how serious or trivial. He might not let her in on everything he was feeling, but he recognised it enough that she and Ric were his go-to and that seem to be Elena’s issue. Elena wanted to be his go-to and he had been denying her that. 

“I get that, Care. But a relationship also has friendship in there. Trust. I mean, look at you and Stefan.” 

The comment had his jaw clench as even after all this time he was still being compared. Because Stefan was always the ideal candidate. Stefan was relationship material and Damon couldn’t live up to it. Before his buried inferiority complex came creeping back in, Caroline was already speaking. 

“We’re different. We were friends first.” 

“Best friends,” Elena added, causing an awkward glance to be shared between him and Caroline. 

“Yeah,” Caroline dragged. “The point is we developed a friendship first and it grew over time, whereas you and Damon had an attraction from the beginning and got together quickly.” She looked over her shoulder then and said, “Sorry.” 

Stefan waved it off, coming closer to add, “You can’t compare what me and Caroline have. And things aren’t always great.” 

Caroline made another face that disagreed and Stefan probably did too because the two fit perfectly together. They melted well and Stefan could truly be himself that wasn’t so rehearsed or careful like he had been with Elena. He could joke around and make fun and Caroline became calmer and steadier overall knowing Stefan was there for her to lean on. 

“What I’m trying to say is our relationship was developed differently. Slowly overtime where we knew things just clicked whenever we were together. That we may not always think the same, but we saw where the other was coming from and made adjustments. Us starting the way we did gave us an added benefit because we already knew and saw each other at our worse. We were already opened, so when it developed into something more everything just flowed without much thought,” he explained and it bothered Damon because while he spoke the person that kept popping up for most of what he said often linked back to Bonnie. 

But that can be due to them having such a rocky start to teaming up most often than not, being stuck together and begrudgingly building a friendship that he was so grateful for and wouldn’t change. Their speech was sometimes blunt with no sugar coating and he felt like he could say anything, good or bad without the enormous guilt, but instead understanding of his past actions that built his character. He didn’t feel like he needed to impress her, but still valued everything she said. Whereas with Elena, he felt as if he was tip toeing around certain topics of his past or general speech because she might not understand or find it entertaining the way he did. He felt like if he spoke, she would hear, but not fully take into account what he said beyond surface level; but instead show mild disappointments and then chalk it up to him being wild and living on the edge. 

“Elena,” he caught her attention, “if you want me to open up more, I will. I just didn’t realise it was affecting you so much.” 

She sighed. “I don’t want you to open up because I’m asking you to. I want you to talk to me because you want to and lately, I don’t think you do.” She chewed on her lip. “Honestly, do you regret taking the cure? Do you not like being human?” 

He was glad Bonnie prepared him beforehand. 

“I don’t regret it, Elena. I might miss being a vampire,” he replied truthfully, “but I don’t hate being human.” 

She watched him for a long while and huffed out a humourless laugh. “You say that all while you’re twisting her ring.” 

He frowned and looked down to his fingers unconsciously on the black onyx ring Bonnie had gifted him, spelled to ensure his protection against the supernatural. He had no idea he was touching it and it had him wondering how long. 

Instead of dwelling on its meaning, his response was, “A habit. I wore another ring a long time before. It’s hard to break.” Pause. “Do you want me to take it off?” His heart picked up a bit, not quite sure even if she answered ‘yes’ that he would oblige. Not only was it his protection, but also a gift made specifically with him in mind. There was a level of sentiment there that he hadn’t realised before. “Are you going to ask Blondie to take off her daylight ring too? Bonnie made that as well.” She didn’t respond and he was happy for that. Clasping his hand, he went on with, “I’ll be better, all right?” 

“Would you stop talking to her?” 

He stopped blinking while Caroline's mouth parted, as shocked as he was apparently. The thought of not speaking to Bonnie was hard to conceive. Even when she was away for six months, to get away from them – from him, he had still spoken to her. Not as much as he would have liked, but even then, was difficult to not have his best friend around. 

“You can’t ask that of anyone, Elena,” Stefan said. 

“Why not? If he loves me, he would.” 

“Love isn’t about ultimatums. It’s not just to please one person even if it makes the other upset. And asking him to do this is not the right way to go about it.” 

“Right,” Caroline agreed. “Remember when we all warned you off Damon? Look how that turned out. You thought we were all bitter, even though we had a good reason at the time. Telling you to stay away just brought you closer. You can’t ask someone to cut off their best friend. Like it or not, that’s what they are and I honestly think it’s for the best for the both of them.” 

“Well I’m not asking you. Either of you,” she snapped. “I’m asking him,” she met his eyes. “Would you?” 

He was feeling pressured and surprisingly, angry. Why is it she could have everything she wanted but he couldn’t even have a friend that honestly made his day better? It wasn’t fair that she was using his love for her to get what she wanted. Where he would normally compromise, this time he found he couldn’t even entertain the idea. 

“Would you quit your job?” he back fired. She looked confused. “The truth is we don’t speak as much because we hardly have time together. Time to make those inside jokes and go to all these places and have conversations that don’t always make sense, but it's funny. You can’t ask me to cut a big part out of my life if you wouldn’t do the same and I’m not asking you to either. Elena, my life is my own. I’m only just learning that. I want you in it, but I also want other people there too. I need things and people around me that makes me happy. If I start getting rid of them all, then what will I have?” 

“Me, Damon. You’d have me.” 

He was resisting the urge to say, 'that’s not enough', but just shook his head. “I’ve been alive long enough to know you need a family around you to make life worth living. I love you, Elena. But I won’t give her up, like I wouldn’t Stefan or Ric. Like I wouldn’t want to give you up.” 

Wouldn’t 'want' to. Not 'won’t', the thought crept in. 

He sighed heavily and said, “I promise to give you more attention. All my attention,” –When you’re around. He shook the thought away. “We just need to work on it together. If something is bothering you, tell me. I can't compel it out of you. You do that and I’ll work on it too.” He reached for her hand, held it and said, “I love you. You know that, right?” 

Her brown gaze darted back and forth, clearly under stress. She nodded slowly before standing and dismissing herself, leaving the room with her footsteps soon ascending the stairs. 

“You didn’t answer her first question,” Caroline announced. “Bonnie has feelings for you,” she clarified, having him sit straighter. “You acted like she didn’t say it. You didn’t even blink or seemed shocked. Not in here. Not out there when you two were talking. I’m guessing it’s because you already knew that, right?” 

He didn’t answer overtly. Just stared at her blankly and said, “Leave it alone.” 

“Did you figure it out or did she tell you?” 

“Why would any of it matter?” 

“Because you have the power to ruin both of my best friends. What makes it worse is that you actually care and don’t know what to do. Especially when you’re in love with her too.” 

That got his features to change. He felt stunned by her assumption. It wasn’t that he loved Bonnie, which he did. But that he was in love with her that got him because it couldn’t be true. He knew what being in love felt like. The passion, the longing, the consumption. That was his language. What he felt for Bonnie wasn’t that. 

“You might not see it, but we do. The both of you. Elena’s not blind. She sees it too and that’s why she’s so worked up. She’s scared of what you and Bonnie have because it's something you and her don’t have. You and Bonnie have this chemistry that just works.” 

“She’s right, Damon,” Stefan agreed. 

“Look, all I’m saying is that we don’t need another love triangle. Figure it out before you’re all hurt.” 

“And I can’t have them both? Have the girl and have my best friend?” 

“You could, if you weren’t wondering ‘what if?’. I’m not trying to confuse you.” 

“Well you’re doing a bad job, Blondie.” 

“I’m just trying to widen your perspective.” 

“I’m in love with Elena,” he told, posture straight with a tone of defiance. “She’s who I want. Who I almost ruined my relationship for,” he referred to Stefan. “I want to be with her.” 

Caroline watched him with contemplation before saying, “Then show her that,” and stood. “You have to split your time that works not just for them, but you too.” 

With that, she gathered her thing, said ‘Night’ and walked towards the stairs. Stefan strolled forward, glass in hand filled with bourbon and passed it to Damon. He touched his shoulder and repeated the words he didn’t expect. 

“Not all love is true love.” 

Before following where his wife had gone, leaving Damon to his thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amount of gaslighting going on...damn, I almost feel a little bad for Elena. Let me know what you guys think!  
> K.


	6. Chapter 6

The soft music filling the space of the Founders Hall, Bonnie swiped a champagne glass from the server's tray and sipped. Light chatter and a pleasant face, Bonnie turned when a hand snaked around her waist. 

She was surprised, pleasantly so as she was in need of a distraction as bad as it sounded. And he was always a welcomed one. “Enzo,” she breathed out with a smile. “What are you doing here?” 

“Well, my dear, I came to collect,” he spoke close to her ear, his hand now resting at the small of her back. 

“I was expecting you tomorrow,” she raised a brow. “Don’t know why you bothered travelling all this way though. Could have just mailed you everything.” 

“You could have, but then what excuse would I have to see you?” 

“Do you need one?” 

“No,” he smiled. “But it helps.” He moved his hand from her back and caught her arm, trailing down until her hand fit in his. He raised it and planted a soft kiss to her knuckles. “You look gorgeous, per usual.” The charm was flowing off him as he stood before her looking dapper in his black suit, white collared shirt and burgundy tie. Dark hair styled back, he looked classic from top to bottom. 

“Why thank you, kind sir,” she matched his old-fashioned tone and even dipping in a slight curtsy. He chuckled and proceeded to play with a strand of her straightened Ombre hair. Fringe on her forehead, she was filled with humour as she asked, “Curious, are we?” 

“It's a different look,” he simply stated. “Can’t I appreciate?” 

“Hey, appreciate away. I’m not complaining,” she waved off and took another sip. “I’m actually glad you’re here. And out of politeness, you definitely know how to make a suit look good.” 

“I’m flattered, Miss Bennett. Now, shall we go gallivant around and socialise?” he linked her arm to his. “Now what’s the event for this time?” 

“Opening a recovery centre of veterans, though at this point we all know the founding families just like to throw lavish parties. Keeps themselves busy when there’s no supernatural action going on. Not like they helped much to begin with, but, hey, to each their own.” 

“High societies tend to like being perceived as more important than they actually are. Helps to maintain their hierarchy and fragile egos,” Enzo chimed. 

She nodded and said, “Nothin' new. Nothin' change. Same old shit,” exaggeratedly. He met her eye, lips quirked up. She chuckled to herself and shook her head knowing the meme flew right over his head as they usually did. Damon would ha-, she cut the thought off and just appreciated that Enzo often went along, finding humour in how much she enjoyed a good meme. 

They finished their champagnes, her mood lifted from boredom to feelings like she was now able to enjoy herself a little more. Chit chatting with donors and their partners and friends. Getting information and keeping some locked away for safe keeping just in case it could come in handy in the future of the more prevalent members. They smile and gave polite opinions with a hint of sarcasm sprinkled in to keep things interesting. Enzo would be the perfect gentleman, having some of the women swoon, but his close proximity to her probably gave off the wrong image. Still, she enjoyed his closeness. 

Soon their drinks were empty and he was leading her to the opened dance floor where a few were already swaying to the music and a young woman’s soft voice. She followed him and allowed him to wrap his arm around her as he brought her close, chest to chest. One hand in his and another on his shoulder, she looked up at him feeling relaxed. 

She followed his lead as they dance, allowing him to twirl and dip her. She giggled as it brought her back to the past of how they had been. Despite the constant fear of being found, Enzo had created a semblance of calm, especially with her powers on the fritz during that time from the suppressant pills. She had to depend on him. For the first time, she willingly placed her safety in another’s hands and he had been so good to her. They had been so good and she wanted nothing more than to go back to those good times. To just love him like he did her. 

She didn’t need any more hints that it was true. The way he held her and looked at her and spoke with her screamed it to the point if being deafening. And because of this she felt this heavy weight of guilt. She couldn’t control how he felt, but she could control her reaction to it. And maybe she had been too keen to accept all his affection despite her already knowing he knew where they both stood. Yet, she knew his feelings were being manipulated...played with. She felt like utter shit for it, but his attention was fulfilling when she felt lonely. He'd quench her thirst for a while, but not for long. And in those moments were she could think clearly, the word ‘hypocrite’ flashed before her eyes because the old her looked down at the behaviours she was participating in. 

Maybe I just need to move away altogether? To be in a fresh new environment where she can rebuild. Her online home-remedy business was portable and not much was actually keeping her in Mystic Falls besides familiarity. The familiarity of the town and the people. 

“A lot on your mind, love?” 

She chewed her cheek, meeting his eye. “Are you OK? I mean, with how things are between us. Are you OK with it?” 

“If it’s how you’ll have me, I’m fine with it.” 

She frowned at that as they continued to sway. “I feel like I’m-,” she stopped to rephrase, “I’m using you. I’m taking advantage. You’re too good to me, Enzo. You shouldn’t be fine with it. You should be angry. You shouldn’t let me use you. It’s not fair for you and you deserve better.” 

“Bonnie, I’m old enough to know the situation and how to handle it. I know where I stand. Of course, I’d love for things to go back to the way they were where I was the one you wanted, but that’s not happening. I love you, Bonnie. You know I love you, but you need to be happy too. And if this little thing between us is making you happy, even for a short while, use me. I’m ok with it.” His explanation was a sad and deep one as if he was indebted to her and she didn’t like it. It must have been clear on her face because he added, “If it helps, I’ve been seeing other people.” 

She made an ‘O' with her mouth, curious. He chuckled and said, “A surprise, I know. But it’s true. Been on a few dates. I know I can appear like I’m not moving on, and it is hard to move on from you, but to be honest, I just like being around you, Bonnie. Friend, lover, it doesn’t matter. You’ll always mean something to me and right now I’m just happy to be here dancing with you.” 

“Yup. Definitely too good to me,” she renounced, though more playful than dire. 

His response was to hold her closer with a handsome smile. “And always will be for as long as you allow.” He leaned down to kiss her forehead, ever the gentlemen. “So, let’s continue to have a good night, shall we?” Just then the music picked up to something remotely more fun. His smile broadened and she knew they still had a couple more rounds in them. 

\-- 

She was halfway putting a mini quiche to her mouth when someone called. She turned, seeing Caroline coming towards her in a rose gold, lace dress that had a plunge and stopped above her knee. Its hugged her figure while her curly blonde locks bounced with each step as she pulled Stefan along in his navy suit and matching rose gold tie that Caroline probably picked out. 

Bonnie placed the snack on the plate, quickly wiped her hand and stood just as Caroline enveloped her in a hug. “When did you get here?” 

“An hour and a half ago,” Bonnie answered. They parted and she gave Stefan a quick hug too. “You guys sure took your time.” 

“Sorry, something came up with the refurbishment company. Definitely thinking about switching altogether. So unprofessional.” Caroline huffed, clearly irate, but then smiled as she took Bonnie in. “You look smoking, by the way,” referring to her navy dress with white detailing at the hem below her knee in a pencil shape and trailing along the top, curving down into a plunge. Thin straps, the entire dress seemed moulded to her body as she stood in an opened toe strapped heel, nails painted white. “Don’t think I’ve ever seen this before.” 

“Its new,” Bonnie waved off. “Haven’t had an occasion to wear it.” She smiled between them as she said, “And you two look like a power couple. Definitely knock everyone else here out by a landslide.” 

“Most people here are old,” Caroline chuckled. 

“Yeah, well, so is your husband,” Bonnie teased with mischief. 

Stefan dramatically put a hand to his chest. “Ouch. What have I ever done to you, Bonnie?” 

Caroline hit her playfully as they all laughed amongst themselves. It died the moment she saw a short-wrapped silver sequinned dress. Hair pulled back in an up-do, Elena was walking over with her arms linked with Damon’s. Black suit and a black dress shirt with his top buttons undone, light stubble casted across his jaw. The pair of them were gorgeous. 

Bonnie made an audible disinterested sound. Caroline didn’t need to look behind to know as they most likely came together. “Be nice,” she told. 

“I’m always nice, right Stefan?” He made a face as if in thought. “Woooow. I see how it is,” she joked and he snorted with humour. 

The mood, however, changed the minute the pair joined and Bonnie hated it. Things were fine before. Good enough, anyway. But then shit got awkward. And despite Bonnie already feeling what Elena assumed, something she stumbled upon, Bonnie was more irritated that Elena thought Bonnie wanted to actively take him. She also didn’t understand why she was so insistent on having Bonnie admit it, because what good would that do? 

She clearly thought Damon swaying and moving to Bonnie was out of the question, an insult and blow to Bonnie’s ego, so the whole thing...the whole conversation was pointless if nothing was coming from it. She even had it in her right mind to cuss her out again when Caroline informed her of Elena’s ultimatum. 

They haven’t spoken in two and a half weeks. It was also notable that Damon’s interaction with Bonnie had also dwindled, only having hung out three times. The texting wasn’t so bad and the phone calls had taken a hit, but it all seemed to be when Elena wasn’t around, having Bonnie feel like a dirty little secret. 

Why am I sneaking around to see my own friend? 

She wanted to be annoyed at him for conforming to some extent to Elena’s wished, but that was just Damon. Ever the pleaser when it came to Elena, but at least she felt better knowing he had stuck up for her. That he hadn’t cut her out completely. It was a change. It was a start. 

An awkward silence fell over them. Bonnie wanted to be petty and just dwell within it, but a single pleading look from Caroline had her say, “Hi.” 

Elena smiled, though strained and replied with a soft, “Hey, Bonnie.” 

She glanced at Damon, wanting to say something, anything, but her mind was blank. It annoyed her that now her every move around him was being watched with Elena next to him. It felt like how it did when she had first confessed. Of the first few weeks where Damon seemed to be walking on egg shells around her, not knowing how to act without giving the wrong idea. Now she was feeling the same way again with the others too. Watching what she said and how she said it. Monitoring her actions. It was stifling any natural conversation, and for that she just wanted to leave. 

Lucky for her, Enzo was ever the best distraction. He slid beside her, handing her a glass of something dark. “Sorry to disturb, but I need to borrow Bonnie.” 

“Enzo, what are you doing here?” Caroline wondered; brows lifted. 

“Didn’t know you were in town,” Damon spoke for the first time since arriving. 

“A surprise visit.” 

“Are you two back together?” Elena’s question had her internally roll her eyes. Was she really that scared I was going to go after Damon that she’d rather me have someone as a precaution? 

The question even had Caroline look to their friend as if her line of thought were the same as Bonnie’s, while Damon’s blue eyes kept dancing between her and Enzo. 

“If only.” He looked to her then to say, “Shall we go?” She nodded and allowed his hand to fall to the small of her back as he guided her away. When they had entered another room, he said, “Looked like you needed an escape.” 

She snorted. “You have no idea.” 

“Want to talk about it?” 

“Not now,” she shook her head, no longer in the mood to consort with anyone else at the event. “Want to head out?” 

He didn’t miss a beat to comply, even suggesting to get dinner at one of the finer restaurants in town. Hand held out, she placed hers in his and left. 

\- 

It was much later in the evening two days later when Enzo pulled up outside her house. He took her hand and kissed it, wishing her a good night before she waved him off as he drove back to the city. She entered her home, small bag in hand with clothes and put it in the laundry room. 

Taking a quick shower, she slipped into an oversized shirt that almost covered her night shorts. Taking the bread from the toaster and smothering it with chocolate spread, the doorbell went off mid chew. She pattered across her wooden floor, snack still in hand and opened the door. She left it opened and went back to the kitchen to sit around the island. Stirring the hot tea, she paused the Netflix of her laptop as Damon stood by the entrance way, leaning against the frame. 

“Are you just going to stand there?” 

“Where were you?” he asked, face flat. 

She looked at him confused. “I already told you out of town.” 

“Yeah, where?” 

“Why does it matter?” 

“What if something happened, Bon? I’d want to know where you are.” 

“And do what? What could you have done if something was to happen?” He frowned, face tight. She knew how that could have sounded to him as if somehow calling him useless now, but that’s not what she meant. She sighed and said, “You know what I mean. I was just out of town. There was no danger. No nothing. If something was to happen, I’d let you know. Is it such a shock for me to just have a little break?” 

“I thought you were planning on skipping town.” 

“I wasn’t leaving.” 

“But you would,” he assumed. Her lips parted knowing the thought had been crossing her mind of late. He saw this and nodded to himself. “You and Enzo,” he started. “Were you with him?” 

“Yeah,” she said in a tone of ‘So what?’. 

“I thought you were done.” 

“We are.” 

“You know what I mean,” his lips were turned down. “If you want to keep playing with his feeling-" 

“Let’s not go there, Damon,” she jumped in. “Enzo’s fine. We’ve spoken about where we stand a couple of times and still, he insists he’s all right with how things are between us.” 

“And you believe him?” he asked dumbfounded. 

“Not completely.” 

“Then why?” 

“Why not?” she huffed, placing her late snack onto the plate. She shook her head and looked away from him. “He makes me feel better and I do the same to him. What’s wrong with that?” 

“Because he wants more and you know it. It’s not right or fair.” 

She scoffed at that and muttered to herself, “You’re one to talk.” 

“What?” 

“Nothing,” she huffed. “Look, did you come to lecture me? Because if you did, just leave. I’m sure Elena wouldn't be too pleased to know you’re here.” 

“Don’t do that, Bon.” 

“So, she does know?” She watched him as he returned her hard stare, though his lack of response spoke volume. “Of course,” she spoke sarcastically. “You know, if there’s one thing I could change, it would be falling for someone I can’t have. Because honestly, Damon, being in love with you fucking sucks. I had, hell, I have someone who wants to be with me and I can’t just love him back because of you. My friendship has taken a turn because she thinks I want to take you away, like that’s something I’d go out of my way to do when I’m actually trying to stop feeling anything.” 

She exhaled deeply. Everything in her was just flowing out and she wasn’t stopping.

“I feel like an absolute idiot. I should’ve done something earlier to stop them, but the more we became friends, the deeper all this shit got. I literally tried to run away from them, but it didn’t last long because when I’m with you I feel like I can’t breathe, but somehow, I’m the most relaxed. And that was before you took the cure. At least back then your vamperism was a factor. I wouldn’t turn, love or not. But now,” her hand gestured to him as if defeated. “Now you’re so human and I don’t blame Elena for wanting to have that with you. You’re the person I want to talk to the most. You’re the person I want to see. You’re the person I keep comparing people to. And before...before I could just be around you. Only we had to know about how I felt, but now eyes are on me and I can't even fucking say ‘hi’ to you or hang out without people thinking it's something more.” 

Damon’s face was slack as he listened, his blue eyes and black hair were so prominent. She wanted to touch him. To have him hold her in a way that said he felt everything back, but she knew better than to fantasise. 

“Look, can you just go?” 

“I’m not going anywhere, Bon.” 

She closed her eyes momentarily, too tired to even respond. Instead she stood, took her tea and went to bed, leaving him alone in the kitchen. 

\-- 

He sat for a long while, her words playing over and over in his head. She looked somewhat broken and he was at fault for it, deserved or not. 

He was a hypocrite for saying what she was doing with Enzo wasn’t right because he has had more than his fair share selfish moments. Actively pursuing Elena when Stefan was with and still had feelings for her were the most prominent. But then there was staying around Bonnie when he should have been distant or at least created some boundaries. He should know when feelings were involved things tended to get fucked, but he didn’t care because being around Bonnie gave him a different type of energy. He felt lighter and scarily, more seen. She saw him for who he was, who he is and could be. 

‘She loved me, but she wished she hadn’t.’ The thought hurt more than it should. It felt like his heart was breaking to see her feel so caged in and vulnerable and even more when he could clearly see she thought she wasn’t good enough. The feeling of being unwanted is something he knew intimately and he hated that she was experiencing the same, even when he tried to do the very opposite. 

He understood what she was doing with Enzo. A coping mechanism. A release. An escape. And that’s what she’d done. Escaped for a couple of days. The timing wasn’t a surprise. After the argument and the restrictions he tried to put in place to somewhat please both of the women he cared for; and then seeing them at the event with Elena’s sly comment being thrown out, it was a good enough reason to want some time away. 

She had told him. Texted that she’d be out of town and wouldn’t be using her phone often and he took note that she never specified her return. It had him on edge. Had him stopping by hers, just waiting to see a light on. And though Bonnie was focused on Elena’s approval of him and his whereabouts, Damon was more concerned about Bonnie herself. Elena didn’t need to know where he was, but if she asked, he wouldn’t lie about it either. If she had asked when he left, he would have spoken the truth and kept on moving. 

Damon sighed and ran a hand over his face. Phone on the table lighting up from a text Alaric had just sent, Damon stood and left the kitchen. Walking up the stairs, he entered her room, seeing her form wrapped up in a duvet with her back to the door. 

He kicked off his shoes and shrugged his coat off. Moments later he was slipping into her bed, covers over him too. Lying beside her, he hesitantly reached over and hugged her waist, bringing her warm body closer to his. She wasn’t sleeping, as expected, but nevertheless he cuddled her, breathing in her cocoa butter scent as her lamp light casted a warm glow in her room. 

They stayed like that for a while. Him holding her. Her allowing it. It felt different from all the other times he’s held her. More intimate. Deeper. 

“I don’t want you to feel unwanted, Bon,” he started, voice low and steady. “I don’t want you to feel like an idiot because that’s far from the truth. I should have put a distance between us when you told me, but I didn’t want to because I need you. I need you, Bonnie. I don’t think you understand how much you mean to me. When I’m with you it’s so easy. I don’t need to think. I don’t need to worry. You let me be me. After all these years, I’m just finally beginning to know what that is.” 

His palms were feeling sweaty and his heart pattered a little faster. Despite him being calm around Bonnie, there were undeniable moments where she made him nervous that had his stomach flip. Moment where he'd just be looking at her and seeing the beauty of her and the woman she was. Of all that she’s been through and dealt with. Of how far they’ve come. He’s come to know acceptance because of her. She’s made him rethink and is always looking out for him in a way not many have. She had somehow become his most stable point without all the unhealthy feelings of life or death or general toxicity. She was a breath of fresh air he didn’t know he needed, yet never questioned. 

“I love you,” he breathed, holding her tighter when feeling her tense. “You need to know that I do love you. You deserve happiness and I want that for you. I want you to feel loved as much as you love. I want you to be as happy as you make everyone else. I want things to be easy for you.” He breathed out a long breath. “I don’t want to make thing harder for you, so whatever you want do, I’ll respect it because I love you, Bonnie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're still reading this...why? Haha. Thank you for all your comments and kudos despite this thing being all over the place. Appreciate it loads, you have no idea!   
> Planning on taking a weird little switcheroo magic thingy route next chapter, so if you're blind-sighted and thinking 'wtf' and 'was that needed?', yeah, I'm sorry I don't thoroughly plan. :-)   
> K.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this and the next two chapters-ish have a bit of an added length to them than the usual. Was in that awkward stage where I know I should split them, but didn't. This is also basically just past the halfway point of this fic. Handful of chapters left. Yay.  
> Hope you enjoy!  
> K.

Damon mouthed the words to Whatta Man as he worked his way around the kitchen in low hanging pyjama bottoms. Hair still damp from his shower, he focused on preparing the breakfast before him, his mood relaxed as he worked, occasionally moving his hips to the beat. 

Meal served onto the plates and placed down on the table, he was just pouring the orange juice when he heard quick steps and then saw Bonnie coming around the corner looking flustered, yet relieved. 

“You OK, Bon?” he raised a brow at her sudden arrival. 

She hadn’t come over willingly since her and Elena’s argument. If she did, it was due to his request with a lot of bribing. Her and Elena were still a little rocky, but they did engage in minor small talk when around each other; something that brought him some relief, preferring immensely everyone being on speaking terms. 

“Thank God,” she spoke bright eyed and rushed to him. 

He had no time to ask her why she was acting odd because she reached for his face and kissed him without hesitation, her body leaning into his. He gasped. He was so stunned that his whole body tensed under her touch, at the feel of her soft lips, at the sudden spike in his chest that he was sure his heart was malfunctioning from the feeling and utter confusion. 

He took her wrist in his hold and held them in his hands as he disconnected her lips from his. Eyes wide with shock, his chest was suddenly rising and falling quicker at the random outburst. What is she doing? he practically shouted in his mind. 

She looked at him bewildered, as if she was confused by his action. Her mouth parting to speak but stopped to turn towards further down the kitchen where the other entrance was. There stood Elena, hair still wet while wearing nothing but one of his black shirts that hung on her body. 

“It's not what you think,” he immediately spoke, dropping Bonnie’s wrist and stepping away. 

Tears were already welling in her eyes, but he could see she was fighting to keep them back as her face flushed red. Hands balled, she stood looking between the two, betrayal clear. “Still think I’m crazy?” her voice cracked before she turned and rushed out of the room. 

“Elena!” he yelled after her. He started to take a step to follow her, but stopped to look back at Bonnie. “What the hell was that?” If it was possible, she looked more perplexed than he felt, her brows drawn together as she looked from him to where Elena had gone. “Bonnie?” he called, trying to focus her attention. 

She uttered words to herself, but he didn’t catch it. His heart hammering at being caught in the middle of something unexpected, he turned to leave but a hand grabbing his stopped him. 

Looking into her worried green eyes, she said, “I need your help.” 

“Bonnie, look, I really don’t have time for whatever has gotten into you, but-" 

“Damon, listen,” she snapped, a faint dread in her tone. “I’m not your Bonnie.” 

\- 

She began to stirred, her skin tingling as hands caressed the inner length of her leg as a warm mouth trailed kisses along her neck and sucked. The feeling was good, getting her all hot and bothered, but the dream was something that seemed to manifest outside of her mind. As her consciousness was becoming clear, the touch wasn’t fading as she’d expect. Instead it became more present and rooted. 

A body was next to her, pressed to her side. The stranger's hand on her skin and kisses now butterflying across her shoulder and clavicle. Her heart spiked at the realisation of someone doing this to her when she was sure she didn’t return home with anyone. 

“I know you’re awake,” a familiar voice chuckled, slightly huskier as if just woken up himself. 

Her eyes snapped opened instantly. She shot up, scrambling away across the large bed. Knowing she was naked, her hand kept grip of the sheet as she got out of the bed, tripping over her feet as she hastily tried to wrap herself up. Blood was rushing in her ear and a pounding thumped in her head. 

A chuckle met her, her head finding its owner immediately and just as fast looked away seeing his naked form, brow raised and blue eyes lit with amusement. 

“Not the reaction I usually get, but I thought the kisses were sweet. More romantic than my preferred way to use my mouth, or so you say.” His words were making her heat up with embarrassment. Whys he saying that? “That reaction was cute though,” he told. 

From her peripheral vision she could see him cross the bed from where she was and stood. She stepped back. “I-I don’t know what happened last night. I don’t even remember coming here, but it was a mistake,” she hurried out, eyes scanning the floor in search of her clothes and purposely away from him. 

“What are you talking about?” he laughed easily. 

“Look, I’ve got to go before Elena catches us and-" 

“Elena?” he repeated with a bafflement in his voice. “What does Elena have to do wit-" 

“Where are my clothes?” she interrupted. This is bad. This is really bad, she spoke over and over in her mind. 

“Real funny, Bon.” 

“Damon!” she huffed out, a panicked clear in her tone. With a light soreness between her legs, she wasn’t oblivious to what occurred between them last night even though she had no recollection. A sudden dread filled her, her head snapping up at Damon who was looking at her unsure. He...he wouldn’t take advantage of me, she stated to herself, hating herself for her conviction slightly slipping when her mind was so confused. With a steady breath she asked, “Where are my clothes?” making sure her eyes stayed trained to his face. 

“Have to say, Bon, you’re kinda freaking me out right now. What’s wrong?” 

She found herself scoffing. “What’s wrong? Damon, we-we slept together and I don’t know how or why! We did something bad, Damon. Why are you so calm? What about Elena? I know me and her aren’t on the best terms, but I would never do this to her and you definitely wouldn’t do anything to-" 

“Whoa there,” he held his hand up to stop her rambling. Taking a step forward, she matched it with a step back. He frowned at this. “Ok then...” he spoke to himself. “I don’t know if you’ve knocked your head one too many times on that headboard or your magic has finally fried your brain, but you’re not making any sense,” he told. “First of, why are you mentioning Elena? And second, since when is having sex with me a bad thing? We’ve been doing it long enough. Don’t tell me you’ve finally come to your senses and want to kick me to the curb, because I thought we were going strong.” The tone in his voice was calm, a little teasing, yet sincere. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“I could ask you the same.” His eyes were becoming more serious now as if finally figuring something was up. “What’s wrong?” 

She was breathing so hard a panic was settling in. Needing to get away, she turned to leave and crossed the room, about to reach the door when Damon was suddenly before her. Her eyes widened with utter surprise as her mouth hung in shock. She dumbly glanced back to where he had been and back to where he was before her, confusion clear in his blue eyes as he looked down at her. 

“How...How did you just...?” Her words were failing her. That shouldn’t be possible! What the hell is going on? 

“Are you hallucinating or something? Did you smoke some of those herbs of yours?” 

She stepped back, gripping the sheet around her tighter and it was then she felt something. Glancing down, her eyes almost fell out of her head. On her finger was a stunning wedding ring. As if that was the drench of cold water she needed, everything else began to filter in. One being the braids she had in her hair that she just took notice off, then the fact that Damon was clean shaven when she was sure he had stubble the previous night, while his hair was longer. And then she spotted the dresser close by. 

She rushed over and grabbed the photo, staring at it in disbelief. It was a picture of her with Damon behind, his arms wrapped around her with too much familiarity as they both smiled brightly. The picture looking somewhat candid, it wasn’t the only one displayed. 

Placing the frame down, she glanced back at Damon's face, her heart skittering, took a deep breath and said, “I’m not who you think I am.” 

\- 

Glass of bourbon in hand, he took a sip and sighed. Turning, he walked over to Elena where she was stood in the middle of the room, arms wrapped around herself, face still set hard, understandably. He reached to stroke her arm, but she shrugged him off. His jaw clenched and dropped his hand. 

Turning to look at Bonnie, she had a shadow of contentment, having just seen his interaction with Elena. He was shocked to see the open display of emotion on her face that was meant to be read. He was so used to her hiding how she felt, that it was somewhat jarring to see it openly for others to also decipher. 

“Could you hurry this up and tell me why you were kissing my boyfriend?” 

“First off, don’t talk to me like that. That shit isn’t going to fly. And secondly, like I’m sure Damon already told you after all that shouting I overheard, I’m not the Bonnie you know.” 

“How?” Elena huffed, irritation radiating out. “How is that possible?” 

“I stopped wondering how things were possible a long time ago and just went with the flow to work it out. And that’s what’s happening now,” Bonnie answered. “I don’t know how or why, but somehow I’m in the wrong reality. So, I’m assuming that because I'm here, your Bonnie is in mine, probably just as confused.” 

He watched her run her hand over her hair and then twirled a strand of curly ombre between her fingers. Snapping out of it, she strolled to the table and made herself a drink while saying, “Been a ghost, an anchor; was in a prison world, yet I’ve got to say, this one is pretty strange.” 

Damon frowned at that. “Wait. You’ve been through the same things as my Bonnie.” He saw Elena looking at him from the corner of his eye and he resisted the urge to clench his jaw at his choice words, but continued nevertheless. “Bonnie’s done all that. Aren’t realities supposed to be different?” 

“Oh, they are,” she answered and set her glass down as she said, “Clearly,” when looking between him and Elena with annoyance. 

“I’m guessing feeling like kissing my boyfriend is one,” Elena snarled, her brown eyes not hiding her irritation. 

Bonnie regarded her somewhat coldly and shook her head to say, “Still thinking people belong to you, I see.” She chuckled to herself and walked towards them, her eyes searching both their faces until she focused on him, her gaze steady as she looked him up and down his now fully clothed form. "Something's off," he heard her murmur. Her eyes narrowing, she grabbed his arm with a swift spell leaving the lips he could still feel until she let go mere seconds later. 

“You’re human for one,” she announced. “Why?” 

“For me,” Elena was the one who answered. 

“For...you?” she recounted. Meeting Damon’s eyes, she asked, “You did it for her and not yourself? How does that make sense? Being a vampire is a big part of who you are. How can you just get rid of it when you love it so much?” 

“Being a vampire isn’t who he is. It was just something that was a part of him.” 

“You talk about it like he got rid of a diseased. Vamperism, at least for the Damon I know, built his character and what made him, well, him, good or bad. It’s what keeps him safe and what he uses to protect the rest of us. It’s a form of expression, intertwined with his entire being and has been for close to two centuries and he just gave it up?” she spoke with disbelief. Meeting his gaze, she added, “Well, I just hope you did it because it something that you actually wanted, that you considered and didn’t just take the cure on a whim.” 

“I’m guessing I’m still a vampire in your reality?” 

“You are,” she smiled warmly at him, though there was something else hidden within her eyes. Like seeing him in a different light. A delicate light. A mortal light. It was bringing up feelings only Bonnie could; having him consider his decisions, because even this Bonnie only cared about whether or not his choice was purely best for him and not to salvage a relationship. 

She walked back to the table then, taking the glass and sipped. “Oh, and I wasn’t kissing your boyfriend. I was kissing who I thought to be my husband.” 

If gravity had a second field, it felt like it just slammed him further into the earth and buried him deep within the core. Husband? Bonnie’s my... 

“Your...Your,” Elena sounded shell shocked. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean exactly that. Damon and I are married,” she easily told. “That ring he’s wearing is oddly similar to the one I gave him. I can feel my magic from here coming off it, though obviously it’s on the wrong finger.” Tilting her head, she asked, “What spell did your me put on it?” 

“Protection,” he found himself answering in his shocked state. “You made it so the cure wouldn’t be drained from me if I was attacked and also brings be back if I’m killed by anyone supernatural.” 

“Gilbert ring 2.0,” she repeated the exact words he had spoken to his Bonnie. “I’m assuming we’re still at least friends in this reality. Make sense why I’d want to protect you.” 

Elena huffed, her fingers raking through her hair. “How do you get back?” 

“If I already knew, do you think I’ll be wasting my time here in a reality where my husband is still with his ex? I only came over because I woke up in my old house instead of here. My phone isn't my own and I can't get into it anyway because I only use passwords. So, I thought here would be the best place to go and figure out what the hell is going on.” Damon could hear the frustration building. “And now I guess I’ll be going. Maybe I can find something in my grimoire that could explain this.” 

She eased off the table, gulped the last of her drink and walked away, heading for the large front door. 

“Bonnie, wait,” he called after her. She looked back at him, waiting for him to speak. “You’re gonna need some help.” 

“She's fine, Damon,” Elena cut in, her arms crossed. 

He looked at his girlfriend in disbelief. She was angry. Practically seething, and he could understand why to a certain extent, but the situation was above that. Their Bonnie was stuck in another reality. If he wanted to get her back, helping this Bonnie would be his best bet. 

“Bonnie’s stuck, Elena. We need to get her back.” 

Why did he even need to justify this? he thought. Looking down her, her eyes met his, hard as if showing reluctance. He was almost sure her lips mouthed the words ‘why?’ to herself, but locked her jaw and gritted her teeth. He reached for her arm and squeezed gently. “Elena,” his tone was almost pleading, which in itself was ridiculous. The action that needed to be taken was a simple one. What was there to need to be considered? 

With a dragged-out breath, she nodded. “I’ll let Caroline know what’s going on. Maybe she can find something too that could help.” 

He nodded; glad she was looking beyond herself. She stepped to him, her hands holding his neck and kissed him with her body flattened against his. She parted, their lips a breath away as she hovered there, her lashes fluttering up to meet his eye. 

“I’ll see you soon,” she spoke between them and kissed him again before walking away, sparing a sharp glance in Bonnie's direction before she was gone. 

He looked up at Bonnie, her body rigid as she stared after where Elena had gone. Exhaling sharply, she said, “C'mon if you’re helping,” and continued forth. 

\- 

“What do you remember before you woke up?” 

Damon was handing her steaming cup of tea, after adding honey thoughtlessly in a way she usually did her own when home. It was as if it was something he was used to doing. 

The heat seeping into her palms, she blew and took a sip that was calming her original dysphoria. “I was in my house after a Thanksgiving get together at the Grill. Next thing I know, I’m waking up next to you.” 

“I’d count that as a win,” he smirked. “Not many women are lucky to have the opportunity.” 

“With your record, I find that hard to believe,” she replied easily. 

Damon chuckled to himself, his eyes bright with amusement as he said, “Well, I guess some things don’t change, no matter what reality.” The comment had her smile. “I just got a couple questions. From your panic, I’m assuming we’re not together in your reality, right?” She nod her head. “Okay, why not?” 

She felt her heart sink a little, the familiar feeling of being unwanted and somewhat not good enough settling in. “Because you’re with Elena and you don’t see me like that. We’re just friends.” 

“Best friends?” he wondered. She nodded again. “Then how could I n-“ He shook his head as if unbelieving. “Fine. Why did you seem surprised when I vamp sped? Please don’t tell me someone forced the damn cure down my throat,” he spoke with humour. 

“Not exactly,” she started. “You took it.” 

“I what!” he exclaimed, his eyes widening. “Why the hell would I do that?’ 

She took him in, seeing how confused he was seemingly at his own actions. “To be with Elena. You two are together. You’re in love with her. And let’s not forget that you can be quite impulsive even when the situation is detrimental to you.” 

“Sounds like you weren’t on board with the idea.” 

“You did it randomly when you went on a double date. You didn’t even tell me. You then avoided me for two weeks.” 

“Probably because I knew I fucked up and didn’t want to face you because you’d make me admit it and then regret everything for not thinking it through. You have a habit of doing that, ya'know.” 

His words held weight, but she never wanted Damon to feel bad for his decision. All she wanted was to make sure he was happy with the choice he made and that it was for himself. She’s told him that enough in various ways. 

“You said that I didn’t see you like that. Doesn’t that mean you do...or did?” He was watching her earnestly, his posture patient as he sat beside her, thankfully fully clothed. 

She swallowed nervously, feeling like she was suddenly confessing to him all over again. “Can we change the subject?” she huffed, settling the mug on the coffee table ahead. “I need to check my grimoire. Maybe there’s something in there that could help. Then everything will go back to normal.” 

“A normal where you’re in love with me and ignored? Where you’re just my friend while I'm with someone that I may love, but not in love with? Sounds great.” 

“Look, don’t you want your Bonnie back?” she snapped. “I’m sure she’s not too thrilled to be in a reality where her...her husband,” she lifted her hand with the ring and gestured to his own for emphasis, “-isn’t hers. I just know things are going to be fucked for me when I get back. Like things aren't overwhelming enough.” 

Her head fell into her hands. In her 26 years, life has been eventful, to say the least, so throwing in an alternate reality should just be another thing to get through. The only thing that made this harder was being in a place where all her fantasies became a reality. Where Damon actually loved her back in the way she craved and not just the friendship love he told her on the night she broke down. If anything, his words only tore her apart further and she had been trying desperately to snuff them out. To just be normal. But this happens. Where the reality she wants actually exist. And she hates that the possibility actually exists. 

A hand to her cheek shook her, his fingers moving the braids that had curtained her face being pushed back with a delicacy that launched her heart and had chills cover her skin. “Bon, it’s going to be fine. I’ll help you get back and hopefully my wife didn’t jump my bones when seeing me. She had a knack of being frisky during confusing times. It’s kinda hot actually.” He chuckled, trying to lighten the situation. 

She removed his hand from her and sat straighter, her emotions clouded as she said, “You shouldn’t touch me like that. I’m not your Bonnie.” 

“But you basically are,” he countered with a smirk that faltered when seeing her not respond, but instead became more sombre. “I’m sorry. I know this must be weird for you.” Standing, he was about to reach out for her hand, but stopped himself. “I’ll take you to the grimoires. We’ll find something in there.” 

\- 

“You know the words aren’t on my face, right?” Bonnie said as her eyes roamed the grimoire set before her and then proceeded to flip the page. “I’d rather not stay here for much longer. So, if you could stay focused, that would be helpful.” 

“Another version of my Bonnie is in front of me from a reality where we’re married and you expect me not to stare? C'mon, you can’t blame me.” 

“If it isn’t too much to ask,” she replied sarcastically. 

He couldn’t help it. Curiosity was itching at him, so he moved across the room and sat opposite her on the fluffy carpet. “How did this happen?” 

“That’s what we're trying to find out,” she spoke obviously, still not looking at him. 

“No. I mean, how did we happened?” 

She paused, thoughts seemingly running through her mind as if considering if she should say before she made a decision and finally looked up, allowing him to see her beautiful green eyes. 

“A decision must of been made that changed our paths. Something big.” She searched his face, looking for something. “You mention your Bonnie also went through things I did. So, tell me, we were in the prison world together, right?” 

“Yeah. I think that’s where we really blossomed, ya'know?” he joked. 

She continued, not even cracking a smile. “The whole Gemini-Kai situation also played out along with finding out your mum was alive when I came back?” He nodded in agreement. “With your mums help, Kai put Elena in a coma after she took the cure.” Again, he agreed, though his face twisted with a mix of hate and guilt. “Heritcs. Rayna and the phoenix stone. You were trapped and I got you out. Still the same?” 

“Yeah,” he answered. 

“All right. Then you tried to desiccate, we found a way to kill Rayna without killing everyone that had been marked and-" 

“Whoa whoa whoa,” he stopped her. "What do you mean I tried. I didn’t try. I did. I was desiccated for three years.” 

She looked taken aback. “You went through with it?” 

He had the decency to still feel ashamed for abandoning her and Stefan like that. Could hear the disapproval in Stefan's voice when he told him and then see the physical hurt and betrayal on Bonnie’s face when she turned up, making his plan to leave without seeing her reaction go up in flames. The pain in her voice at his decision stung deep. Deep enough to have him questioning why he was doing it, yet still he followed through with her tear streaked face following him as the blood dried up in his veins. 

“That was the moment then,” he recognised. “Here I desiccated, but in your reality I didn’t." 

“Three years?” she said to herself. “You left me to deal with all that shit on my own without you? Left me to deal with Rayna and the Armoury?” 

“Bonnie, I...” his words were lost. “I thought removing myself would have made things better for you and Stefan. I didn’t want to put you in danger because of me. It’s what I thought was best.” 

“Easier, you mean.” She laughed to herself without humour. “You know, I still remember that day. Fuck, I was so mad at you. That you would choose to leave me behind and that I’d never see you again. Because initially the next time you would have woken up was when I was dead. And in your Damon way I knew you were trying to help, but all you were really doing was running away. I told you this. Basically told you to rot and left. But then you chased after me. You immediately apologised, begging me to forgive you,” she explained. “I didn’t. Not for a good couple of weeks but we still worked together and fixed things like we usually did after hiding and planning. But you’re telling me that this version of me continued to feel abandoned for three years?” 

“You had other people. Enzo an-" 

“I don’t give a fuck about who I had. Who I really needed was you and you basically spat in my face. How are we still even friends?” 

“You didn’t make it easy.” 

“Good.” 

A silence fell between them. Since Bonnie had forgiven him, she hadn’t brought up her feelings of that day since and he had made sure to compensate for their time lost. To be a better friend. A friend that she deserved. But now hearing it from this Bonnie and her perspective, the guilt stung his chest. 

What made the entire thing even crazier was that being the moment in time where their realities split. Looking at this Bonnie, she represented what could have been if he had just followed her out, than closing that casket. She was the literal 'what if' Caroline had mentioned before. 

“Can I ask you something?” 

She looked at him pointedly. 

“When...How did we happen?” 

The idea of knowing was too tempting. To think not just in his reality, but another where Bonnie was also in love with him made it clear that it was not a fluke. The main difference was him. He knew the 'why'. Now he just needed the 'how'. 

“After Rayna things went back to normal, but I was still looking for ways to bring Elena back. You found out and wasn’t happy. Told me you weren’t about to lose me just to have her. That you were willing to wait because my life was worth living.” She smiled to herself. “We were together a lot and per usual something had to disrupt the peace. Turns out Sirens exist and Cade. Long story short, we sorted it out but in the process I was drained and died for a moment but Caroline revived me. It meant the spell broke and Elena was awake. 

“For a while everything calmed down again. Normal...where vampires, werewolves and witches are concerned, anyway. But I had started to develop feelings for you. I pushed them down for a long time. I didn’t want to admit to having them. Felt guilty and bad for having so much animosity for you and Elena’s relationship and I hated feeling like that. The two of you were happy and that’s all that mattered. All I cared about, so I bottled them in because I shouldn't want you. My best friend's boyfriend.” 

Her words were ringing a similarity to how his Bonnie explained to feel. How she still felt. Something suddenly felt hollow in his chest and sunk to the pit of his stomach. 

“You and Elena started to have problems. She really wanted you to take the cure. To have this happily ever after human life with her and I could tell it was getting to you. I told her not to pressure you because it wasn’t fair and I told you that the decision was yours and yours only. How no one should hold it over you. She saw that as me meddling. Trying to come between the two of you, but I wasn’t. I wouldn’t.” 

“I know,” he found himself adding without thought. 

She smiled at that. Smiled for the first time in a while and it lifted the pit within him slightly. “We got into a huge fight, me and her. Accused me of trying to break you up and how I was wasting my time because you would never leave her for me. Because she was your world and who you loved most and would do anything for. And I hated that she saw you as merely someone who seem to have no other love or want or aspiration in your life. As if you weren’t your own person. That you weren't as obsessed as you once were with Katherine.” She took a breath, the old feelings manifesting on her face as she spoke. “I hated that she thought she had so much power over you. Because to me, that’s control. She often spoke of how you felt for her, but not how she felt for you. It all seemed one sided and I hated that the love you were giving out wasn’t deserved because you’ve been through a lot of heart ache. Risked your relationship with Stefan to be with her. I didn’t want it to be for nothing and I told her as much.” 

“My hero,” he chuckled out half heartedly. 

“Yeah, well, I thought it was about time someone other than Stefan put you first. And I wasn’t going to allow her to take advantage of you because you’re so easily blinded by love, even if its unhealthy.” She sat straighter, squaring her shoulders and he found himself doing the same. “I didn’t know it at the time, but you overheard everything. Eventually things cooled down again, but my feelings still grew and you were getting suspicious. You chose the wrong night to question me about it because I was drunk and in my feelings and you were there and I just...” 

He didn’t need her to say it. He could guess what transpired. Surprisingly, it was the very thing his Bonnie was afraid of happening. Losing control and confessing when she wasn’t ready. It’s why she chose to leave. To gather some distance from him. 

“You pushed me away and I broke down. Spilled my guts like there was no tomorrow.” She screwed her face slightly as if the memory was still embarrassing to recall. “Then I avoided you and the colourful messages Elena sent my way and shut the world out before packing and leaving. Went to visit my mum for a while. When I got back, you and Elena had broken up. Apparently she wanted you to cut me out of your life.” 

His lips parted, Elena's recent ultimatum pushing to the forefront of his mind. How shocked and angry he was to even be put in that position. 

“She said if you wouldn’t do that, then you didn’t love her as much as she thought. So you broke things off.” 

Me? The very thought was surprising. 

“When I came back you told me what happened and even though I was happy you wouldn’t just toss me away, I knew you were upset about ending things. I told you I’d understand if our friendship would have to change if you were to get back with her, but you said that you couldn’t do that. That you came to realise that your were more in love with the idea of her. Of finally getting the girl and needing it to work to make all your past actions worth while. But even though you loved her, you weren’t in love with her. That love wasn’t consumption and passion and selfishness. But instead could be honest and free and comes naturally. That you can be yourself wholly. That it could be patience. And even though it’s not always perfect, it still works because you give each other the strength and courage to try.” 

“I have a way with words, don’t I?” his lips lifted, trying to will his nerves and thumping heart to calm. “And then me and you happened?” 

She laughed at that, shaking her head. “No. We didn’t. We just got closer, if that was possible until a couple months later when we were watching a movie. You randomly said that you forgave me for assaulting you with my drunken kiss from before and all I had to do next time was ask. I thought you were joking, but when I looked at you...” 

The way she peered into his eyes had him swallow shallowly. She was looking at him so openly that his head was spinning. She wasn't hiding it like she usually did. And she wasn’t caught up in a frustrated venting session. The love in her eyes was grounded and real and undeniable that it almost felt like too much to bear. 

She reached forward, a hand brushing the light stubble on his jaw. Her touch was warm and gentle and he found himself wanting to lean into it. He saw the moment her eyes dipped and a rush of anticipation hit. He was...nervous. He’s gotten so used to Bonnie keeping her desires to herself that on occasions he would forget she even loved him, but this wasn’t his Bonnie. This Bonnie was showing clear signs of what she wanted and he hated that he wanted her to act on it. 

Instead she frowned, blinking away the thought and leaned back, not realising how close she had gotten. How close he was allowing her to get. Hands falling to the pages in the grimoire, she refocused herself. “I could tell you were serious,” she continued. “We started out slow. It was something new for the both of us. I had an insecurity that you were just confused. That I was just a filler until you came to your senses that it was Elena who you wanted all along while you thought the relationship will eventually end because I might realise that wanting you and being with you were two different things. So far we’ve both been wrong.” 

“Enough for us to get married, apparently.” 

He watched as she touched her wedding finger where the ring was missing. Softly, she spoke, “I guess so.” Snapping out of it, she said, “That’s enough story time. Let’s get back on task.” Taking a grimoire from beside her, she dropped it into his lap before she proceeded to flip a page.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another lengthy chapter with some much needed heart to hearts.  
> Loving your thoughts for the chapters. They make me smile.  
> Enjoy.  
> K.

“I spoke to Ric. Gave him some homework. If he finds anything he’ll let me know,” Damon told as he strolled into the Salvatore library with a take away bag in his hand. 

Clearing a spot for it on the table, the scent of food had her stomach growl. Damon smiled, moving the grimoire further down and then took the one she had, leaving the page open. 

“C'mon. You should eat something. And seeming today is our takeaway day, didn’t see a point in missing it.” 

She watched him set out an array of Caribbean dishes. It all smelled delightful. A peanut punch for her and a Guinness punch for him, he served her plate and she took it. Before too long they were tucking in, eating in a somewhat comfortable silence though her mind still wondered on how to return home. 

Bellies full, Damon cleared the plates away before soon returning with two bowls on of rum and raisin ice cream in hand. She took it gladly, the desert keeping her mind occupied. 

“So, if you're not with me, who are you seeing?” 

She paused and looked at him only to find blatant curiosity there. Taking a moment she answered, “I have a situation with Enzo.” 

“Enzo!” he exclaimed. “What? How did that happen?” 

With genuine intrigue, he leaned back in the sofa as if prepared for a whole tale and surprisingly, she gave him just that, a basic overview from the moment her Damon decided to desiccate which he was shocked by, to how her relationship developed with Enzo. How he kept her safe, though it was clear from this disapproving frown on his face that he wasn’t so thrilled about the use of pills that could have killed her. 

She went on to tell him how she momentarily become a huntress. How Damon and Enzo got taken by Cade and onwards. While he listened he gave a few commentary on what matched in his reality and what was different. Soon she came up to the present. 

“We’re not together, but we still have something. And I know I shouldn’t keep seeing him when he’s still in love with me. It's a fucked up thing to do, but it gets lonely and it’s nice to be wanted. Plus, he’s not a stranger, so I trust him.” She exhaled, placing the empty bowl down. “He says he’s fine with it, but I know I have to stop. It’s not fair on him, yet every time I’m about to put a end to it, a selfish part of me keeps holding on.” 

“Its ok to be a little selfish at times,” he told. She met his blue eyes as he continued, “Especially you. Sounds like you’ve been through a lot, Bon. And as fucking weird it is to know another version of my wife has been fucking my friend-" 

“Damon,” she hit him. 

He smiled cheekily as he added, “I don’t blame you for doing what you’re doing. But right now you’re just filling a void.” Tone serious, he asked, “Why did you break up with him in the first place? I know you said you didn’t feel the same. But why?” 

She looked away, his stare too focused, so she just looked out to the crackling fire instead as she spoke, “I’m sure you’ve already guessed.” 

“Still...” he drifted. 

“What does it matter?” 

“Because how you feel matters, Bonnie. And if you’re anything like mine, you’ll keep it buried until you explode,” he observed. “I don’t want that for you. I don’t want you to feel like you need to fill a void because you feel unwanted, because I can promise you that you’re not.” 

“I’m sorry, but you’re not my Damon. You look and sound the same, but there’s a huge difference between you. You’re with a version of me and he’s with Elena.” She leaned back in the sofa, legs crossed with her hands falling into her lap. She watched her fingers as she fiddled with them. “He already knows how I feel and I feel like I’ve put him in a weird position. Shit, what can you really do when your best friend confesses being in love with you? God, I’m such an idiot.” 

“You’re not,” he disagreed. 

“No, I am,” she argued. “The one rule in being best friends and I fucked that up. At one point I had to leave to clear my head and it worked for a little bit. But it wasn’t the solution to my problem because the more I’m around you, the more everything just bubbles up again. And I try so hard to push them down. I really do. But even by chance I don’t take notice off it too much, something comes crashing down and I realise I shouldn't feel the way I feel when you’re not available. And even if you were, you don’t see me like that. You’ve said it enough at this point.” 

“With those words?” 

“Whether you did or not, what you’re insinuating is clear enough and I got it, loud and clear. The only love you feel for me is friendship. And for a long while I thought I would be fine with it. That I could cope, especially when it was just a confession between me and you, but now Elena is suspicious and I can tell Caroline is too. I feel exposed with others knowing and everything I do or say to you is being watched. But now being in this place where we’re...” sigh, “It’s a lot.” 

The small space between them was suddenly filled. An arm behind her, he used his other hand to hold hers. She stiffened, hyper aware of how close and intimate this was. Her heart was racing. 

“Can I say something?” he asked rhetorically. “I’m sorry you feel this trapped. I’m sorry I’m apparently still too dumb to realise what’s in front of me and not just wasting my time by taking so damn long, but yours and Elena's too because I'm too scared to act on it. Trust me, I know how it feels to be in your shoes. To love so hard, but not getting it back.” 

He paused, thinking over his words as his fingers entwined with her own, their rings touching. 

“I want you to hear me, Bonnie. Hear me when I say that I love you.” She chewed her cheek, trying to swallow the ball itching up her throat. She looked up, lost in his ice blue eyes to say that she wasn’t his, but he was already talking. “I. Love. You. I can say it because you’re exactly the Bonnie I fell for four years ago and I want you to hear it from me at least once without any bullshit to cloud or water it down. I’m in love with you. You’re the best thing that has happened to me. The love you give me; the one I can see in your eyes right now, has helped me realise what love should be. You’ve helped me see that all I need is to be myself and I’d be a lot happier than pretending.” 

Her eyes were welling and she was trying her hardest to keep the motherfucking tears in. 

“If I could, I’d beat my own ass for making you feel like this...again and for so long. It would be easy too. I mean, you’ve got the useless human me.” 

She chuckled at that. 

“I need you to feel cherished. I need you to feel wanted, because you’re not a second thought. Never. You make everything better when we’re together. I mean, life would be boring without you. We'd all definitely be dead ten times over,” he told. “My little witch,” he smiled contently. The hand behind her was suddenly pushing a braid behind her ear before his fingers grazed down her cheek and then lifted her chin. “Don’t you ever feel like you’re not worth something. Like you’re not loved...because you are.” 

His eyes had dipped and she could see the dilation in his pupils before a reddish tint she hadn’t seen on him in a while filtered through and the dark veins beneath this eyes became slightly visible as he leaned forward. 

He was a mere breath away when she stopped him. “I can't,” she whispered. “I’m not your wife.” 

He was staring at her with an emotion she couldn’t decipher, because technically she was, but she also wasn’t exactly the person he knew. She felt like she would strangely being cheating on with herself and also taking advantage of him and the situation. 

He leaned back and she created some space between them, removing his hold from her. 

“Sorry. I just hate seeing you upset, even though this you isn’t my you,” he explained, collecting himself. “Either way, I meant what I said. And if he don’t come to his senses soon, I need you to do something for me, Bon. I need you to let him go and find the love within yourself. Stop wasting your time. You shouldn’t have to wait forever for me to see what I'm missing. You shouldn't keep allowing yourself to get hurt because you're afraid our relationship would change. When you realise that, then you’ll be ready to receive love from whoever comes your way.” 

It fell quiet for a moment, having her mull over his words. Somehow hearing it from him and the sincerity in his tone didn’t make the task seem so impossible. That somehow and someway, her love for him could become less tense and then make her emotionally available to make deeper connections with other people. All she had to do was to put her foot down and stop all this self-inflicting pain she's been swimming in, but putting it into practice would be much harder. She's been trying and has consistently been failing. 

Eventually a thought popped into her head. She turned to him and inquired, “How does your marriage work? I mean, you’re still a vampire and I’m still a witch, right?” 

He smiled and looked at his ring. A material oddly similar to what she had given her Damon. 

“Our rings links us. As long as we wear it, our life force intertwines. The length of my life is yours without you needing to turn, though you could also use your magic to lengthen it anyway. Either way, it means you didn’t need to become a vampire and I wouldn’t need to take the cure,” he explained. “If something was to happen and you took your ring off in like, 40 years, you wouldn’t age up immediately. You’d just continue aging from the age you look now. Mine also acts as a magic blocker to anyone’s but yours unless I lower the spell.” 

“You can perform a spell?” 

“The one and only time. I never use it though. Why would I want anyone but my wife to give me an aneurysm? Though I think you really just want me to be your sexy play thing that only you control.” 

She huffed out a laugh. “That surprisingly could definitely be a strong reason. The benefits are endless.” 

He smiled broadly at her teasing. 

“Don’t look at me like that, Bon-Bon. Remember, you’re not mine, so be careful.” 

She held her hand up in false surrender and then reached for a grimoire and tossed it to him before reclaiming the opened pages of the one she had before. 

“Now, let’s figure out a way to get me home.” 

\- 

He felt weird leaving Bonnie at her house, but she insisted it was what she preferred doing than sleeping in a house where her ‘husband could be fucking' his ex in what she considered to be ‘their’ room. 

He saw where she was coming from and that then had him wanting to stay with her, crashing in her bed or the spare room like he’s done from time to time, but it wouldn’t be appropriate considering who he was to her and how Elena would feel about it. So, with reluctance, he left, letting her know he'd return in the morning. 

As he said his goodbye, she turned - almost automatically, tipping on her toes to reach for his lips but stopped herself the same moment he stepped back, again, having his heart race. She apologised immediately, dismissing it as a cause of habit. He laughed it off and left, but as he got in his car and drove, he couldn’t help but imagine her lips on his if they both hadn’t stopped. 

Shutting his eyes, he wished the thoughts away. Because where he was already feeling confused about his feelings for Bonnie as it is of late, this just puzzled his head further. Making him want things he’s resisted and brushed off for a while now. Grunting, he got out of the car and headed inside, needing a hot shower as if it would wash away the building wedge in his mind and also the growing concern for his Bonnie. How she must be feeling to be with a version of him that was her husband and visibly in love with her. 

His fist clenched, hoping she was coping. Hoping the other him hadn’t kissed her as easily as this Bonnie had or done anything to put his Bonnie over the edge she was so close to. 

Entering and closing the door, Damon looked up to see Elena sat on the couch in the open planned space before him with Blondie by her side. Stefan was there too, a book in hand, flipping through the pages. 

Feeling tired, he walked towards them and made a b-line for the mini bar. Pouring a glass, he downed it in one go before pouring another. 

“I didn’t expect you to be gone the whole day,” were Elena’s first words to him. 

He could hear the disapproval in her voice. As if an accusation was soon the follow and he really didn’t want to deal with it. He was slowly becoming more irate with her behaviour in general and her attitude towards Bonnie. 

Yes, he could still empathise with her, but emotions are messy and can be out of our control. How Bonnie feels; naturally that would be something to be amplified by how much time they spend together and the relationship they’ve built over the years. Yet, Bonnie would never and has never acted upon them because she respects him and Elena enough not too. Unfortunately, that seems to go completely over Elena’s head. She also seems to have forgotten how messy the beginning of their own relationship started. It's not like Bonnie was making out with him outside a motel. 

Everyone knows he would never cheat on her. She was smug enough to taunt it to Bonnie’s face, basically telling her that she wasn’t good enough. It pissed him off because those words were just reinforcing how she already felt. 

Meeting her eyes, he said, “This might be surprising, but grimoires hold a lot of spells.” The lost of patience in his voice even surprised him. Twisting the glass in his hold he added, “We still don’t know how this happened so it might take a little while to figure out.” 

“Where's Bonnie?” Caroline asked, but quickly corrected herself with, “I mean, the other Bonnie.” She was looking towards the door as if expecting her to come in any second, but he knew her Vamp hearing didn’t detect another person. 

“Staying at hers.” 

“Why? I mean, wouldn’t it make sense to just stay here and work this out in one location? She should be here.” 

“She doesn’t feel comfortable,” he answered. “I’d suspect you’d feel the same if you turned up in a reality where your hubby and Elena were still chummy.” 

Caroline’s nose crinkled at the thought, her gaze shifting towards Stefan. Damon looked down into his glass, suddenly in thought. How 'you'd feel', he had said. Not, how 'we'd feel'. Jaw tight, he gulped the rest of the bourbon and strolled over to where Stefan was to glance over at the book in his lap. 

“Find anything interesting, little brother?” 

“Nothing that can help us,” he replied. “Some of the stuff that I’ve come across are hypothetical. And even then, it’s going there physically. This case is different. Bonnie still looks like our Bonnie, right? How we saw her yesterday? Nothing's changed?” 

Damon nodded. 

“Then it was the consciousness that’s seem to have moved,” he theorised. “Ric and Dorian are asking around. If they find something, they’ll let us know.” 

“How is she?” Caroline wondered. “I was going to come by but I didn’t want to just crowd her, ya'know? Like, would she still even see me as a friend? Maybe things are different over there. Well, obviously, but I mean, between me and her and it would be weird if I went to hug her and then she’ll look at me like I’m crazy, ya’know?” she rambled. “This must be super weird for her. This must be super weird for our Bonnie. God, I hope she’s ok.” 

“She’s probably just fine,” Elena added somewhat bitterly. “I mean, she has you, doesn’t she.” 

Jaw clenched, he made an effort not to respond. Of how little she thought of Bonnie. Instead he looked between Caroline and Stefan to ask, “You two staying tonight?” seeming the two would occasionally stay when in the mood. Caroline nodded. “All right,” he said and turned on his heels and left. 

Soon showered, he ventured back downstairs and took one of the back doors out. Taking a seat at the patio, he shoved his hand in the pockets of the thick hoodie and stared out into the outline of the dark forest beyond. A darkness he could once see through. A forest he could once hear the nocturnal animals rustling in. Sitting in the chilly late November air he'd previously had no qualms with, he suddenly felt utterly useless. Utterly human. He felt like Donovan. His lip lifted on its own, knowing if he'd said that comment aloud, Bonnie would have hit him playfully while telling him not to be mean and how he should now respect the new Sheriff. 

Sighing, his fingers raked through his hair and slouched back, allowing the events of the day to re-enact. Wondered how his Bonnie was. Wondered how this new Bonnie was. 

Deep in thought, he didn’t know how long he’d just been sat thinking to himself while unconsciously twisting the ring at his finger. He glanced down, the light filtering out the house had the blue within the ring shimmer. 

It was the door that snapped him out of it. He didn’t look to see; just back out to the forest line ahead. 

“Here,” Stefan handed him a steaming bowl of pasta when sitting beside him. 

He wasn’t all that hungry, having already eaten a left-over meal with Bonnie prior, but he accepted nevertheless. It was only when he was finished, bowl casted aside did Stefan speak again. 

“How're you doing?” 

He snorted at the question. “I'm not the one stuck in a different reality.” 

Sparing a glance at his brother, Stefan was already watching him with an open expression, ready to take on anything and everything Damon had to say. The only issue was, what was bubbling beneath he wasn’t sure if it was something he was even ready to admit, let alone talk about. 

“How's Elena?” 

“Confused,” he told and then within a breath added, “Worried." 

Damon’s jaw locked, so he looked away as he propped a leg up on the table. Stefan sat back, making himself more comfortable, the cold air barely even raising goose bumps on his exposed arms. 

“I’m sure she’s painted a colourful light to Blondie.” 

“She’s mentioned a few things,” he admitted. “Like her walking in on who she thought was our Bonnie kissing you and finding out she only did that because in her reality the two of you are married.” 

Damon’s pulse picked up when remembering her lips on his for however brief it was. To think there was a place where they worked to the point of being married. Something he’s never put much thought in, even with Elena. Not since he was first human and meeting Katherine in 1864 where the emotion of loving someone and being with them forever became borderline obsessive in his hopeless, lovesick, innocent human mind. 

“How in that reality you’re still a vampire.” Stefan paused, thinking over what he’d say next. “Having doppelganger suddenly sounds much easier because they’re not really you. But different realities...? It’s you with a different experience. How things could have been and I think that’s what’s making this so hard for Elena. For you too.” 

“I'm fine,” he brushed off. “Like you said. Different experiences. Different actions.” He frowned at the last part, not wanting to reveal what said action was. The pivotal moment that could have changed everything. “We just need to hurry up and get them back to where they belong.” 

He stood then, taking hold of the bowl to leave but Stefan held a hand out, his eyes looking introspective and Damon wasn’t in the mood for a brotherly late night confession. His mind was already spinning as it was and he knew listening to Stefan would only make it worse. 

“Look, whatever is turning beneath that hero hair of yours, I don’t want to hear it right now.” 

Stefan watched him for a moment, but nodded. Damon walked past and went back into the warmth of the house. Dropping the bowl off in the kitchen, he made his way to his room but stopped at the closed door when hearing Elena speaking from the other side. 

“...and how am I supposed to look at them when they’re together the same when I know this? That there’s a place where they’re married?” she huffed. 

“Elena-" Caroline started, probably wanting to warn her that Damon was behind the door, but she didn’t get the chance to because Elena was already releasing more of her frustrations. 

“We’ve spoken about marriage, but he's always seen it as a thing further down the line whereas I’m more ready for it now. It’s like we're at different stages in the relationship.” She laughed in disbelief. “And I know Bonnie is probably loving it over there. Getting to live her fantasy life with him.” 

“You know that’s not true,” Caroline defended Bonnie, her usual understanding tone dropping an inch. 

“It’s not?” Elena challenged. “C'mon, you and I both know she has feelings for him. Feelings that are obviously strong enough to come up in another reality. What’s to say she won’t take advantage of the situation? I mean, I would.” 

Bonnie isn’t you, he snapped in his head. 

She continued to ramble further, but it was being drowned out and receding when he suddenly turned on his heels and walked away. Away from his girlfriend’s growing frustration and slander of his best friend. He should really go in to comfort her. To reassure her of his feelings, but more and more of late Elena was showing a side of herself that was turning him off. The attitude. The ultimatum. The insecurity that wasn’t warranted when even she knew he’d never cheat. 

Bonnie wasn’t Elena, to toy with peoples feelings and use them as a weapon. Bonnie wasn’t him, who tend to actively go after who he wanted no matter the cost. She was considerate and kind and thoughtful of everyone around her. Still to this day putting others feelings before her own and it irritated him that a so call friend to know Bonnie so well, to have grown up with her, would have so little faith. 

Car door shutting, he turned on the engine and drove off. 

\- 

She strolled into the kitchen the next morning finding Stefan leaning against the counter, sipping a blood bag just as Damon was opening his own. The brothers looked up and she smiled tightly. 

“Morning,” she said. 

“Morning, beautiful,” Damon grinned, causing her insides to flutter though her face wore a flat look at his antics. 

Stefan looked her up and down, probably already aware of the situation and was trying to spot a difference. “Morning, Bonnie,” he smiled friendly. “How're you feeling?” he asked, the same concern that was so Stefan in nature. 

“I’m...dealing,” she answered as she made her way to the fridge to grab some milk. As she closed the door, upon the counter Damon had instantly taken out a bowl and a cereal box. Awkwardly, she said, “Thanks,” which he winked to. 

Lifting the blood bag to his lips, she watched him take a sip, noticing the all too common vamperic veins momentarily appear under his eyes. She found it crazy that just under four month ago seeing this was an everyday thing. Even the way he held himself looked a little different from her version of him. More at ease. More comfort. More himself some how. 

“Are you about to offer up your neck for me? Because I’d much rather have you.” 

“No,” she rushed out, obviously taken aback with heat rising to her face. “You stick to whoever that AB belongs too.” 

He grinned teasingly to say, “Aw, you remembered.” 

She rolled her eyes at him. He chuckled at that, watching as she made her bowl and sat at the table. After taking a bite, she looked up to Stefan to ask, “So, where's Care?” 

“New Orleans,” he answered. 

Bonnie’s forehead creased. “What’s she doing there?” 

“From what she told me, helping Klaus with whatever mess he's gotten into. Then she’ll head back to New York.” 

“New York?” she repeated. “You guys don’t live here?” 

He tilted his head at that. “She lives there. Made herself an PA at a law firm. She says she likes it so far. Trying not to compel anyone to get her way,” he informed, having Damon make a ‘Boring,’ comment. Stefan ignored him and went on to inquire curiously, “What did you mean by ‘you guys'?” 

Bonnie chewed on her lip, suddenly realising she spoke something she wasn’t meant to. How it didn’t occur to her that just as things were different for her here, the same could be said for everyone else. 

“Bon-Bon,” Damon sang way too happily, now curious too. “C'mon, spill. What difference would it make?” 

She narrowed her eyes at him and he only smiled more as he sipped happily on his blood bag. She huffed and looked to Stefan. “In my reality, you and Caroline are together. So, when you said New York, I thought the two of you lived there...together.” 

Stefan’s greenish eyes widened while Damon snickered childishly beside him. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything,” she retracted. 

Snapping out of his initial shock, he said, “No. It’s fine.” 

“Looks like your short loved romance could have gone somewhere if you two just stuck it out,” Damon teased. When seeing Bonnie's slack jaw, he added, “Don’t worry, Bon. Those two are still besties. Ya'know, with the occasional hook-up here and there.” Stefan looked at him. “What?” Damon asked with a shrug. “You know Bon basically tells me everything, right? Well, actually, I overheard their conversation months back and then I cornered her to tell me,” he admitted. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” 

“Because clearly you wanted it to be a little secret. Can’t I want my little brother to feel like he knows something and I don’t? You also always came back with this glow. That and Bon made me promise not to say anything or she'd boil my blood and slip vervain in every bottle of liquor I own. Not even just the bourbon. All of them!,” he complained; adding, "Witch," jokingly at the end. 

Breakfast went on with a light conversation before Ric called, informing Damon that he might have found something and would send a picture of the information later. Her stomach twisted, both happy, yet nervous to have a potential way home. 

“So Damon tells me you two aren’t together where you’re from,” Stefan announced as he casually sat opposite her after Damon left the kitchen. “Must of been a shock when you got here.” 

“Understatement.” 

“It’s funny. I can’t imagine you two not being together.” 

She glanced down at the ring at her finger and twisted. Her heart launching in her chest. “How long have we been...” 

“Together?” he finished for her. “Overall, four years. Married-" he made a face to show he was in thought. “-almost a year. You two eloped. Caroline was pissed that you didn’t have a whole ceremony, so she guilt you into one.” His eyes crinkled with an amused smile. “Had it here actually. It was beautiful.” 

“If Caroline is involved, I’m not surprised.” Call it morbid curiosity, but, “Where’s Elena?” she wondered. 

“Texas,” he answered. “Completing her medical degree there. She wanted to get away. After Damon broke up with her I think she was expecting him to come crawling back. But he didn’t. And then when the two of you started to see each other a few months later, you had a big argument. She said some things. Out of line things. Damon’s wasn’t having any of it. None of us were.” Stefan spoke like it was nothing, but to him it probably was when the event happened so long ago. “Eventually she upped and left, needing a new start. To be honest, I think it’s what she needed. A normal life is what she was meant to have...with Tom actually, but you know how that turned out. I think she's better off where she is. she's doing well.” 

“I didn’t want this to happen,” she found herself saying. “I didn’t want our friendship to be affected. I wanted them to be happy. I still do.” 

Stefan looked upon her with understanding. “I know. But not all friendships or relationships lasts. Sometimes people need to leave for us to grow. To evolve. But it’s not a bad thing to outgrow each other. Especially when things turn sour.” 

“Turning sour over a guy.” 

“Turning sour because the relationship was uneven,” he corrected. “You gave too much. Always have. There was never a balance. You’ve always found it hard to put yourself first. To be a bit selfish. I have the same problem,” he informed light-heartedly. “That’s when having Damon comes in handy. As a friend or partner, you started to pay attention to your own needs and figure out your life without guilt. In all honesty, since knowing you from the start, in the last four years I’ve never seen you more un-burdened.” 

“I’m not-,” she paused to re-word her sentence in a way that fit this reality with, “I wasn’t that bad. I mean, I did some reckless things, but everything always turned out all right, didn’t it?” 

“For everyone else, you mean. It turned out all right for most of us, yet you always ended up drawing the short end of the stick,” he pointed out. “I’m pretty sure you don’t need reminding that you were a ghost with no sensory feeling only to become the anchor that suddenly felt too much when a supernatural died. That and a whole lot more.” 

She pursed her lips, face twisting in thought to say, “Yeah. That wasn’t the best,” almost casually. 

Stefan chuckled and she joined, thinking back to all the things she had endured. 

“The point is, at some point you need to put you first and he's helped you do just that while you’ve been able to make him a less of a dick in the process.” 

“Just one of the many powers she has over me,” Damon’s voice caught her off guard as he walked back in with his phone in hand. “Is it too late to claim to be bewitched?” he joked as he took a seat beside her, his body close. “Now,” he tapped the tables excitedly. “Tell me all the juicy little secrets about my little brother and Care-bear.” 

\- 

A sudden tap to the window had him jolt awake. Rubbing the blurriness from his eyes, he saw Bonnie standing outside, a robe wrapped around her with a pretty brow arched up in question. 

Outside looked misty beyond the confinement of his car, the day already looking like it was going to be a glum one. Condensation on his window, he saw a light plume of breath from her lips and her shiver. He opened the door, about to tell her to go back inside to get warm, but she spoke first. 

“How long have you been out here?” 

He cleared his throat to say, “Since last night.” 

“What?” she looked surprised. “Didn’t you go home?” 

“No. No, I did.” 

“You did?” she repeated, clearly confused. “Then why did you come back and why are you sleeping in your car?” 

“Suddenly didn’t want to stay home,” he answered vaguely. 

She didn’t question him on the specifics. Instead she berated him on stupidly staying in the car and should have come in the house instead. Huffing, she asked him if he wanted breakfast and he agreed. Following her into the house, she looked around the kitchen, in search of what to make until she settled on a omelette, toast and herbal tea. 

“I saw you have clothes here,” she broke the comfortable silence. “Do you stay over a lot?” 

“When I’m in the mood,” he answered. 

“So how comes you didn’t come in last night?” 

“Didn’t think it would be the best choice.” 

“Why? I wouldn’t have fucked you,” she spoke plainly and it had him choking on his food for a moment until he cleared his throat and sipped his tea to sooth it, all while Bonnie looked at him with amusement. “Though I can’t say I’m not curious in the difference. Your stamina must have taken a hit.” 

“Whoa whoa whoa, you can stop there,” he pointed a finger at her. “There’s nothing wrong with my stamina.” 

“Well, there’s no way of me knowing that for sure, but...” she looked him up and down slowly, “I’ll take your word for it.” 

He was speechless. It wasn’t as if the two haven’t had conversation on their sex lives. They just haven’t had conversations on what their sex lives together could be other than Damon’s random teasing. This conversation was very different now when knowing the Bonnie before him has been having sex with another version of him for years and for some reason he was becoming increasingly flustered, yet to his dismay, slightly turned on. 

Without thought, he asked, “Would it be too big headed to assume you’re pleased?” 

“Nope,” she grinned, her eyes drinking him in. “Don’t think I could ever get bored with you. And I have to admit, you’re very good with your mouth.” 

He shifted in his seat, mouth dry. Her stare was focused with an innocent tilt of the head and he was aware of what she was doing. That she knew exactly how her words were affecting him. So teasing. So bold. So Bonnie in a light he hasn’t seen. God, this is wrong. 

“I’m sorry,” she giggled. “I’ll stop.” Rolling her shoulders, she changed the topic easily with, “Can I ask you something?” 

He nodded. 

“Do you find me attractive?” 

He wasn’t prepared for that. Yet, the answer was so obvious. “Yeah. You’re pretty. Beautiful.” 

“But you don’t feel anything for me? You don’t love me,” she assumed. 

“I do love you.” 

“I mean, in love with me,” she rephrased. “You’re not in love with me.” 

“Bonnie, I...” He was suddenly struggling to find the words because how the fuck do you answer that? 

“Damon, just be honest. I’m not your Bonnie, remember. I’m just curious to know how you feel. How you really feel.” 

“That’s kinda hard when I don’t know. I know I love you. I’ve told you more than once. You mean a lot to me, but before it was always just because you were a kind of best friend I’ve never had. Someone who actually knew me. All of me. And then you told me how you felt about me and I’ve gotta admit, Bon, it fucked with my head a while,” he admitted. “I didn’t understand why you would want me because honestly, you deserve so much more. More than I could offer you.” 

She sat opposite at the table, listening without interruptions. Allowing him to just put it out there. 

“I’ve never felt worthy of you, so I didn’t even think about there being an us. You might have popped up in my thoughts over time, but I never thought anything could come from it. Wasn’t focused on it when I had Elena there.” He leaned forward. “Then you told me after up and leaving for a couple of months and...” Pause. “I don’t know. Something...changed. I always thought you were beautiful. You understood me. You always want me to do what’s best for me and it had me start to really look at what I had with Elena and I didn’t like that. Like that suddenly I was comparing you. Thinking about you when I shouldn’t. Prioritising you instantly without thought. Not to get points or to prove that I care or how good I can be. But because when there’s something wrong with you, I want to fix it because I need you to be ok.” 

He released a sigh. “Honestly, Bon, when I saw you with Enzo at the Gala I was pissed. When you left for the weekend, all I could think about was the two of you together. I was – I was jealous.” He knew this bonnie had no clue what he was talking about, but still, he continued. “And when you broke down, I’ve never felt so useless. To be the reason for your sadness. For you feeling like shit and unwanted when I never want you to feel like that from anyone, especially me.” 

Eyes focused and heart steady, he was spilling things he would find difficult to tell his Bonnie knowing the situation. But this way, speaking to this version of Bonnie was him being able to let it out without all the nerves and fear that’s been building. 

“I hate that you make me question things and can’t just let me be. Its why I didn’t want to come to you when I planned to desiccate and it’s why I didn’t come to you about taking the cure. Because you know how I feel about situations without me having to say. And all you have to do is look at me and I’d change my mind,” he told. “I wasn’t ready to become human. Deep down I knew it, but I didn’t want to admit it. And I don’t hate it. It’s just, being human, I’m starting to feel like that’s not what I was scared and stalling for. It was being human with the wrong person and I – I've been thinking of you.” 

Running his finger through his hair, he exhaled all his repressed emotions. “I’ve made so many mistakes, Bon. I’ve ruined so many relationships and I don’t want this to be one, so it feels safer for me to keep you as a friend than admit that I...” he was looking into her green eyes, seeing her soft features and the understanding beneath and he was falling. “...I’m in love with you, but I’m too scared to lose you. I’m scared to death of fucking shit up with you because I know if it’s bad enough you’ll be done with me.” 

It fell quiet between them and now he’s said it aloud, his heart was racing, almost panicked. Bonnie stood and rounded the tables, taking the seat beside him. She reached forward to slip her hands into his and squeezed reassuringly, keeping him grounded and safe and vulnerable. 

“I love you, Damon,” she started. “Sometimes too much it hurts. And I appreciate you telling me how you feel because I needed you to recognise it within yourself in order to figure out your next steps. To figure out what you want to do. And as much as I love you, as much as I’m sure I’m in love with you in this reality, you’re going to have to come to a choice.” 

“Bonnie,” he whispered, already dreading what she was about to say. 

“You either tell me all this and do something about it, or let me go so I can have some space from you. So I can breathe and find myself again.” She was frowning just as much as he was. “I know we would work. I’m proof of that, but shit might not turn out the same and that’s OK. Our time might not be now, but it doesn’t mean it never will be. What needs to happen is for you to figure out your relationship with Elena. I’m not going to tell you to breakup with her, because it’s obvious you still love her. But while you’re figuring your shit out, I need to do the same because honestly, it sounds like I’m already at my breaking point," she looked at him softly, voice tender. “If I want to leave, let it happen. I don’t want you to be angry with me for leaving again, but it’s also needed to keep my heart from breaking knowing that I can’t have someone that I want and knowing I’d never intentionally go after you and jeopardise all the relationships in question. So, while you’re doing you, I need to do me. It doesn’t mean we can’t stay in contact. I’m just assuming I’ll need some distance.” 

He really didn’t want to think about Bonnie leaving again, but when his Bonnie returns and if her line of thought correlates with this Bonnie’s, he’d respect it, no matter how much it hurt or frightened him. He was used to being selfish, but he had to be selfless with her if he wanted her to be happy. 

Taking her in, he breathed out, “OK.”


	9. Chapter 9

“What’s the face for?” 

She glanced up to see his blue eyes looking over the grimoire in his hand to where she laid on the floor. 

“I'm just thinking,” she answered. 

“I can see that,” Damon teased. “Want to tell me what its about?” 

She sat up, legs crossed and leaned back on her arms. “The night before I woke up here, I was at the Grill. They were holding a Thanksgiving celebration.” She paused, thinking it over. “There was this man.” Pause. “Looking back at it now, he was being a little cryptic. I mean, I went to get a drink at the bar and we bumped into each other. He started up conversation. He seemed friendly enough.” 

“How friendly?” 

She shook her head when seeing his face squish together. “Not like that,” she told. “He was just being nice. His wife showed up, actually. Said they were just driving through town. Then you, my you, came over and they assumed we were together. It was awkward to say the least, but they just brushed it off.” Her mind shifted through the night. “I was getting ready to leave, but ran into them again. The man shook my hand and the woman said something about realities can change sometimes and not everything follows the same structure, so be patient.” 

“Well that’s not creepy,” he commented. “You think they had something to do with this?” 

“Its just a thought. Considering everything and now remembering them, it all kinda clicks. I just don’t see the point in doing all this if it was them or how.” 

“Maybe the point was to 'see', Bon Bon,” he commented. “Maybe you two were just taking so damn long, these people took pity on you and it’s a way to say hurry the fuck up and get together because have you seen us together? We look pretty good.” 

A vibration sounding, Damon dug into his pocket to retrieve his phone. She watched as he looked at the screen, seeing his lips itch up. 

“What?” 

“Your little Freaky Friday trip might be coming to an end,” he informed and Bonnie immediately stood from the floor and sat beside him as she stared at the screen; watching as his fingers enlarged the picture sent with writing, followed by an incantation. “Looks more like the situation you’re in now than anything we’ve come across.” 

She made a small sound of agreement, yet said cautiously, “Yeah, but does it work is what we have to think about.” 

“Do you want to try?” 

They met eyes and she suddenly felt nervous. What is the spell didn’t work? What if it did work, but not the way they expected and somehow sent her to another reality? What then? She looked back at the screen, seeing the incantation and then back to Damon before standing to pace. 

She didn’t want this to go wrong. Even more, she somehow wasn’t ready to go back to her reality where she was sure shit would be awkward and uneasy and tense. Where she’d be back in a space where she was pathetically in love with a man that didn’t feel the same. In love with Elena’s boyfriend; something that has already fractured the relationship despite nothing occurring. Did she really want to go back to that? Yet, she knew she had too. It wouldn’t be fair to stay in a life that wasn’t her own. 

Exhaling sharply, she held out her hand and Damon placed his phone within. She read through the description, seeing the similarities in her situation. Not only could you do it to yourself, but it can be casted on others when the intent is clear. Within that, the intent can be used to go and returned, so the incantation remains the same either way. 

“You ok?” 

She looked up, seeing that Damon had stood and had been watching her pace while her thoughts spun. Hands in his pockets, he watched her intently. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I am,” she gave a tight smile. “This...this looks like the spell. This could be my way back.” 

She chewed on the inside of her cheek and focused on the phone again, re-reading the incantation and muttering it under her breath to ensure the pronunciation and the fluidity of the spell until she was certain she had it. 

A hand rested on her arm. “Bonnie,” he called softly. “You don’t have to do this right now.” 

“Yes, I do,” she disagreed. “I’ve been here long enough and I’m sure your wife is ready to be back here than stay there.” 

“My wife is very adaptable and I’m sure she's fine. Being married to me may have lowered her ambitions, so if anything she might be over there trying to get me to sleep with her for the fun of it.” 

Bonnie’s eyes widen with horror because that is the last thing she needs. 

Damon chuckled to himself at her reaction. “Only kidding. Kinda. Either way, she’s fine. Most liking have been trying to find a way back too,” he told. “All I’m saying is, there’s no need to rush this very second. You could give yourself a couple more hours if you’re not ready.” 

She stepped out of his hold, shaking her head. “No. It wouldn’t be fair. I should...I should go.” 

Looking at Damon, he nodded, showing his support, though she saw something within his stare. Worry. Sympathy. Something. 

Clearing her mind with her eyes closed, she began the spell, speaking the words clearly and her intent vivid to where she had to be. Into the reality that was her own. There wasn’t any witch-y wind blowing or fires sparking or the sudden rise or drop in temperatures that some spells create. Instead a weight within her felt heavier and a dull ache spread across her head; and the further she pushed, the more it became apparent until it stopped and the weird pressure suddenly evaded as if it hadn’t been there. 

Heart thumping away in her chest, she peered an eye open to see what laid ahead. The sight had her stomach drop. 

“Fuck!” she huffed, looking into the sceptic face of Damon. “It didn’t work,” she announced with irritation. “Why didn’t it work?” The question was rhetorical, yet Damon looked like he was going to answer it anyway. 

“Magic always has clauses we don’t know about.” 

Maybe everything was finally becoming too much because all the emotions within had her eyes gloss over while a ache to developed in her throat. She didn’t know. What she did know was this whole experience was becoming emotionally draining and she needed to breathe before the tears fell. 

Grabbing the grimoire from the floor, she left the room. 

\- 

He rushed to her side the moment he saw her sway. “Bon?” Steadying her, his brows knitted together with his lips turned down. “Bon, you ok?” 

She blinked rapidly, a hand to her head in confusion. “Yeah,” she breathed. “Yeah. I just felt this weight on me. My head. It...Never mind.” Standing straighter, she went on with, “I’m good. I’m fine.” 

“It should be common knowledge by now that when shit like that happens, its not always fine.” 

“Would you relax,” she smiled. “So doom and gloom. You never know, I could have an iron deficiency.” 

“You don’t,” he easily dismissed. “And it's because I know that, that I know you suddenly being light on your feet isn’t something to look past.” 

Her eyes were taking him in with a soft expression that had him swallow thickly. 

“What?” 

“Nothing,” her plumped lips quirked up and then stepped away just as the door bell rang. 

She left to get it, leaving him with a flutter in his stomach. Something he would usually suppress, but with this Bonnie knowing how he felt, he suddenly had no reason to be ashamed of feeling it willingly around her. However, those feelings quickly bottled themselves up when Caroline and Elena came into the living space, followed by a hard face Bonnie whose eyes were trained at the back of Elena’s head. 

Elena also wore a similar look, her body appearing tense with her shoulders stiff and lips pursed with annoyance. 

“What are you guys doing here?” he looked between them. 

“Well...” Caroline started, trying to appear cheerful in the tense room. “Ric and Dorian found something. A spell that could work and bring Bonnie – our Bonnie-" She quickly turned to the Bonnie behind, rushing out, “And you. Both of you. To get both of you back where you belong.” 

“And you couldn’t just text this over?” he questioned. 

Caroline suddenly looked uncomfortable, her eyes bouncing between himself, Elena and Bonnie and then it became clear. She would have, but Elena wanted to bear witness to the spell. Meeting Bonnie’s eyes, he could see she had the same thought as she shook her head in disbelief and scoffed to herself at Elena’s eagerness. 

Going towards Caroline, she smiled at her and said, “Can I see, Care?” 

Caroline’s mouth parted, words lost as she stared at Bonnie, clearly trying to understand how this Bonnie wasn’t theirs. But where magic was concerned, Damon had come to terms not to question. 

Snapping out of it, she uttered out, “Sure,” cheerily, flipping through the pages of the small book to show her. 

Elena walked over, her doe eyes suspicious and face tight. “So, you slept here last night?” her question came out accusatory.

“No, I didn’t,” he answered, because it was technically the truth. “How'd you know I’d be here?” 

“Where else would you be?” she let out bitterly and he gritted his teeth because he walked right into that. “If you didn’t stay here, where did you go?” 

“Is it illegal to leave my house?” he found himself huffing and then sighed when seeing her eyes narrow. He really wasn’t helping the situation. “I went for a drive and then fell asleep in my car. I’ve been helping Bonnie since this morning.” And then out of common courtesy he asked, “Are you OK?” 

“No, Damon, I’m not,” she told flatly as she folded her arms and stared up at him. “This is hard for me. You do understand that, right? You can see why I’m not exactly thrilled with all this, especially with what’s been going on recently, can’t you?” 

He nodded. 

“Then why do you do things like you don’t understand my point?” 

“Like what? Helping to deal with a magical Freaky-Friday situation where our friend is in another reality?” he spoke sarcastically. “I think the situation is bigger than feelings and takes centre stage right now. How is that hard to understand?” his position on that matter clear. “We have things to talk about, Elena, I get it. But right now we should be focused on a way to get both Bonnie’s back. Not bitching about what our Bonnie is doing over there.” 

At that, Elena’s eyes widened with surprise. 

“Yeah, I heard.” 

Behind, Caroline cleared her throat and he looked up to see her and Bonnie standing side by side, watching his interaction with Elena. The two shared a look as if noticing the awkward vibe and then looked back towards him and Elena.

“The spell seems sound,” Bonnie told. 

He stepped forward. “Wait, you’re trying it now?” 

“Why not?” she shrugged. “Let’s see if it works.” 

“Bon...” 

“Damon,” Elena spoke. 

Jaw locked, he kept his eyes on Bonnie and eventually nodded as if to say, go ahead. She closed her eyes and he watched as her lips began to move as the incantation flowed out of her mouth. 

He wasn’t sure what to expect. The sudden howl of wind? Shit lighting on fire? Lights flickering? Yet, as he watched her, curled hair falling behind her and the fringe on her forehead, he was suddenly reminded of the girl he met all those years back and how much shit had happened and how far they had all come. How at one point he cared little about her; purely just keeping his promise to Emily in protecting the Bennett line. Though now, he would die for her easily and wanted to be the person who she could count on and never be disappointed with. Someone who could help and protect her, human or not. 

His heart was racing and he wasn’t aware of the tight fist he was making, waiting anxiously to see if the eyes that re-opened would belong to his Bonnie. A few more moments of the spell being spoken, Bonnie’s lips parted slightly and he held his breath...waiting. 

Pretty emeralds meeting his, the slightly edge of disappointment seeped through. 

It didn’t work. 

\- 

A knock to the door pulled her out of her thoughts just as it opened with Damon poking his head in. 

“Can I come in?” 

She nodded, watching him cross the guest room to sit at the edge of the queen sized bed. 

“I’m sorry,” she found herself saying. “I just needed some space.” 

“No need to apologise to me, Bon-Bon. Isn’t the first time you’ve been sick of me. I’d cry too,” he spoke jokingly, trying to cheer her up. 

She cracked a small smile. “Being you must be so exhausting.” 

“A price I’m willing to bare.” 

She released a small huff of laughter and looked at him with appreciation when seeing that this Damon wasn’t so far from her Damon at all. She guessed that’s what really made all this so overwhelming for her. 

“I tried the spell a few more times. It still isn’t working,” she told. 

“Then we’ll find another one that will.” 

She tilted her head, taking him in. “Don’t you miss her? Don't you want her back?” 

“Of course, I do,” he answered. “Do you know how hard it is to not be able to touch or kiss you because you might freak out?” She found her cheeks warming at that, but listened as he continued. “But I’ll rather find a way to do this properly. Safely, so both of you get back to where you’re meant to be without something going wrong or either of you hurting yourself. And like I said before, my Bonnie is fine. I know we're finding a way to sort this out on both sides, so I’m not so worried because I know I’ll get her back again.” 

“How can you be so sure?” 

He raised a brow. “You do know who we are, right? When have we ever not been able to find a way to fix things? Also, we literally have a library worth of spells and literature and people who will find something.” He smiled. “Maybe tomorrow we’ll go to Ric. Help him out at the Armoury and see if we can find anything worth while.” 

“The Armoury? Yours is still here?” 

“Why? Isn’t yours?” she saw a smirk forming on his lips. 

“It...blew up,” she told. 

Damon chuckled. “No Armoury, we're not together, I’m human. What’s next, Tyler’s somehow a hybrid again?” 

“Tyler?” her eyes widened. “He’s alive?” 

Damon looked momentarily speechless. 

“Who else? Is Sarah?” she wondered. This time Damon’s jaw dropped and eyes darkened. “Shit,” she found herself saying at the realisation. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t talk about anyone outside of us from now on,” he told, expression looking far away before he brought himself down and took her in. 

She agreed and a silence fell. Her heart was pounding fiercely at the realisation. Though they had traded timelines, everything had mainly been surface level; never truly going into a the details of all the nitty and gritty shit that occurred. About people they lost along the way. But now knowing that Tyler wasn't murdered by her best friend and Sarah Salvatore still lived, she felt saudade in her case, but Damon's...he appeared more disturbed. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about, Bon. We are in different realities, after all.” He reached forward, his hand taking hold of hers. “C'mon, let’s have a break. Do something fun and less depressing.” 

“Like?” 

“Reading through Stefan’s journals is always cheers me up.” 

“Damon.” 

“Awe, c'mon. Just a couple of entries.” 

She had little say before she was suddenly hauled up into his arms, having her yelp in surprise before he Vamp sped them out of the room. 

\- 

“Are you coming home?” Elena asked by the door where the cold November air filtered through as she adjusted her coat. 

“When I’m done here.” 

Her mouth parted, a resort at her tongue, however Caroline beat her to it with her approached from behind. “Keeping Bonnie company so she isn’t alone. It’s good. I think she appreciates that.” 

Elena made a face. 

“Can I quickly talk to you?” Caroline asked, shooting a look at Elena as she did so. Elena released a sharp huff, met Damon’s eyes and then went to the car before Caroline stood before him, her blue stare looking sympathetic. 

“What?” 

She pursed her lips. “Are you ok?” 

He was slightly taken aback, but covered it. “Yeah. Why?” he asked. 

“I’m just trying to look out for everyone. All this is...messy.” 

“You’re telling me,” he snorted. 

“Look, all that talk Elena was doing yesterday, she didn’t mean it. She was just venting.” 

“It’s what she felt. Don’t make it seem like it was anything else.” He ran a hand through his hair, his eyes darting towards the Prius where Elena was just settling into. “Look, I know you love to fix everything; that you want to help, but this is something me and her are going to have to work out.” He paused in thought. “Elena and I will sort something out. We always do. But right now I’m needed as a friend. Something she should be, but recently hasn't been.” 

“Can you blame her? With her worried about Bonnie's feelings for you and her being insecure and now this.” 

“I wouldn’t cheat.” 

“I know.” 

“Bonnie would never intentionally do anything either. Not even over there.” 

“I know.” 

“I can see where she’s coming from. I do. But right now isn’t about her. It’s about Bonnie. And I’m getting tired of having to defend our friendship. Having to sacrifice parts of my life for Elena's happiness and being given ultimatums. Everything I’ve done over the years has been for her. Everything. And what do I get for it? Doubt. Suspicion. It’s starting to get real tiring.” 

“No. No, I get it,” Caroline spoke. “I just don’t want any of this to end badly.” 

“Me too,” he agreed. “But we don’t always get want we want.” 

He frowned, jaw locked as his eyes looked over to his girlfriend sat waiting in the car and wondering how split they were and hated that he was seeing it. He had a bucket list of bad qualities, he could admit that. Though now his rose tinted glasses were fading, he was beginning to see hers too. 

“You should go,” he told Caroline, meeting her eyes once more. 

She looked as if she was going to argue, but chose not to. Nodding, she left the door entrance as he shut it and went back into the house, finding Bonnie sat on the couch waiting. 

She met his eye. He thought she was going to mention what she undoubtedly overheard echoing through her corridor, but instead she came out with, “Do you want to watch a movie?” 

\- 

“Will you have this dance with me?” 

They were in the kitchen, meals already eaten, wine already drank and dishes washed; boyz 2 men played softly in the background that had Bonnie humming along. Now, however, she was looking at Damon as if he had lost his mind. 

“What?” she stuttered out. 

“Dance with me,” he repeated, leaning off the counter with a glint in his eyes. “We do dance, don’t we?” 

'Not in months. Not since I told you how I felt. Not like this', she thought. She cleared her mind and replied, “It's been a while.” 

“That’s just tragic,” he said teasingly. “We have to change that.” Holding out his hand, she looked at it hesitantly feeling caught off guard. “Please?” 

There was a reluctance within her. I really shouldn’t. She knew how she felt, yet it just occurred to her that being with this Damon meant that he also knew in a way that wouldn’t bring out the familiar feeling of shame within her. That it would be something he would want and wouldn’t mind because he was in love and married to a version of her. Yet, it wouldn’t feel right. If anything, it would feel like she was taking advantage of the situation. 

“I really shouldn’t.” 

He sighed, his handsome face falling to something resembling disappointment. “You know, it’s OK to just let go once in a while, right? You’re suffocating yourself, Bon. I get it, you feel weird about all this, but it's not like we’re making out and fucking in our shower,” he told. “It’s OK to have something for yourself and just let go.” His eyes were earnest and calling and all so tempting. Hand out, he asked once more. “Will you dance with me?” 

Chewing her lip, she thought on it, looking at his inviting hand and then placed hers in it. He instantly held on and brought her close, his other hand falling to the small of her back. Her breath caught when seeing his bright eyes and gentle smile and she thought her heart would shoot out of her chest from its jackhammering beats. 

I shouldn’t be doing this. 

I shouldn’t be doing this. 

I shouldn’t be doing this...But her feet was already moving, her body swaying with his while her free hand held onto his shoulder as the music played. The whole thing brought her back to the much simpler days where she was the only one that knew her secret and she could love him without anyone knowing. How much more freedom they had when he and everyone else had been ignorant to her building emotions. Now it seemed that her emotions...her confession interfered with something it shouldn’t have and she was feeling regretful for it. That she should have tried harder to not love him. 

Yet, this close, dancing in his hold, it was understandable why she would. 

“See, this isn’t so bad, is it?” 

“I’m pretty sure you can hear how not fine I am.” 

He gave her a toothy grin, almost smug if anything. “The sound of your heart will never get old. But I have to admit that it’s boosting my ego that I’m making you so nervous.” 

She sent him a playful flat stare before looking away. Damon pulled her closer, having her head rest on his shoulder while his cheek rested on her head. His chest vibrated as he hummed along to the song, the mood sending wild flutters within her stomach. 

They danced through a couple more songs without her realising, them swaying, their steps in sync as the warmth from his body seeped into hers before he pulled back and twirled her. She giggled, suddenly feeling less weighed down as she enjoyed the moment for what it was rather than what it had been in the past or what it could be. 

“Fun fact, I mean, if you haven’t already tried it,“ he started, grabbing her attention as she looked up at him, awaiting how he was about the finish this sentence. “You’re pretty good on the pole,” he told. “Oh, and slow dancing isn’t the only thing we're good at.” 

“Yup, it was only a matter of time until you made a sly comment,” she spoke with humour. 

“Thought I’d put it out there.” 

“Noted,” she replied. Breaking away, she said, “I’m going to bed.” 

Moving back, Damon held onto her hand, stopping her. Stepping closer, he gently traced her cheek with his fingers and leaned forward to press a kiss to her forehead. 

“Night, Bonnie.” 

\- 

She was leaning into him, head on his shoulder and he was sure she was so used to doing it that she thought nothing of it as they watched the movie with the popcorn resting on his lap. 

A couple of times their hands brushed and he felt stupid for each sharp inhale he took, yet he couldn’t help it or help to see how good it felt. How it reminded him of how they used to be before he knew how she felt. That she felt comfortable enough to lean on him if she wanted without having to worry how he’d feel about it. The most she now did if they did have a movie night together was playfully rest her legs on him, demanding a foot rub. Though this, how it was now, being intimate without it feeling intimate had him missing it. Missing her. Missing them. 

Stuffing popcorn into his mouth, he chewed and continue to watch the TV, trying to distract his mind until he heard Bonnie’s breathing even out and looked down to see her eyes closed. 

Despite himself, he smiled debating whether or not he should stay in the position for little while longer, but argued against. Putting the popcorn aside, he shook her awake slightly and her eyes pried open, the sleepiness weighing heavy on her like a drug. Standing, he took her hand and helped her up. 

When tired, Bonnie could be pretty out of it, so he guided her upstairs and into her room. Leading her to the bed, he tucked her under the covers, watching as she easily fell under again without a care in the world. 

As he sat on the bed looking down at her, he wondered for the thousandth time how his Bonnie was. About what she was up to and how she was coping and what exactly was different. How different the other version of him was, or worse, how similar. 

Reaching forward, he brushed her cheek, her brown skin so soft beneath his touch and face so beautiful that matched equally to her heart. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to her forehead in a light touch; lingering there for a few seconds before sitting up. 

“Night, Bonnie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the Armoury didn't exactly blow up to the point of being destroyed, not even by Hell-fire apparently, but lets just pretend. Also, this chapter honestly felt filler-y, sorry. Got carried away with what's coming up next.  
> And speaking of, only three to four more chapters left. Don't know how people have the talent on writing twenty odd chapters and still keep it interesting. Literally a whole ass book. Bro, I solute you veterans.   
> As always, comments are awesome and makes me feel like I'm not wasting my time, so thanks for that along with the kudos. Means a lot.  
> K.


	10. Chapter 10

She stirred awake, her head feeling a dull ache that had her rest a hand to it and sighed. Prying her eyes open, she stared up at low ceilings than the high ones she was expecting. She shot up, looking around to find herself in her own bedroom than the one at the Boarding House. In a scrabble of motions Bonnie held out her hand, finding the wedding ring gone and then touched her hair, no longer feeling the braids there. 

She rushed out of the bed to the full length mirror. With her room darker from the drawn curtains, she could still make out her reflection. The same reflection she had been absent from for two whole days and she found herself sighing in relief that the spell actually worked. That it wasn’t one that worked immediately and it suddenly made sense that she had to wake up back into her reality like she had woken up in that. 

Wait, it is mine, isn’t it? She thought, almost panicked. 

Looking around in search of her phone, it was nowhere in sight so she left the room and went down stairs while taking note that things were in fact the same. She went into the living room finding a stack of grimoires neatly on the coffee table accompanied by her phone. She reached for it and entered the pin. Relief swelled when it was the same. For good measures she looked through the pictures, finding everything matching to how she had left it. 

I’m back. 

She fell back onto the sofa, not knowing what to think. She was glad that she was where she was meant to be, yet she found that she didn’t want to be there either. Had a kick of anxiety settle in on what happened while she had been switched and what to expect because she had a feeling it wouldn’t be good. 

“Damnit,” she whispered to herself. 

Minutes passed until she went to shower and change. It was early and she didn’t feel ready yet to make the announcement that she was herself again, so she left the house and walked away aimlessly in the early morning crisp air where plumes of smoke left her with each exhale. 

She didn’t want to think too much about what had happened and what might happen and what people could be thinking. She wanted her mind empty of that completely, so she just allowed her feet to go off on their own accord. It was only 20 minutes later did she realise she was in the town square. Hands in pockets, she strolled towards the Grill and entered the establishment that doused her in warm air. 

It was relatively empty, just having opened at 8:30. She found herself a seat in the corner and was soon served a hot chocolate by Marvin with a warm smile. She was glad things weren’t awkward between them despite how fast she ended whatever engagement they had begun. He was attractive, made her smile. but like most things with her recently, he wasn't enough. Sinking into her seat, she fingers wrapped around the steaming cup and sighed. 

“Bonnie?” 

She looked up to see blond hair, blue eyes and a Sheriff badge pinned to his uniform. 

“Matt, hey,” she smiled, genuinely happy to see him. 

He looked at her curiously as he stepped closer. “It’s safe to say that we’re friends in your reality, then?” 

She tilted her head, confused for a split second until it dawned on her. “No, Matt. It’s me. Me-me. I’m back.” 

“Bon?” 

“Mmhm.” 

“Damn, this is weird,” he exhaled with a laugh before closing the distance and giving her a hug from the seat beside her that he took. Leaning back, he looked at her to ask, “When did you...” 

“Get back?” she finished his sentence. He nodded. “Woke up in my own bed this morning,” she answered. “You didn’t...you didn’t see me, then? The other me.” 

He shook his head. “Nah. Only Damon, Elena and Caroline.” 

“Oh,” she nodded, though her stomach dropped. She sipped her hot chocolate to distract herself. 

“Are you ok?” 

“I’m fine.” 

“You sure?” he questioned again, his eyes worried. “I mean, that stuff is kinda trippy, Bon. Even for us.” 

“You’re telling me,” she chuckled, though it was more uncomfortable than anything else. “The last thing I needed was that.” 

“Well, it’s good to have you back,” he smiled and then added. “Urm, I was wondering. Are we still on for our date next Thursday? If you’re not up to it, I understand.” 

Her face screwed up, confused as heck to what he was saying and why. “What the hell are you talking about? We don’t have a date. We never did. You’re with Natalie. You’re expecting a baby, Matt. Wait...” she suddenly stopped, feeling a dread come over. “Fuck,” she swore, eyes wide. “I’m in the wrong reality. Shit, I fucked up. No, this can’t be happening. How is this happening?” she rushed out, about to stand when Matt put a hand to her arm. 

“Bonnie, relax. Relax. I was just testing you.” 

She stared at him; eyes wide. “Asshole!” she hit his chest repeatedly, relief swelling within. “I almost had fucking a heart attack.” 

His shoulder were shaking as his eyes shun with amusement. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Just wanted to make sure.” Shifting in her seat, she rolled her eyes and sipped her drink again as she utter obscenities under her breath that had him chuckle further. “Look, Bon, I’ve got to get to the station, but I’ll stop by later, all right?” 

Nodding, he gave her a parting hug and left. 

Soon enough, 30 minutes passed by and she was off again, strolling down the streets, going this way and that until she found her way back home to see a blue Camaro parked outside. She had it in her right mind to turn on her heels and leave, but the car wasn’t empty and Damon was already getting out, having spotted her. 

“Shit,” she muttered. 

Hands stuffed in her pockets, she continued forward as did he until they met each other half way. Short black hair, startling blue eyes and light stubble, she felt as if she had to catch her breath because he was looking at her with a concern and worry that was now so prominent with her Damon because they had a secret that was at the edge of being completely exposed, whereas the other Damon didn’t have a care in the world because he had not a god damn thing to hide. 

Home sweet home, she thought to her own detriment. 

“Hey,” she started. 

“Hey?” he mocked. “I came and you weren’t here. I couldn’t even call because you left your phone and then I had to get a text from Donovan that you’re you again. What the hell, Bonnie? Why didn’t you call me straight away?” 

“Because maybe I needed some time to myself?” she sassed. “Is that not allowed these days?” 

He gave her a flat look. 

“What?” she shrugged innocently. “I woke up in my own bed, had a lot on my mind and needed a walk, so I took one. I’m sorry if I wasn’t in the mood to announce my arrival when I don’t know what the heck could have happened while I was gone and didn't particularly want to find out so soon either.” 

His eyes met hers, taking in her words and by the small tick in his jaw she could tell something did happen. Though instead of disclosing, he reached forward and pulled her to him and embraced her into a hug with her face pressed against the puffiness of his coat. 

She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him back without thought. 

He smelt nice. The soap on his skin and cologne on his clothes mixing well. If anything, it was almost instinctual to breathe in deeper as if he was a calming scent despite him being the very reason for her inner turmoil which was why she broke away with a step back. 

Looking up at him, he reached for her, his fingers brushing against her face so sweetly she had to stop him before she forgot how lungs operated. She halted his hand, removing it from her. But before she could let it go, his fingers entwined with hers as they fell between them and she was now even closer to suffocating because ‘what the fuck?’ 

“Damon,” she spoke his name unsure. 

“Have a drive with me,” was his sudden suggestion, his expression calm, yet there was something brewing within his eyes. “Please.” 

She looked over to her house, then to the car that laid behind and then him, face so handsome that she knew this really wasn’t what she needed. Who she should be with right now after everything she just experienced. But even then, his presence was the only one she wanted in that moment. It was frustrating how Damon Salvatore could be such a dichotomy for her. 

After a moment of thought she finally agreed. He smiled, looking almost relieved before tugging her along, hands still linked until he opened the passenger side door for her and then rounded to his side. Buckled and ready, he started the engine and drove off. 

They sat in silence, the only sound being the rumble of the car between them as he drove with a single hand on the wheel and his eyes ahead. She looked away, leaning against the window as the streets of Mystic Falls passed by in a blur of houses and shops and people still making their way to work to start their week off. It was only when the tree lines replaced the building on both sides of the road did she have an inkling to where they were going, to which she wasn’t disappointed when he turned off the road and into the opened parking space surrounded by trees with a stone path ahead. 

He got out and she followed, rounding the car and walking beside him along the frosted ground. The sun peeking through the canopy of trees above, they eventually got the their destination as they stepped onto the bridge with the Falls before them, gushing down water from above and flowing down and beneath the bridge. 

The sun reflected off the surface of the water, making it look like it was sparkling. It was beautiful. She lent herself on the wooden banister, taking it in from the sight, to the scent of earth, to the rustle of branches and leaves from the light chilly wind. She was surrounded by nature and the magic within her was at ease. She hadn’t realised how constrained it felt, having not releasing it full blown in a while. But being at the Falls, it was a peace of mind she welcomed wholeheartedly. 

With a heavy sigh, without turning to him she spoke, “So, what’s the damage?” jokingly. 

“Well,” he started, taking the space beside her to look at the waterfall ahead. “You kissed me.” 

She chewed her cheek, already having an inkling that something like that could have been a possibility. 

“Elena saw. She thought it was you. I thought it was you at first.” 

“Bet she wasn’t happy about that.” 

“That’s putting it lightly, Bon Bon,” he chuckled. Rolling his shoulders, he added, “Apparently you thought I was your vampire hubby. That really made things awkward. Thanks for that.” 

She met his eye and saw amusement there. He looked relaxed, despite what he had just reviled and what arguments he must have been through because of the other 'her' actions and what she disclosed. 

“You went back home and I went with you. Helped you try to figure shit out,” he went on. “We talked. You basically told me you wanted to take me out for a test drive,” he winked at the implication that had her eyes widen. “-and then we just hung out.” Damon took her in, his pretty eyes roaming her face peculiarly. “Ric found a spell yesterday. You tried it, but we thought it didn’t work. I guess all we had to do what wait, huh?” 

“Same thing with me. The Ric there sent a spell to you. I tried it but nothing happened. It was...frustrating. I mean, I felt something when performing the spell. Like a weight was put on me and my head began to ache. Almost felt light headed, but when nothing happened...” she left the sentence open with a shrug.

She saw a small frown on his face. 

“What?” 

“You went through the same thing yesterday too, but before you said the spell.” 

“Maybe the affect was transferable because we’re linked?” she assumed and then looked before her again, watching the water crash down in gallons. “Do I need to ask how mad Elena is?” 

“She can stay mad,” was all he said. A brow quirked up at his comment as she looked over to him, waiting for him to elaborate. “We’ve been...off, recently. And since you kissed me and she found out about who you thought we were to each other, she hasn’t exactly been too helpful. Was more worried about what you could be doing over there where I was your. ..” he cut himself off. 

“I didn’t do anything,” she told, her irritation building, because of course that would be what Elena was worried about. “I wouldn’t do that.” 

His lips parted, a shadow of something flickered within his pale blue eyes before saying, “I know you wouldn’t.” 

She rolled her shoulders as she said. “If it helps, you weren’t the only one to be surprised. I woke up in your bed.” She avoided his eyes then, suddenly finding the falling leaves behind more interesting as she cleared her throat. “You were waking me up,” her voice went low, the embarrassment settling in. “In hindsight the way you did is 100 times more preferable than the way you-he, suggested, so,” she shuffled for a moment. “I freaked, obviously. Didn’t understand how I got there and why we were together. Why we'd sleep together and you were just looking at me like I was crazy. But then everything came together quick and I knew you were just as confused as I was and then I realised.” 

“So we both got a happy morning is what I’m getting from you,” he cracked a smile. She shoved him lightly and his eyes twinkled with mischief. “If you had told me your lips were so soft, I would have kissed you years ago,” he smirked. 

She hit him again. “Shut up.” 

They chuckled together for a moment until it died as they stood side by side. 

“You’re OK, right?” 

“As OK as I can be. I didn’t know how long I’d be stuck there. You were," she paused to correct herself. "He was great. It was just weird at times when he was looking and seeing me as his wife and not just as me.” 

“I know the feeling,” he agreed. 

For a moment the two took each other in with no words passing as her heart began to swell in her chest. She was thankful she was now dealing with the human Damon whose ears weren’t sensitive enough to hear it jack hammering away. And as close as they were, he stepped forward, closing the space between them shut. 

His hand finding its way in hers, she looked down, her body feeling hot and skin tingling when his fingers laced with hers. 

“W-what are you doing?” she stuttered, breath now audible to her own ear. She looked up and saw a contemplative expression and obvious confusion there. “Damon?” 

“I haven’t been honest with you, Bonnie. I haven’t been honest with myself about a lot of things and I just have to say it.” 

“Say what?” she asked nervously. 

His lips parted hesitantly and seeing it, seeing him, being so close was putting her mind into overdrive. 

“I have...I have feelings for you and it scares me because I don’t know when they started," he suddenly confessed. "I don’t know if they’ve always been there and I just didn’t realise because I was distracted. That I didn’t want them to be real.” 

What the fuck is going on?! 

“We spoke yesterday. You let me talk until I said things I didn’t even realise I felt and I don’t know what to do.” His face was so close to hers, she could feel the warmth from his breath fanning her lips. “Since you kissed me, I haven’t thought of anything else because all I want is for it to happen again. I almost did let it happen again, but then even though she was you, she wasn’t my you.” 

'This had to be a goddamn joke! He can’t be serious right now. Can’t be saying this to me now after everything. What’s he thinking pulling shit like this?' Yet as she thought all this she felt paralyzed by him. 

“I’m confused, Bon,” he breathed, his forehead resting on hers and she froze. “Maybe if we...if I...I’d know for sure and...” His free hand cupped her face, his thumb lightly grazing along her bottom lip . 

A spark of desire of want and need shot to the forefront and she wanted so badly to move closer and take what she’s craved for so long; but any will she had left was crumbling by the second and was becoming increasingly difficult to not just give in. 

With everything she had, she pushed him away, saying, “I can’t do this,” with effort and left, her legs walking fast and her arms wrapped around herself as she her chest raised and fell in quick succession until she realised she was running. Literally running away, her mind frazzled and body hot. The wind around was howling. Whether it was natural or a result of her, she didn’t care. All she knew was that she needed to get away before she finally did something stupid.

She stopped at the sight of Damon’s car, her hands leaning against it to catch her breath because what just happened couldn’t be real. He didn’t mean- 

“Bonnie!” 

Fist tightened and jaw locked, she turned, wanting to yell at him but instead found herself pushed back against the car, his body pressing firmly against hers and his mouth on her lips in a hard kiss she wasn’t expecting. She made a sound of surprise, her hand flat to his chest. Even with the puffiness of his coat, she felt each and every hard thump of his heart. 

His lips were smooth and firm and even though she knew she shouldn’t, she was already pressing back into the kiss. The moment her lips parted, he dived in; his tongue roaming her mouth that had her knees go weak. Hands around his neck, she faintly heard the car door open and Damon was leading her back with his hands wrapped around her, keeping her steady until her back was pressed back against the leather of the back seats. He was hovering over her, mouth assaulting hers in ways that honestly felt criminal. Her legs parted and he wasted no time to settle himself between them, resting some of his weight on her that had her almost choke because she was suddenly feeling hot. 

This wasn’t right. 

I have to stop. 

I need to stop. 

Every thought that entered her mind immediately flew out when he was kissing her just as desperately as she was him. That he was willingly giving her all this attention and it was mind blowing. Exhilarating. Too fucking good that it had her toes curl and core ache with want and her hands were unzipping his coat because it was a barrier she needed to get rid off and he allowed it, carelessly shrugging it off with her help 

She wanted him. 

She wanted to be with him more than this. 

She wanted their bodies together bare and forget everything and everyone else. 

She wanted to drown in him, because Damon Salvatore was killing her if anything else. 

Her hands were gripping his hair tightly and his lower half was grinding into her. She could feel the shift in him. Could feel his want building just as much as hers and at this point she was dangling over the edge, playing dangerously with her life. They parted for a breath, but he didn’t stop, instantly finding her neck to suck and bite and fuck she couldn’t help the sounds that reverberated in the car before he swallowed them in his mouth, reclaiming her lips. 

They shifted, somehow within the confined space their positions changed. It was all a blur of motion, as if he weren’t simply human and had his vamperic capabilities, but maybe it was just Damon. Either way she was on top, pressing herself against him and grinding like a fucking cat in heat. Shame be gone, because her mind was lost. 

“Bonnie,” he uttered between kisses, his voice breathless with need. Hands under her clothes, his touch was cold on her bare skin. “Fuck, Bonnie,” he moaned into her mouth, just as worked up. 

She liked hearing her name on his lips. Liked it too much because she found she didn’t want to hear anything else but him. To have him like this with her forever, but... 

He isn’t mine. 

Like a floodgate, reality rushed in and she sat up on his lap. “Damon,” she shuttered out breathlessly as he followed her up, his lips attaching to her neck again and sucked with her wrapped up in his arms. “We have to stop.” Even to her own ears, the words weren’t convincing, but she tried again, this time pushing herself off in a haste and scrambling out of the car and back out into the open. 

He stumbled out seconds later like he had been doused in cold water as he looked at her with dilated eyes filled to the brim with lust all dishevelled and inviting and it was a look she had fantasised about, but never thought could happen. 

They were both breathing hard, but as the seconds dragged and their eyes locked, she saw his expression morph from one emotion to the next until finally...finally settling on guilt. 

He realised what he had done. What they both had done and she felt like she had finally let herself fall over the edge and was plummeting...fast. Her chest hurt seeing the regret bubbling up within him. 

“Bonnie...” 

“Why would you...? You know that...Fuck, Damon!” Her frustration was boiling. “I didn’t want this to happen. I don’t do this and you just...! Saying all that to me when you know how I feel!” 

“Bonnie, I’m...” 

“No!” she snapped. “Don’t you dare apologise when you did that shit on purpose! Fuck you, Damon. Fuck you for pulling that shit knowing that’s all I wanted. That you’re all I want! And after all those talks of saying you love me and wanted what was best and how you’re my friend and respect me, you pull this shit?” 

She was pacing, her anger leaking out. 

“You know what’s worse? You’ve made me out to be a liar. Now I can’t even say I haven’t done anything inappropriate that could fuck up your relationship and this just proves Elena right!” 

“Bonnie!” he grabbed hold of her upper arm. Face worried and serious, he said, “I’m not with Elena!” 

She stared up at him blankly. What did he just say? 

“I’m not with her,” he repeated, his hands cupping her cheeks. “I’m not. I wouldn’t have done that if I was. You should know that. You should know that I wouldn’t put you in that position either,” he told, eyes searching. “I should have told you at the bridge. I should have made it clear to you that me and her aren't together. I got home yesterday and we had an argument about you. The other you. What it all meant. Then she said we should have a break and I thought it was a good idea too. I had to do it. I needed space apart to think, so I told her as much. And then I saw you this morning, found out you were you and all I wanted was to be with you. To not think about anything or anyone else.” 

“I am in the wrong reality,” she muttered out, eyes wide. 

He chuckled. “No. No, you’re not. I’m real. This is real.” He licked his lips, his hand falling from her face to glide down her arm and then held her hands in his. “I’m sorry I confused you. But I’m not sorry I kissed you. I meant it. And if you’d let me, I’d do it again.” 

“This isn’t right,” she said, though her heart fluttered. “You can’t do this when you literally just broke up with Elena.” 

“I can and I will if you allow it,” he stated plainly. “Bonnie, shit between me and her hasn’t been right for a long time. I can admit it. I wanted it to work. I needed it to work, so anything I could feel for you I wouldn’t allow myself. I also don’t want to hurt you, Bon. You know my track record; I’m no good at this. Keep messing shit up and what we have, I don’t want to let it go, so I didn’t want to get involved when you can do so much better than me. I’m afraid to lose you. So, I rather have you as a best friend than break your heart.” 

“Then what changed?” 

“You. Literally,” he smiled. “I saw something that I was afraid of wanting being real. That making one mistake; by desiccating, I fucked up something special.” Keeping her locked with his blue gaze, his tone was truthful when he said, “I’m done fucking up.” 

Bonnie glanced down at her hands held in his, needing something desperately to distract her from his focused stare. To distract her from his words. To distract her from how hard her heart was beating because Damon Salvatore, her Damon Salvatore, was saying he wanted to be with her. 

“Bon,” he called her softly. 

Chewing on the inside of her cheek, she exhaled sharply and took a single step back as she removed her hands out of his. He reached for her, but she held up a hand, stopping him as she met his eyes. She needed the physical space where he wasn’t touching her for her mind to think clearly. He paused, lips pink from their kiss parted before dropping his hand and standing straighter, waiting for her response with hesitant eyes. 

“I love you, Damon,” she finally spoke. And in saying those words, she could see the brightness in his eyes and the smile beginning to spread to his lips. He looked like he was about to speak, but she quickly added, “But...” Because there was always a but with these things, right? “I can’t jump into anything with you. Can’t when only a few minutes ago you said that you were confused and didn’t even understand your feelings towards me. Damon, you’re still working them out. You’re not sure how you actually feel because right now you’re just going off emotion. You said you wanted to 'know for sure' back at the bridge. 'Know' what, Damon? That's you'd feel something if we kissed? I'm not some experiment. I won't be.” His smile had dropped and a disapproving frown was starting to etch on his handsome face as if he was about to argue her claims. Bonnie went on. “Look, you just broke up with Elena. You can’t jump from one person to the other without processing everything first. I know what I want. But can you honestly say the same?” 

“You're not a experiment, Bon. I know that there’s something between us. And it might have taken an alternate version of you to give me the courage to acknowledge this...to do this, but I'm here. And I'm ready.” 

“Damon-” 

“I am,” he spoke defiantly. “I want this. I want you; I do. Because when I look back at it, you’re the person I'm always thinking of. You’re the one I can just be myself around. You’re the person who has been in front of me this entire time and at this point, honestly Bon, I feel like we’re meant to be and I'm done trying to deny it. I'm done.” 

Her throat began to ache and she fought the sting of her eyes as Damon stepped closer, crowding her space once more as he looked down at her with determination wrapped up in his honesty. 

Damon’s hands reached her, brushing her cheeks with a feather touch. “If you need me to prove how serious I am, I will. If you need time to think about this - to think about us, I'll give you that.” He bit his bottom lip as if hesitant on whatever he planned to say next. “I think it’s obvious by now that my perception of love is a little skewed.” Bonnie chuckled lightly, and Damon smiled in return. “I’m starting to realise loving someone doesn’t always fit the mould of how you perceive it. That it can look different.” Pause. “You’re the difference, Bonnie. You confused me.” Her heart jumped at his insinuation. “I won’t say anything now until I'm sure you’ll believe me, so all I can really say is that I want to be with you. And I'm almost positive you’re going to want some space between us as if I'm going to change my mind. If not, then to spare Elena’s feelings. But before you say anything, can I just...” 

His gaze dropped to her lips and her stomach flipped. His question was evident and his eyes momentarily flickered to meet her, questioning. Besides her chest rising with anticipation, Bonnie watched almost wide eyed as Damon got closer. She wanted this. She wanted his mouth on hers again, but despite everything he had just confessed, him and Elena weren’t over. They were just taking a break. And as much as she wanted this, it wasn’t the same when Damon wasn’t completely single without strings or Elena waiting expectantly for him on the other side of this. 

Hand to his cotton covered chest, the word, “Stop,” was barely above a whisper, but Damon pause all the same, a slight worry shining in his blue eyes. “Can you just drive me home?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...that just happened. We're 10 chapters deep and we finally get some action. God damn, this is lowkey slow-burn. Hopefully this was OK.  
> K.


	11. Chapter 11

She took the hot mug from Caroline, thanking her as she settle herself beside Bonnie on the couch. The warmth seeping into her palms, Bonnie took a sip; anything to prolong the discussion she all ready knew was long overdue. And Caroline, practically fidgeting in her seat to stop herself from bombarding Bonnie with questions, waited patiently. 

“I don’t know where to start,” she began, half anxious. 

“Bonnie, it’s me. Start where you want.” 

Bonnie looked at Caroline, worried that those understanding eyes of hers would somewhat change and look at her differently. But with a sharp breath, Bonnie finally began from the beginning. Explaining how she didn’t know when her feelings started for Damon, yet they continued, resulting in her ending things with Enzo, to how her feelings had gotten so bad that she essentially ran away. Caroline’s mouth parted, wanting to say something but argued against it as she let Bonnie continue. 

She spoke of confessing to Damon and how things were slightly awkward but essentially went back to normal between them and then taking small notice of Elena’s behaviour when Bonnie and Damon were together. 

“What?” Bonnie asked, watching Caroline’s brows furrow slightly. 

“You remember when Damon took the cure and then ignored you for the two weeks?” 

Bonnie lips turned down, annoyed from the memory. “Yeah. Why?” 

“Well, when you weren’t at the table I told Damon that you weren’t exactly happy with him and Elena didn’t understand why. When I said that he’s basically been ignoring you for the last two weeks, she saw it as much needed space between the two of you. How she liked having him around more,” she explained. “She didn’t see it, but Damon didn’t look like he liked what she said. Like he was going to say something, but didn't. He stayed quiet until you came back and saw that you were leaving.” 

Bonnie shook her head, drinking more of her tea and then said, “I’m not blind. I know we spend a lot of time together. But, its just how things are and have been for a long time. What? Does she expect him to stay alone all day, waiting for her to come home? Stefan had been helping you with the school, so he’s busy and Ric is between Whitmore and your girls. With my work, I’m close, I'm home and my time is generally a lot more flexible to work around.” 

“And I completely get that. Elena, however," she trailed off. "Look, I’m not picking sides here. But you can see why she would feel a certain way, right? She works all the time and when she comes home, she might just want some alone time with him. And that couldn’t exactly happen when you two are practically joined at the hip.” She frowned, but added, “The issue was, she never outwardly told you or him that before. Well, not until our failed girls' night. She might have vented to me here and there, but I’m not the one she needed to talk to. I'm not the one that needed to hear it. Damon was, because he's the one in the relationship. Then once some form of boundaries was set and if she still felt weird about you two, then she should have also pulled you aside and let you know.” 

“Well, she finally got everything off her chest,” Bonnie rolled her eyes and slouched back. Brows furrowed, they began to ease, the guilt of making Elena out as if she was imagining the whole thing up wasn’t Bonnie’s finest moment. All Elena wanted was her boyfriend and Bonnie had been standing in her way despite never seeing it as such. “I haven’t forgotten, ya’know," she glanced at Caroline. "Elena said that you could see it too. Was it that obvious? How I felt about him?” she clarified with some discomfort. The thought of her actions being plain to see was mortifying and she was certain it showed on her face when repeating, "Was it obvious?" with a hint of dread. 

Caroline pursed her lips, expression sympathetic. 

“It was?” Bonnie spoke, slightly wide-eyed with embarrassment. 

“No. No. No,” Caroline shook her head. “Not at first. Didn’t have a clue. Definitely not before you went away. I wish I had known. I wish I could have helped or given you some advice or something. Anything.” She rested a comforting hand on Bonnie’s arms and Bonnie could only muster a defeated smile. 

“There’s nothing you could have done. Trust me.” She exhaled a sharp breath. “So, when did you start to suspect?” 

She removed her hand, resting her now empty mug on Bonnie’s coffee table. “Well, Elena started to mention it a few times after he took the cure. We’ve all been hanging out separately mostly, so there wasn’t much of a chance to see it often, but there was this one time. Do you remember when there was the outdoor cinema in the town square?” 

_ 

She would have rather an action or fantasy film, but instead she was watching a rom-com called The Lovebirds that she was surprisingly into, because there weren't many despite popular belief. Chewing on a gummy sweet, she chuckled when Issa Rae’s character was interrogating the frat boy. A shuffle beside her, she saw Damon settling himself on her blanket with a brown bag of popcorn, having her raise a brow at him. 

“What are you doing?” she half whispered. 

“Elena and some of her medical friends are talking too much about stuff that I really don't care about. It's mind numbing, Bon. Can barely pay attention to the damn movie. So, thought I'd come sit with you instead.” 

Bonnie glanced back, past Matt who had a hardly showing Natalie resting between his legs comfortably, towards where Elena was. Bonnie caught her eyes from the illumination of the giant outdoor screen, catching the frown on her lips before one of her friends spoke something that forced her attention away. 

Bonnie looked back at Damon who was already leaning back on his hand while the other threw popcorn into his mouth as he watched the film with a small smile at the scene playing out before them. He’s seemed a lot more...relaxed since she’s given him his ring. Like he was less on edge and antsy about merely living. She was glad for that. 

“You should go back. Keep her company,” she advised between them. 

“She’s already got company. Three of them. And one of them is giving me ‘I wanna fuck you’ vibes. He's not my type though, so.” 

Bonnie snorted and Damon beamed at her with mischief. Offering her some of his popcorn despite her own being there, she took one and then offered him her sweets, watching him grab a few. Giving her a toothy grin, he sent a wink her way and she shook her head with amusement before refocusing on the screen. 

Throughout the film they made minor commentary, chuckling at the absurdity of some of the scenes while sharing snacks until he spilt her remaining popcorn, luckily on the blanket. She smacked his arm and he threw the fallen pieces at her in retaliation. He smirked, eyes bright until she discreetly had a handful worthy amount to fly into his face. He looked momentarily stunned before a warm, deep laugh escaped his lips. 

“Shh!” An older woman ahead of them turned to give them a look before linking arms with her husband once more. 

Bonnie met Damon’s eyes and the two chuckled silently between them until he leaned in to suggest, “What do you say to using your magic again to throw popcorn at her instead?” 

“Please don’t give me any bad ideas,” she spoke, reaching to remove the single popcorn caught in is hair and threw it aside. 

His eyes were trained on her as he whispered back, “But bad ideas are the best ideas." 

“Just pay attention to the show, Damon.” 

He grinned, leaning over the steal her drink and turned so he could rest his back annoyingly against her shoulder and continued to watch the last few minutes of the film. 

\- 

Bonnie frowned, not seeing anything out of the ordinary, but that was just her perspective. And as Caroline said, the gang hardly spent time together in group settings, so her and Damon’s interactions could be seen differently in a way she was oblivious to. 

“The two of you were together the whole night after he left Elena to go sit with you.” 

“I told him to go back. I told him again after the movie was over too,” Bonnie defended. 

“I know,” Caroline, nodded. “I heard. But that was the first moment I started to see it. That I heard it. The way your heart would beat a little faster when he smiled or touched you. You’ve got a good poker face, Bonnie, but your heart doesn’t lie,” she exposed with a knowing stare, paused as if hesitant and then admitted, “And neither does his.” 

Bonnie’s heart stuttered and Caroline made a face to indicate that she heard it too. Following Caroline to rest her own mug down as well, Bonnie kept her eyes diverted from her friend as she fiddled with her fingers feeling slightly sick because Caroline just confessed that Damon could have started to feel whatever it was he thinks he’s feeling for her a couple months back and didn’t know it. 

“The point is, I just began to see it, but Elena has been seeing it longer and it’s why she’s been so on edge with you and him being so close. Why she’s been acting out and wanting things to happen th-” 

“Like her wanting him to cut me out of his life,” Bonnie assumed. 

Caroline gave her a nod with her own disapproval apparent. “But like I said, she didn’t let either of you know how she felt and because of that you two continued like you normally do and she just got more worked up. Like you wanted to take him from her.” 

“He’s not an object to take, Care,” she argued. “And I wouldn’t have. All this time I've just been trying to be his friend and nothing more. I’ve tried to move on. Go on dates. See new people. You remember Marvin from the Grill? I’ve even distracted myself with Enzo, which is horrible; but it’s something to take my mind of Damon because he’s with her. He wants her and I wouldn’t do anything to fuck that up for them. I haven’t acted on anything this entire time. Not until...” 

Caroline began to frown. “Bonnie,” she spoke warningly. “What happened?” 

Bonnie took a deep breath, her body suddenly feeling fidgety, having her shuffle before meeting her childhood friend’s eyes. “We kissed.” 

“What!” her eyes bugged out; disbelief clear. “Bonnieee,” she dragged her name as if disappointed and she couldn’t blame Caroline if she was. “When did this happen? Specifics. Time. Place. When?” 

Bonnie told her everything from the moment she woke up in her own bed again. How after taking a morning stroll to clear her head of the craziness, she came back to find Damon waiting for her. How he seemed a little different, but she couldn’t exactly say how. She told Caroline that they drove to the Falls and talked until Damon confessed that he had feelings for her. That the other version of her kissing him made him realise it and how much he wanted to be kissing the real her. 

“And then what?” Caroline urged on the edge of her seat as she listened intently to each and every word Bonnie spoke. 

“Then I ran away. I needed space, Care. It was just too much to hear, ya’know? I made my way back to the car and he caught up and then he just...” she left it opened for interpretation because clearly what happened next was evident. “I kissed him back,” she sighed feeling defeated. “I know I shouldn’t have. I do. But it’s something I've wanted for so long and since I was already there and he was already kissing me, I just...gave in. I should have stopped it. And I did,” she quickly added at the end. “I stopped it when I fully realise what I was doing and I yelled at him because yes, I may have lied to Elena, telling her I didn’t feel anything for him, but I would never ever go after him while they were togeth-” 

“They’re on a break,” Caroline interjected. “The night before, Elena called me crying saying that her and Damon got into an argument when he got home. She didn’t mean it, but she said that maybe they just needed time apart and Damon didn’t argue. He just agreed, saying that he thought it would be the best for the both of them. To have some time apart so they can think things through and if they still worked. Then he left the house.” 

Bonnie’s face fell into her hand and groaned. 

Elena didn’t actually want a break. It was something she said in the heat of the moment, but Damon had taken it for what it was and went with it. She couldn’t exactly say why, because it wasn’t as if he had known the spell would have worked and she would be back to herself to confess everything he had. He had done it knowing at the time she was in another reality, so if anything, it meant that he was doing it for himself, right? 

The mental gymnastics she was spinning to try to make this work and sound plausible was somewhat desperate. 

“He says he wants to be with me,” she confessed and she looked up to see Caroline’s mouth gaping. Bonnie sat up, straightening her posture. “And I want to be with him,” she went on, her features becoming sombre. “But I can’t. Not when him and Elena aren't completely over. Nothing is official. Everything is still up in the air. And he can say all these things to me now, but how can he know? How can I even know how he feels when he’s admitted that he’s just as confused?” she vented. “I don’t want to be a stand in for him. I don’t want to have him only to have to let him go because he realised that it’s not me who he wants. That it’s her. Then everything would be ruin. The remaining of whatever my relationship with Elena is. My relationship with him. I wouldn’t be able to handle that, Care. Not all at once.” 

Her throat was beginning to ache and she willed the sting in her eyes to remain just that and nothing more because God knows she’s done enough self-pity crying over Damon Salvatore. 

With an overwhelmed fake tight smile, she looked at the sympathetic face of Caroline to say, “I’m going to tell her in a few days.” 

“What?" she was shaking her head. "No. I don’t think that’s the best idea, Bonnie. Look, how about we just work this out together? Now I'm in the loop, I'm positive I can help you get through this. Have a friend-tervention.” 

“Thanks, Care, but no. No, I have to do this. I’ve already lied too much. I’ve now also done too much. It’s not fair. Look, I'm not happy about how she's been acting, but everything she’s done has been out of suspicion and rightfully so. I’ve just been too scared to let anyone know. I didn’t want it to change anything, but now things are changing and I don’t know which direction it will take. It’s why I called you over. So you’ll know what’s happening. So you can be there for her to vent to and confide in because that hasn’t been me in a long time.” 

“Bonnie...” 

“Care, it’s fine,” Bonnie spoke, making her voice steadier than what she actually felt in that moment. “Whatever happens, happens.” 

\- 

Elena sat across the table from her, still in her scrubs after a shift at the hospital. Hair tied back and a shadow of dark circles under her eyes, in any other setting, maybe weeks, months, heck, even years back, Bonnie would smile because her childhood friend was in the process of becoming a doctor like she’s always wanted. But looking at the shadows under her eyes, Bonnie wasn’t sure if it was due to the long shifts or a lack of sleep to do with why they were meeting. 

Bonnie didn’t fake any pleasantries as she sipped her water. They were both long passed pretending at this point. She would say her peace, take whatever Elena threw at her and be done with it. 

They haven’t seen each other since the Thanksgiving celebration held in the very place they now sat over a week and a half ago. Bonnie oddly found that she didn’t particularly care that Elena hadn’t reached out upon her return. With the situation lingering above them and weird magical switch, to her and Damon’s break; making out that she was happy to see Bonnie whatsoever wouldn’t make sense. And now sitting across her childhood friend that in the past she’d do anything for - fuck - 'has' done way more than any one person should, Bonnie was only just now coming to the realisation that she wasn’t exactly torn up about it. 

‘...not all friendships and relationships lasts. Sometimes people need to leave for us to grow. To evolve. But it’s not a bad thing to outgrow each other,’ Stefan from the other reality words suddenly became extremely relevant. 

“So, what is it that want that you couldn’t just text?” Her tone was already confrontational and Bonnie’s eyes narrowed. 

She wanted to snap back, but seeming what she brought Elena here to say, she let it slide and instead said, keeping her voice neutral, “I asked you to meet because what I have to say shouldn’t be done over text. I wanted to talk to you in person.” 

Elena leaned back against the chair in a way that was almost Katherine in nature. As if it was intimidating. Either that or she was just preparing herself. 

She chewed the inside of her cheek, eyes taking Bonnie in as if trying to read her mind until finally saying, “Go on. Talk.” 

Again, her tone was off. It felt dismissive. As if she would rather be anywhere else. Maybe that was one thing her and Bonnie could bond over. 

How exactly they had gotten this fractured, Bonnie couldn’t say. Despite noticing a slight shift in Elena’s behaviour, they weren’t on any bad terms. Everything had been fine on Bonnie’s end. Until their argument that came out left field, that is. And even then, Bonnie had told Damon to be there for Elena. To talk to her and listen because Bonnie wasn’t looking for a fight. 

Leaning forward with her hands clasped and resting on the table, she simply started with, “You were right.” 

Elena immediately tensed as her eyes turned into slits and jaw clenched. “About what, exactly?” her voice shook with apprehension. 

Bonnie answered flatly as she answered, “Me. You were right about me. About how I felt. I lied. When you asked me if I was in love with Damon, I lied.” If she looked close enough, she thought she could see Elena ball her fist beneath her folded arms. “I should have said something before, but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. I thought I could deal with it on my own and I tried to. Tried to stop them, but nothing’s help.” 

It fell quiet between them, the only sounds around were the chatter from the few afternoon customers and the clatter of plates and glasses from the staff within the Grill. 

She registered that the nerves she thought she’d feel were nowhere in sight. She had felt more nervous coming out to Caroline and maybe that spoke volume of how far her own friendship with Elena had shifted without realising. So as she sat there, staring at Elena, all Bonnie seemed to be experiencing was feeling more resigned than anything else. She wanted to get this off her chest and leave. 

“You made it out like I was just seeing things. Like I was crazy,” Elena gritted out. 

“I know.” 

“I asked you to your face and you lied to me.” 

“I know.” 

“Why?” she demanded, her posture stiff. 

“I didn’t want you to know,” she revealed. “I didn’t want anyone to and I certainly wasn’t going to admit to shit when I felt cornered.” 

“But now suddenly you want to tell the truth?” she scoffed, her brown eyes watching with contempt. “Does Damon know?” 

Bonnie nodded. 

Elena looked offended at the revelation until that looked morphed into a sneer as she took Bonnie in. “This is unbelievable,” she muttered to herself and then asked louder, “When did he find out?” 

“When I came back from travelling.” 

She huffed without humour, arms folding tighter within herself as she sat straighter in her chair. “So, you’re telling me that while I was happy to have my best friend back, you were upstairs confessing to my boyfriend? And he’s known this entire time too? For what...five, six months?” her voice was rising slightly, her composure slipping by the second. “This is fucking insane. I don’t even know who you are anymore. I trusted you and this is what you do to me? Me? After what I gave up for you.” 

“Gave up?” Bonnie repeated, her confusion clear. 

“I was in a coma so you could live, Bonnie. I told you to live your life and if I hadn’t woken up, you would have just been getting all comfy with him, wouldn’t you?” 

Bonnie’s brows raised. She felt taken aback. Was Elena really bringing up the one decent thing she...well, she didn’t even do anything out of her own volition. It was forced on her. Forced on them both. If Bonnie should be thanking anyone, it would have been Damon for not snapping her neck to break the link so he could have his girlfriend back. Though the fact that Elena thought her telling Bonnie to live her life held the same weight as perhaps, dying to protect everyone over and over again or simply just being seen as a another tool to be used for her magic and nothing else was ridiculously hilarious. 

Dismissing Elena's point, Bonnie snapped, “I didn’t do shit. I went away in the first place for you. For the both of you. Because yeah, you were my best friend and so is he. I hated feeling the way I did. All I wanted was for you two to be happy. For everything to go back to normal. I fucking wished it would, you have no idea. So I left, hoping I wouldn’t feel so damn bitter. I left, Elena.” 

“Then you should have stayed gone.” 

Bonnie’s mouth parted in surprise at the venom in Elena’s words before a flash of heat ignited in her chest. Taking a calm breath, her face remained poise. 

“Out of everyone, you should understand the most about how complicated emotions can be. How they’re something that you can't always control. You were still with Stefan when you fell Damon, were you not? You were still with Stefan when you kissed Damon, were you not? The same day you two broke up, you fucked Damon. You did all that bullshit without a thought of Stefan’s feelings or how it could have messed up Damon if you suddenly changed your mind once again or the fact that you were doing the same God damn thing as Katherine was by repeating history. And you said it yourself, the sire bond couldn't even be blamed for it. You did all that for you. Because you wanted to do it,” she listed. “And while with one brother or the other, you played with their feelings. Toyed with them. Tried to put your own wills and morals onto them, forcing them to be people they weren’t. Holding them back.” 

Bonnie had had those thoughts for years, but never had she ever said them aloud until now. Before she felt like she had to just listen and comfort Elena and all the romantic bullshit she brought onto herself; never once putting things into perspective to her. Instead Bonnie chose to resent Damon and even Stefan for bringing all this into their lives, but Elena had just a big a part to play in how everything unfolded. She knew the hold she had and used it to her advantage. To this day, still playing on peoples emotions to get her way, voluntary or not, because she was Elena Gilbert and if you loved her you should do anything for her. And that was what Bonnie had done for years and even recently enough to have Bonnie wanting to remove herself for mostly the sake of other peoples. To spare other people's feelings if her fucking secret got out than doing what was importing and just focusing solely on herself. 

“The difference between me and you, Elena, is that I’ve always put others before myself no matter what. I’ve put myself in ridiculous position to protect you and this town no matter what. Died...twice, both out of my control compared to that little stunt you pulled and got yourself blown up. Maybe if you hadn’t, you wouldn’t have needed to pass through and Damon would have come back like planned. I would have gone into 1904 on my own and my friendship with Damon wouldn’t have started,” she voiced the hypothetical with slight mockery. Huffing out a breath, she went on with, “I can promise you that I never once came onto him. I never once did anything wilfully inappropriate that was something we didn’t already do as friends. Because that’s who he is to me. My best friend. I never wanted to do anything to sabotage your relationship because I respect you, Elena, and him, enough to put my feelings aside so you two could just be while I suffered in silence.” 

Elena was stiff as Bonnie spoke. Listening, but Bonnie wasn’t too sure if she was actually hearing the words themselves when whatever she was feeling was so clearly clouding her eyes. As if she didn’t want to recount or admit that she had participated in some fuck shit in the past. That she couldn’t judge Bonnie for falling for someone she shouldn’t when Elena had experienced and participated in the very same thing at the further degree. 

“I know what I’ve done, Bonnie. It was the most confusing times of my life. But we’re not talking about me or the past. We’re talking about you and now. So tell me, what made you want to finally admit it?” she spoke through her teeth, seemingly dismissing everything Bonnie had said as if they lacked relevance. 

This annoyed Bonnie, because making similarities from past events to the present should give a person perspective. At least some understanding and sympathy to shed light on the situation. But she skipped right over that as if Bonnie hadn’t even spoken. And it was because of that why Bonnie no longer felt like easing the blow. 

Without a beat, she said, “Damon and I kissed.” 

A multitude of emotions shifted across Elena’s face. From shock to disbelief, to betrayal and then finally settling on anger. 

“Look,” Bonnie picked up quickly, “it happened the day I got back from the other reality. We were talking. Things were said and then we kissed.” She shouldn’t have, but she couldn’t help the snarky comment of, “If it makes you feel any better, I felt horrible about it,” to follow. Leaning back into her chair, she stared dead at Elena. “I found out after that you two had split the previous night. It still doesn’t make it right. I know that,” she admitted. “After everything, no matter how I felt about him, I didn’t want to do anything to fuck shit up. But then that happened. So, that’s why I asked you here. To tell you to your-" 

The lukewarm water drenched her before she could complete her sentence, soaking her and her upper chest. Wiping her face and hearing the gasp from a few tables down, Bonnie opened her eyes to see Elena slam the glass down while standing. 

“So you really had the audacity to tell me that you respect me and how different you are from me just to say that you kissed my boyfriend?” she snapped, voice raised. “Saint Bonnie that can do no wrong,” she mocked, features sharp, “I have to say this is pretty fucked up.” She was grabbing her things as words dripped from her. “I bet this whole time while I’ve been at Cares you haven’t wasted a single minute to jump into his bed. I mean, he’s Damon Salvatore. Who can resist? I mean, I couldn’t, right?” she spat. “What? Do you think he'd really want to be with you? This is Damon we're talking about. He says one thing and he means the other. He doesn’t know what he wants, but I highly doubt it’s you or even me at this point. I guess we just have to wait for another pretty face to come by and obsess over. But I wouldn’t hold my breath, he seems to have a type.” 

She was making a scene. Eyes were watching them and Bonnie had hoped a public space would minimise the reaction, but she was clearly mistaken. 

“Sit down, Elena,” Bonnie kept her anger simmering beneath. Elena scoffed in returned, rude comments uttering beneath her breath before Bonnie had had enough and said, “Sit,” and like a well trained dog, Elena was seated back down, mouth sealed and eyes wide with mild panic. 

She shouldn’t have used her magic, but she needed to say what she had to and then finally, finally be done. 

“Just listen,” she started. “I didn’t want this to happen. I didn’t. But I’m in love with him and I can’t help it. I never wanted to hurt or come between you two. I can promise you on everything I have, I didn't.” She was trying to make her tone soothing, but it just came out hard even to her own ear. “I brought up the past because I wanted you to understand. Understand me. That you should be able to understand how I’m feeling. It wasn’t to condemn you, but I think there’s a clear difference in how we process our feelings and actions. While you go after what you want and always have, I deny myself and instead use distractions that I shouldn’t.” 

Bonnie was done trying to be nice. She needed to just say what she wanted while Elena was under her control, forcing her to listen. “We haven’t been close in a long while; let’s not pretend otherwise. I had a secret that was mine and mine alone to share. If I wasn’t acting on it, why the fuck were you so insistent on me admitting it? Just to embarrass myself? I wasn’t about to let that happen, so I gaslighted you and I'm sorry for it,” she apologised. Whether they were on speaking terms or not, Bonnie could admit she had been in the wrong for that. “But then you wanted him to cut me out of his life and that was a bullshit thing for you to do. You can’t control people, Elena. Life isn’t about you anymore. We all have our own shit to deal with now. We have our own lives to live. And I for one, I'm going to live it, whatever happens. I'm done pretending and hiding. I'm done apologising when it's out of my control.” 

She was searching Elena’s eyes, seeing the hardness in her gaze. Bonnie sighed, knowing this was going to be as good as it gets. 

“That’s all I have to say,” Bonnie sighed and released her hold on Elena. 

“How fucking dare you do that shit to me!” she yelled, grabbing the attention from more dining customers this time. Bonnie glanced over to see Marvin at the bar sending concerned looks her way. Bonnie shook her head as if telling him to stay put. “I don’t want to hear your fucking sorry. I don’t want to hear shit from you ever again.” Elena huffed bitterly. “You are right about one thing though. We haven't been close," she gave Bonnie a dirty look. "And we never will be again." 

"Bye, Elena."

She grabbed her things and stormed out with a flurry of looks being casted her way and then back to Bonnie, curious about the commotion. Bonnie ran her hand over the damp strands of hair, feeling stuck between tired yet energised until she saw a flash of blonde standing in the middle of the Grill looking entirely too conflicted. 

She took a step in her direction and Bonnie spoke, “Stop,” knowing Caroline’s hearing would pick it up. 

Bonnie had told Caroline that she didn’t need to witness the mess that was to come. Advised her to stay put. However, ‘staying put’ in Caroline’s book meant coming anyway, hiding and not interfering, yet still being present. Bonnie would have smiled, because while her eyes were temporarily blurred from the water splashed in her face, she had thought she saw her friend appear somewhere behind Elena, wanting to do something. Bonnie was glad she didn’t. 

“I’m fine, Care. She needs you more than I do right now.” Again, it was no more than a murmur, but still Caroline looked caught in the middle. It was only after an encouraging, “Go,” did she finally nod and hurried after Elena. 

Bonnie slouched back, eyes closing for a moment. Was it weird to think of the end of a long-term friendship like an overdue breakup? 

A body stood next to her, placing a glass with brown liquid down on to the table. “Looks like you could use it.” 

She glanced up, seeing Marvin’s warm brown skin and his searching eyes. She sent him a grateful smile and swallowed its content in one burning gulp. “Thanks,” she spoke as he began to dry the table. 

“Want to keep me company at the bar? Get some food in you. On the house,” he suggested with a welcoming expression. 

Bonnie thought it over. She had nowhere else to be. She was also a little emotionally exhausted, yet oddly relieved. With no one around in her immediate circle to talk to with the added history and weight of everything, Bonnie looked up at Marvin and smiled gratefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonnie vs. Elena. Who are you backing in this argument, honestly? What could Bonnie or Elena have said to further their points? Had a little block when writing, so it would be interesting to read how you guys would have constructed the scene.  
> And I think we all need a Caroline to be the middle ground. Or maybe you are a Caroline?  
> Thanks for reading!  
> K.


	12. Chapter 12

The front door slammed open, stealing his attention from yet another unsent message meant for Bonnie. He frowned, hearing a rush of footsteps manoeuvring around the house and making their way upstairs with forceful steps. As he left the library, turning towards the main parlour, he saw the door left wide open where the cold December air filtered through. 

Frowning, he listened to the best of his abilities, not wanting to just confront who it was without weapons, though the odds of it being a new vampire coming to terrorise them for some reason was unlikely when the deed was now signed over in his name. It meant that the person rampaging in the house was likely human or... 

“She knows,” the voice of Caroline had him jump at her suddenly arrival, because was he always that annoying to just pop out of nowhere before? 

When he had been a vampire, he had found it fun, but now being on the other side once more in his life and with no defences after someone bursting into his mansion, he was understandably on edge, something he was trying to break out of. To be more like Ric. For fucks sakes, even to be more like Jeremy and his hunter ass. 

He would have relaxed completely, but Caroline’s words finally digested. ‘She knows’, and he found he was more anxious about the argument that was to come because ‘She knows’ could only mean one thing. And it coming from Caroline as she stood in the entranceway watching him, he wondered when she had found out and by who? Stefan, who he had confessed to or Bonnie herself? 

A sudden smash echoing had him grimace, but he looked at Caroline to ask, “Was she just told?” because he needed to know how fresh the information was in order to see how to approach the situation. 

“Bonnie told her a couple hours ago.” 

Hearing Bonnie's name had a now too familiar pound to occur in his chest. Even more so when he hasn’t seen here since she came back. He promised he’d give her space and he meant it. It was hard to stay away. Not just because he couldn’t fucking stop thinking about her and their last encounter that had his nerve spike and body flush and left his brain frazzled with the chaos of it all from the moment they went back into his car and drove her home like she asked. But also because he was so accustom to having Bonnie with him in some form. If he couldn’t see her, he could call. If he couldn’t call, he would text, but none were an option, no matter how many times his finger hovered over her name. 

‘Bonnie told her’, he thought and he wasn’t surprised. If anything he would have thought she would have said something sooner; that very day, even. 

Damon didn’t feel like he did anything wrong. How could it be when he wasn’t even with Elena anymore? But Bonnie had been more focused on how soon everything was happening. More focused on how he may not actually know what he wanted. She couldn’t haven’t more wrong in that moment because nothing had ever made more sense in his very long life. 

He glanced down at his phone in his hands, the temptation to call became drastically more tempting. Instead he pocketed it and asked, “Is Bonnie OK?” 

Caroline thought about it. “I think she said everything she needed to. She knew Elena would be upset, so she was prepared. Prepared me in advanced a couple days ago so I could be there for Elena because she knew she’d need someone by her side to deal with it all,” she told. “Things got a little...wet. But she’s fine. I wanted to stay to see if she was alright, but she told me to go after Elena instead and I’ve been with her since.” 

Damon nodded. Bonnie doing as Bonnie usually does. Looking out for people's feelings even in this case, though Elena might not be thinking the same. Having Caroline prepared and ready was smart. He was sure the blonde had a whole itinerary created to sooth Elena, even more so since she allowed Elena to stay at hers while she kept her company.

Another smash and Damon looked towards the direction he’d need to go. He turned to Caroline to say, “You were right about me. She was the ‘What if', but I don't want her to only be just that anymore.” 

His words had Caroline sigh. Though there was a faint smile on her lips, he could also see the sad look in her eyes when glancing up as if she could see through the layers of concrete and brick to where Elena was undoubtedly in his room. 

Turning on his heels, he advanced towards the hallways and eventually made his way up the stairs. All too soon he was standing before his opened bedroom door, a smashed picture frame he had placed aside laid shattered on the floor with the glass he had left in the morning. 

Inside, the face he had been in love with, obsessed over, cursed by, was packing in a flurry of movements, her scrubs still on and brunette hair pulled back into her now usual ponytail. Hands in pockets, he entered the room and her head snapped up. She glared at him, her anger seething as she spat, “Come to watch me make space for your new toy? Don’t worry, I’m almost done.” 

He would have usually kept quiet, thinking it would be best to spare her feelings like he had in the past, but he couldn’t hold his tongue as he resorted, “Bonnie isn’t a toy.” 

She snorted to herself. “Aren’t we all to you, though? You go through women like it’s nothing and now you’ve what? Gotten bored?” 

Was she serious? 

Throughout their entire relationship Damon has only been with Elena. Even when he tried to do as she said and live while under Kai's spell, it didn’t feel right when trying it out with Krystal. Damon was faithful when with someone. Hell, when he first turned he went decades without being with another woman because he felt spoken for because of Katherine. It was Sage coming into his life that had him start to enjoy being a vampire. He can admit that he’s been around. But that was having fun. None were ever serious. None were like Katherine, or Elena at the time. And certainly no one was like Bonnie. 

“Is that what you really think? That I’m just jumping from one person to the other like it’s nothing?” 

“Well, aren’t you?” she accused. “It's who you are, Damon. You’re impulsive and selfish. Forget what anyone else feels. Forget how I feel. You haven’t cared in a while, so don’t pretend.” 

He took a breath to argue, “I do care about you, Elena. Just not in the same way anymore.” 

“How? Why?” her voice raised. “How can you just all of a sudden feel different? How can you suddenly just want her and not me? Because it doesn’t make a damn sense to me!” She ran her hand over her head, her frustration building. “After everything we’ve been through. Everything. All those things you used to say to me. About wanting to be with me. Promising me that this, what we had, was forever and now what? It was all a lie?” 

“No, it wasn’t a lie. I meant it at the time,” he started. “But things change. People change.” He took a tentative step forward. “I was in love with you then. I felt like I was finally getting everything I wanted. A re-take of what I could have had but never did and it was all I cared about. All that mattered no matter who was in the way. No matter if what we had was toxic,” he explained. “We argued over it, remember? We both knew what we had wasn’t healthy, even back then and we ignored it like we usually ignore everything else that has us looking on what we had. I would ha-“ he paused to rephrase. “I have given everything up for you because I always needed to prove myself. To be the person who you wanted me to be than the person I was.” 

“And what? Bonnie’s different?” she snapped. 

“Yes,” he spoke without a beat and he saw her tense face falter before it was up again. “Don’t act like you don’t know. You made a whole scene about it. Upset that I was more willing to tell her things than you.” He softened his eyes, sighing as he thought on what to say. “I didn’t realise I was doing it. I didn’t. But it’s just easier for me to say shit to her, just like it’s easy for you to talk to Caroline without thinking about it.” 

“Caroline isn’t in love with me,” was her defence. “I asked Bonnie if you knew and she said that you did. You’ve known this whole time and you, the both of you didn’t say a God damn thing! You just went along with this little secret for months. You looked me in the eyes while I told you she was in love with you and you said that you were just friends. That nothing would happen. That you loved me, Damon. Me! But then I find out that she kissed you. You let her kiss you not even a full fucking day after we-" 

“I was the one that kissed her first,” he interrupted mid sentence. 

He saw her brows lift and mouth part. “What?” 

“I kissed h-" he began to repeat, but the sting of her hand connecting to his face cut him off and his jaw tensed and eyes narrowed. As he looked back to her, anger ignited in her stare and her breath audible, her fist was already drawn back to assault him, but he caught it mid-way and pushed her aside with enough strength to have her stumble back. 

Her chest rose and fell harshly and Damon only touched his cheek with annoyance. “I kissed her,” he tried again. “I tried to kiss her before and she left. She left because she didn’t want to hurt you. I chased after her and kissed her anyway because it’s was what I wanted. What she wanted, but she would never act on it unless I made the first move and I did.” His breathing was evened out as the truth spilled. “I didn’t just suddenly want Bonnie. It’s always been there deep down, but I never wanted to acknowledge it. I was more focused on making shit work with you. To do what made you happy. 

“You said before that you were upset because I’d always go places with her and then take you after. But all that, was to make sure I could impress you. And even though she had feelings for me, anytime I had something planned for you, she would help to make it perfect. She left not just to spare her feelings, but for us. So she could let us be happy while she suffered in silence for however long. She’s done more for us and everyone than necessary because she cares. 

“And then having the other version of Bonnie here, the whole situations forced me to face some hard truths. I love you, Elena. That’s never been a lie. The only problem is that I’m not in love with you anymore. I’m in love with her. I’m in love with Bonnie in a way that I didn’t recognise because my version of love has always been consumption and obsessive and competitive. It’s not how things should be, Elena. Its not what I want for myself and neither should you.” 

As he looked at the face he’s loved twice, a dull ache spread across his chest as he saw her broken expression and the wetness she violently wiped away from her heated cheeks. 

“I'm sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you.” 

She laughed bitterly. “Funny how you’re doing just that,” she uttered out. Exhaling sharply, she asked. “Why did you take the cure? If you’ve been feeling all this, knowing we were doomed and wouldn’t last, why did you take it?” 

“Because I wanted to make you happy,” he answered honestly. Running a hand through his hair, he said, “I shouldn’t have taken it. I shouldn’t have done anything when I wasn’t ready, but I did it for you because I thought it was the best thing to do. Because I didn’t want to keep you waiting any longer. I wasn’t ready to let what we had go, so I took it than telling you ‘no’. Because I didn’t want to disappoint you.” He stared straight at her to add, “Instead I was disappointing myself. Kidding myself when it was something I wasn’t ready for.” He took a step forward. “I wasn’t lying when I said I didn’t hate being human.” He took a moment then to confessed, “I just came to the term that I didn’t really want that with you, anymore,” hating the devastated look upon her face. 

Elena took a shuttered breath, tears spilling as she nodded to herself. Words muttered under her breath; her eyes casted away from his before she suddenly began to pack again, shoving her clothes roughly in like she wished it was his face. 

Seconds passed in an uncomfortable silence as he watched her gather her things and eventually heaved the large duffel bag over her shoulder and had another in her hand as she stood straight and met his eyes despite the weight clearly becoming a struggle. 

“You know, I loved you. You made me feel like I was the only one in the world you wanted to be with, but you’ve always been good with words, haven’t you? You know how to make things feel exciting and new. But maybe that was the vampire version of you that I actually preferred. Because the person standing in front of me, I don’t even know who you are anymore.” 

The words were flying out of his mouth before he gave them much thought with, “You never did,” a vexation taking him as if any of his actions were purposeful. Like he had had a plan to hurt her, rather than coming to realisations about himself and his life. 

Her face slacked, but she hardened up once more. “Maybe you’re right. I don’t know you. Not like she does, anyway,” she resorted, her tone filled with resentment. “I thought this break would be temporary, but why bother? I don’t want to be with someone who feels like they can’t be themselves around me.” She shook her head, walking past him as she made her way to the door before stopping suddenly. She turned to look back, brown eyes that he had once found so deep and loving now appearing murky as she said, “The two of you deserve each other. You’re both fucking liars,” and left. 

\- 

Smashed glass swept, Damon sat before the parlour’s fire place, feeling the flames warmth to his body with his head rested back. It was moments later when the front door opened. He glanced up to see Stefan accompanied by Alaric. The two men strolled down, Ric shaking off the cold as he got closer and soon shrugged off his jacket as did Stefan. 

“It’s a school night, Professor. No papers to grade, or have you got your kiss-up TA do the work for you?” Damon spoke light-heartedly. 

Ric huffed a laugh to say, “What’s the point in having one if you can't just pass the work over so you can have time to comfort your buddy in his time in need?” 

“Who says I need comforting?” he cocked his head, watching as Ric made himself comfortable beside him just as Stefan took the other couch. 

Rick simply waved his phone in gesture and followed with, “Caroline,” as if that was all the explanation Damon needed. Luckily he added, “She created a group-chat with only us three. She might of mention that you could use someone to talk to after the argument you and Elena just had.” 

He snorted, because Caroline would make a group-chat, wouldn’t she? Looking between them, he asked, “Did she give you a play by play?” jokingly, trying to make light of the overall situation. 

Rick pursed his lips and shrugged his shoulders to say, “Mostly the cliff notes.” 

“You OK, Damon?” 

“As good as I can be, brother,” he answered. 

Ric snorted slightly. “How is it that you get yourself in these situations? Do you like the drama?” 

“I just think it’s my winning personality and sex-appeal. I can’t help my effect on the ladies,” he shrugged. Raking his fingers through his hair, Damon added, “What a mess.” 

“Everything will calm down soon. Just give it a few weeks,” Stefan told. 

“And how long are you going to have our Ex as your house guest?” 

Stefan leaned back and shrugged as his answered, “As long as she wants, I guess. It wouldn’t be my first time,” giving Damon a judgmental look that lacked any sort of malice. “She’s at work most of the time anyway. It's mostly just a place to lay her head and be away from you. Caroline’s there if she wants to speak to someone. Matt. Jeremy. She's not alone.” 

In that statement, Damon mind trailed to Bonnie. How she, unlike Elena right now, was in fact alone and he didn’t want her to be. Didn’t know how Donovan would react when exposed to the information, because he knew she was close to the him and if he suddenly took sides and stopped speaking to Bonnie over it, Damon knew it would hurt her, yet she wouldn’t argue with his choice. 

As if Stefan knew Damon’s thoughts had drifted to his little witch, he asked, “Have you spoken to Bonnie?” 

Damon shook his head. “I said I’d give her space. She wants us to have space.” 

“And how’s that going for you?” Ric had a single brow arched in question. 

“I fucking hate it,” he admitted childishly, causing Ric chuckle while Stefan just shook his head with light humour. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how long I can just wait.” He placed his arm across the back of the chair then. “She thinks I’m going to change my mind.” 

“And are you?” Stefan wondered. 

“No,” Damon spoke firmly. “I want to be with her. This last week has been the longest of my life to just be here and do nothing. I can’t even fucking text her and see how she is. And after what happened today,” he trailed off, wondering what her experience with Elena was like. Blondie had mentioned it was 'wet', leading Damon to believe Elena had poured a drink in Bonnie's face and he hated that he wasn't there to stop it. To prevent Bonnie feeling embarrassed. If there was an upside, he was glad Elena didn't physically touch Bonnie like she had so freely done with him. If she had, the old Damon would have threatened to snap the neck of Elena's pre-med friends. This new human Damon, however, might have to settle for sealing one of Ric's or Donovan's guns to maim them and have Elena stitch them back up. Focusing back on the conversation, he finished with, “She made sure Caroline would be there for Elena and Caroline had you both over for me, but what about her? She’s always left out somehow and all I want to do is go to her, but I can’t. I’m waiting for her to reach out first. I should, right?” He looked at them somewhat desperately, wanting to receive answers or confirmation that waiting was the right thing to do. 

“Maybe today could be an exception?” Ric put out. “You could text her. See how she’s doing and leave it at that. It shows that you’re keeping her in mind.” He paused and slightly shifted in the seat so his body was facing towards Damon. “Look, none of us know what Bonnie is feeling or what she wants or doesn’t. We can only assume. Some women say one thing and mean another, while others say what they mean and mean exactly that. Just, see what she says if you do text. From the way you two are, I can guarantee she misses you just as much. She’s giving you this space to figure your shit out.” 

“From what Caroline tells me and what I can see, she doesn’t want to be seen as a mistake,” Stefan interjected, having Ric nod in agreement. “She wants you, Damon. You just have to show her that you feel the same and mean it too. Not just because you’re trying to prove something for her benefit like you’ve been doing with Elena this entire time. But because you actually want to do it.” 

Damon sighed heavily, his eyes catching Ric to be frowning. “What?” 

“I’m just wondering. If Bonnie had never been switched, would all this have happened? Would you and Elena have broken up? Would you have kissed Bonnie and finally told her how you felt? Tell us, even?” he fired his questions. “That knowing somewhere that you and her work and are married could have influenced your decisions. Because Damon, though they are versions of you, nothing is guaranteed. You and Bonnie might not work here.” 

“Gee, kill the mood why don’t you,” he muttered. 

“I’m sorry, Damon, but these are things you have to think about before you go into anything. These are people’s feelings, Damon. Your own. You need to be certain this is what you want. That Bonnie is who you want and you didn't just break Elena's heart for nothing. That you're not playing with Bonnie's heart either.” 

“You really think I haven’t thought about that? I haven’t been able to stop. And yeah, maybe it was a bit impulsive to kiss her at the time, but I don’t regret it. I don’t regret my relationship with Elena ending either,” he stated. “Having the other Bonnie come is the kick I needed to finally face things. To stop myself pretending. To show me that there's nothing to be afraid of. I’ve never felt worthy of anyone I've wanted in my life. But being with Bonnie, around both Bonnies, has showed me that it’s not the responsibility of others to give me worth. But that it’s something I have to give myself. And being friends with Bonnie, she’s always pushed for me to do what I thought was best for me and I’m doing just that. Them switching is the wake-up call I needed to finally get my shit together,” he spoke openly. “And I am. Now I just need her to believe me.” 

A thoughtful silence fell between them all and he looked at Stefan to see him smiling to at Damon. Damon cocked his head, watching his brother suspiciously. 

“Something you’d like to share or are you just going to sit there grinning at me all damn night?” 

Stefan leaned back comfortably to reply, “I’ve never said it before, but human is a good look on you. You’re you, but different. Kind of like how you used to be, but matured. More certain.” 

“Maybe because I know if I die normally, I'm not walking away from it. I’m as useless as this meat-sack over here,” he gestured to Ric jokingly, having Ric in return lifted his middle finger. Damon smiled with an overall feeling of contentment there that had him relax. He looked down at his finger and twisted the onyx ring with a soft smile on his face. “I’m alive. I’m healthy and this life is the only one I've got. I’m going to finally live it. And if things goes to plan, I'll have the woman I want to live out my numbered human years and you boring asses with me too.” 

“I think that’s his way of saying he loves us,” Ric chimed teasingly. “Shit, I think he’s already becoming senile.” 

Stefan chuckled and Damon knocked Ric upside the head before a thought hit him. “Who’s looking after your little siphons if both you and Caroline don’t have them?” 

“Denise,” he answered. 

“The sexy firefighter,” Damon whistled. “Has she moved in yet?” 

“She’s thinking about it,” Ric smiled, adoration clear in her eyes. “The girls love her and she spends most her nights at ours anyway. She just doesn’t want to rush.” 

“Rush? You’ve been together other a year,” Damon pointed out and then shrugged. “Anyway,” he heaved himself up. “I’m hungry. Stefan, order us some food and I’ll get the drinks. Definitely need it after the night I've had.” 

\- 

‘I know that you think that we need time apart. That I need time to think, but I feel like I've been doing way too much thinking recently, Bon. I miss you. I miss seeing you and hearing your voice and just having you around. I want to know how your day is and what you're thinking. You’re my best friend, so how could I not? Anyway, I just wanted to check in and if you need someone to talk to, I’m here for you, always. 

I love you,’ 

He stared at the unsent message, his eyes shifting through the text with his fingers hovering over the send button with hesitation. It was decent enough, right? Sweet. Simple. Not at all holding all the words, sentences, paragraphs he’s written with far too much emotion that had him look like a pining prepubescent teen. 

Just send it, he thought. 

Yet as he was just about to say, ‘fuck it’ and press the button, Bonnie’s name popped up on his screen as an incoming call and the phone almost dropped on his face. He sat up in his bed, the bright screen illuminating the space around him in the dark room where the moonlight filtered in through the windows. Heart thumping, he accepted the call and brought it to his ear. 

“Bon?” he spoke softly and he heard her swear beneath her breath. 

“Sorry, it’s late. I didn’t think you’d answer,” and he couldn’t help but smile because he could just imagine her closing her eyes in slight embarrassment, probably hoping he’d be asleep at 2:30 in the morning, but sleeping was hard when his mind was occupied. 

With a light chuckle, he said, “Sorry to disappoint.” 

“What’s new?” she spoke sarcastically and he smiled besides himself, having missed hearing her voice after a time without it. He heard her clear her throat to say, “I’m sorry I didn’t give you a warning earlier. I wasn’t expecting her to go to you.” 

“Well, she mainly came for the rest of her stuff, but it’s fine. No harm done,” he brushed off. 

“I wouldn’t say that," she disagreed, her voice faint as if she was saying it to herself rather than him. “How're you doing?” 

“I could ask you the same.” 

“Surprisingly, fine. Considering every, that is. I thought I'd feel worse about it, but I don’t and I can’t really say way. Like it was something that was bound to happen and now the shoe just dropped,” she told. “I just wished we parted in a different way. Like normal people, ya’know? Where we just stop talking as much and then soon enough we become people we both used to know.” 

“You’re not exactly a person that she or anyone in our little gang can just ‘used to know’, Bon,” he stated because that to him would undermine Bonnie’s importance and he couldn't have that. It fell quiet between them and all Damon could hear was her soft breath and he close his eyes momentarily, wishing he could be there with her, holding her tight against his body as they fell asleep together. He wanted to feel her heart pattering against his palm and soak in her warmth. He wanted to smell her sweet scent and feel the softness of her and all that she was. He wanted her to look up into his eyes when the morning sun rose and see everything that he felt. Everything that he has been holding back. He wanted that and a lot more, but all he managed to say when finally breaking the silence was, “I wish you weren’t alone right now.” 

A beat, and then another passed until Bonnie replied, “Who say’s I'm alone?” and he could hear the jesting in her tone, yet the sudden launch in his chest couldn’t be missed at the slight panic of someone actually being there. He really fucking hoped Enzo hadn’t come by for yet another surprise visit. 

“Don’t play with me, Bon Bon,” he warned and the warmth of her laugh heated him instantly. “God, I miss you,” he couldn’t help but confess. 

She took a breath and admitted, “I miss you too,” and it had him grinning like an idiot in the dark, because that’s what he wanted to hear, feeling a flood of relief that nothing had changed on her side either. 

That, along with something else in particular that she had mostly let slip when worked up and overwhelmed. He wanted to hear her say the words when nothing was standing in their way. He wanted to say them back and he was kicking himself for not seeing all this before. That it had taken him so long, even with her earlier confession as a prompt. He'd been too scared of doing anything before, but now...now he was ready to jump and fall hard for Bonnie Bennett. 

“So, does that mean we can stop this space bullshit, because its driving me crazy. I meant what I said, Bon. Space isn’t going to change my mind and I was right. It hasn't.” 

“I can’t know anything for sure. It’s a precaution.” 

“But you do know me. Better than anyone,” he argued and it almost sounded as if he was whining. 

“Exactly. I know you,” she agreed. “Which is why being apart is necessary. So you can really think this through,” she echoed Ric. “I don’t...I-" she struggled to continue and he was holding the phone tighter when hearing the unsure nature in her sweet voice. The underlying fear of rejection the two of them knew so well. 

“Bonnie,” he started. “I want you. And I want to be with you and I don’t need anymore space to know its true because you’re not a mistake. You’re not a stand in. You’re not an experiment or even a fucking new toy,” he denied every assumption. “You’re you and you’re all I need. I’m just sorry it took me so long to realise it.” 

He thought he heard a sniffles and he hoped he hadn’t made her cry, yet when the second one came, he knew it was true. He frowned, wanting to be there to wipe her tears away. He wanted to be by her side. He craved for it so much that his body was already on standby, ready to make his way to her. 

“Bon?” he called her name with a gentle edge. 

“Yeah?” she murmured out. 

He was hesitant to ask, but not asking was out of the question. With a deep breath and a prayer, he wondered, “Can I come to you?” 

He stupidly held his breath as he waited in the stretch of silence that fell upon them. His fingers were anxiously twisting her ring impatiently, hoping somehow she’d be able to sense or feel his need to be by her side through it, but he knew that wasn’t how it worked. Maybe he could ask her to make it a function so when the time came and he was looking into her pretty eyes and holding her soft face between the palms of his hands he could say the words itching to pass his lips and she’d have no reason to doubt him or what they had, ever. 

He heard the parting of her mouth and a soft shutter. Pressing into the phone as if it would get him closer to her, she finally answered with a faint, “Yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for commenting your thoughts and the kudos, guest or not. Feel like I keep repeating myself, but every single one means a lot.  
> And with that, one more chapter to go to wrap this up.  
> K.


	13. Chapter 13

Allowing Damon to come over was hardly a decision to consider, but in the process of making it, she had still been thinking on how appropriate it was considering the days event. It still felt soon, but should that really matter when she could hear the want in his voice? After taking in his words that stupidly had her tear up to listen to them? That, no, he hadn’t changed his mind. His stubbornness might have played a part in that, she thought, but having the soft huskiness of him in her ear wrapped around each word caused a flush of relief to settle. He wanted to come to her and she, unashamed now everything was out in the opened, wanted him there just as much. 

So as the jingle of keys opened and closed the door and steady footsteps climbed the steps not even 20 minutes later, she watched the shadow crossing the wall in anticipation from where she laid until he finally came into view when his silhouette crossed the threshold of her room. The dull lamp gave the space around her a warm glow and she was thankful for it as she watched him intently when shrugging off his jacket and shoes. Putting them aside, his eyes bouncing back to hers frequently until he crossed the space between them in his vest and pyjama bottoms that had her lips quirk up. 

The bed dipped as he slid under the covers, his body close to hers when his head hit the pillow. She took note to catalogue him, feeling like simply looking at picture of him on her phone gave him no justice in comparison to the real thing now before her. How dark his hair was or tempting his skin looked for her to just want to reach out and touch. How smooth his lips seemed; lips she could still feel the impression off. Bonnie bit the inside of her cheeks, dragging her gaze away to peer into his pale blue eyes that captivated her very soul as he laid there watching her. 

“Hey,” he greeted quietly between them, a smile broadening across his attractive features. 

She couldn’t help but a return it as she replied, “Hey," just as lightly as he did as if anything louder would disturb the moment. 

He reached out, his fingers delicately brushing her cheek to say, “Couldn’t sleep either, huh?” And though it was meant to sound teasing, he appeared more focused and content to be touching her like it had been something he’d missed. “For a second there I thought you’d installed cameras in my room because I was just about to text you when you called.” 

“You were?” 

“Mhm,” he sounded, his fingers still distracted and it was honestly doing a number on her too. His touch felt electric when he spilt them down her neck, over her shoulder and along her arm until he found her hand and interlaced their fingers. The heavy thud in her chest almost had her miss his words when he admitted, “The amount of drafts I’ve written is pathetic, Bon. I’m embarrassed for myself, but luckily you saved me this time, even if it was the most simple one.” 

Her skin flushed, the curiosity of knowing was building because Damon being embarrassed isn’t something she would equate with him. Tilting her chin up, not dismissing the way his eyes fell to her mouth, she wondered, “What did you write?” 

“Oh, the usual,” he started, watching the movement of her lips and then steadily lifted his gaze. Bonnie damned him for making such a simple act so alluring. “How much I missed you. How much you mean to me. That you’re my best friends and I can’t get you out of my head no matter how much I try. That I didn’t want to try because you, Bonnie, are a remarkable woman and the fact that you feel anything for me just makes me appreciate you more. That you’re patient with me. That you’ve seen the real me and somehow you haven’t staked me after all this time.” 

His fingers tightened around hers and she felt her gifted ring to him press against her finger. Bonnie in return shifted closer so her bare legs pressed to his cotton covered ones and she caught the lift of his lips. “That doesn’t sound too bad to me,” she smiled. 

His bottom lip tucked between his teeth momentarily, his gaze scattered across her face to say, “That’s because that’s the fluffy version and I’m trying to be a gentleman here, Bon Bon.” His eyes narrowed in on her parted mouth and her voice felt caught when he licked his lips. “If you want me to say everything else that I’ve been thinking and wrote, I will.” 

He unlocked their fingers and snaked his arm around her waist and settled behind. 

“Tell you how I can’t help but to replay our moment together. To be between your legs and kissing you so much that you can hardly breathe. To have you unwind in my arms and swallowing your moans and feeling the heat of your skin on my palms,” he spoke, voice shallow and made point to slip his hand under her loose shirt, riding it up slowly to trace his fingers across her lower back. “I think about how blown your eyes were and how I didn’t want to stop a single second until I had you how I wanted you. How you wanted me. I thought being a vampire heightened everything before, but I guess that’s not entirely true because since I’ve gotten a taste, all I want is more. A lot more until you can’t think of anything else but my hands on you. Can’t think of anyone else but us, together. I want to leave you breathless and wanting more. I want to look into your eyes and see everything you’re feeling. I want you to see everything I’m feeling. How much I care. Because I want you, Bonnie, in more ways than one.” 

He pulled her closer so that her body was flattened against his and her chest was raising at an ungodly rate from something as simple as words. But Damon had a sexiness to him that he knew how to used. The younger her had laughed at his flirting in the past. But an older Bonnie, the present Bonnie, was melting in his hands and she had to wonder if incubus were a real thing because Damon was dripping lust and as close as they were, chest to chest, faces inches from each other, the temptation of him was making her head spin. 

He leaned forward and her heart sped, watching his face closing the distance. As she closed her eyes, awaiting the inevitable, the act she expected was not the one she received. Instead of her mouth, Damon kissed the corner. Then her cheek and then forehead, peppering her with little endearing kisses that had her groan in frustration. 

Damon chuckled. Deep and reverberating in his chest before pulling back to look at her with mischief twinkling and a challenge. She squinted at him, her annoyance lacking any heat when rolling her eyes. 

“Yeah, I definitely missed you,” he chuckled, hand trailing from her back and resting on her hip with a reassuring squeeze. “A bit too much, maybe.” 

“I kinda like that,” she grinned. 

“Good. You should,” he agreed. Bonnie playfully pushed him back and he took the opportunity to turn her around and snuggled her from behind. “Ooo, I can really get used the this,” he sighed, planting a kiss to her shoulder and the crook of her neck. Bonnie couldn’t help but squirm; a tingle travelling down her entire body and back up again when he was so close, holding her like a personalised gift and she leaned into him gladly 

His arms tightened around her and exhaled heavily. Relaxing against him, Bonnie waved her hand and the lights turned off. 

When day break came, they had still been wrapped up in each other in a way that was intrinsically different from all the times in the past, pre travelling, that was friendly and innocent enough. What she had woken up to, however, had an intimacy that she welcomed wholeheartedly. 

Damon had already been awake; the ray of the morning sun peeking through the curtains, casting a light across his face and made his eyes even more hypnotic than she’s willingly allowed herself to see. In that moment, she drank it in and couldn't stop the flutter in her stomach when he was gazing at her so softly that her convinced it was a dream. Planting a kiss to her forehead, he got out of the bed to make her breakfast. Though he told her to stay put, Bonnie refused and followed him down, giggling at his complaints of her inability to listen, but gladly accepted her help when she offered in the kitchen. 

She expected it all to feel different somehow, yet the difference wasn’t all that much. They were still them, but the previous weight of everything had been significantly unburdened and she felt lighter and at ease and after a long while, happy. And as they ate and talked, keeping the conversation light, she got the feeling he felt the same. She hoped for dear life that he felt the same because if he didn’t...well, she kept her mind clear of that and just enjoyed the moment. Enjoyed the days that followed. 

They didn’t spend all their time together. Bonnie still worked, making sure her products were up to standard, packaged and sent off appropriately and consistency. Damon would come by to help as he’d done many times before to keep her company. However, now his company had an increase of touching her whenever he could, from her shoulder, to her hips and her face. On a few occasions he’d simply hold her in his arms from behind, his face nuzzled against her neck and she liked it. Liked it a lot. Appreciating his help when Christmas was rapidly approaching and the demand had risen. If he wasn’t with her, he'd be with Stefan, helping out with Caroline’s school that was really coming along with the influence of a little compulsion and generous donations for both Salvatore's and one Klaus Mikaelson. 

Everything around Bonnie appeared to be in the works of something better and she was glad for it, despite the initial nerves of what her friends would say and how they’d think. In fact, she almost turned when running into Matt, his Sheriff badge shining with a cup of something steaming in hand when making his way to his cruiser after exiting a local cafe. 

“Bonnie,” he hollered, and she had no way to make herself scarce, let alone 'Invisique' herself suddenly in such a public space. 

Chewing the inside of her cheek, she made her way towards him with a anxious, “Hey, Matt,” and a wave. 

“Haven’t heard from you in a while. Was getting worried,” he expressed, his features lightly concerned. “Look, Jer told me what happened. How’re you feeling?” 

She shrugged. “I’m good. I wanted to reach out, but...” she fiddled with her fingers and Matt waited patiently for her to finished. “I wasn’t too sure if you’d speak to me. Ya'know, out of respect for Elena.” 

Matt brows knitted together. “Bonnie, you're just as much as my friend as she is. More even. Nothing will change that. As much as I’d be an ear for her to talk to, I’d happily be that person for you too. You don’t have to worry about that.” His words had relief to swell. “We’re grown. Shit like this happens and we can’t always help it. Love is...tricky. We might think we have control, but we don’t,” he spoke reasonably and leaned against his car. “So, you and Damon, huh?” 

She felt stupid, but the smile that spread across her face was telling enough and Matt looked at her warmly, despite the chill of the air around and the frost on the ground. 

“Just...make sure he treats you right, OK? Or the next time he breaks another heart I’ll put him behind bars and bury the keys. Use him as target practice and I think I’ve got a upper hand over him now,” he jested. 

Bonnie huffed out a quaint laugh and nodded. “I’ll give him the message.” 

“Good. Now, I have to head to the station, but I’ll see you soon, alright?” he reached forward to hug her. “Oh, before I forget. You’re still coming to the baby shower, right?” 

“If you want me there, I wouldn’t miss it.” 

Matt entire face brightened. Nodding as he opened the car door, he spoke, “Fingers cross it’s a girl,” with a giddiness and Bonnie couldn't stop the infectious smile to spread across her face in return. Watching him start up the cruiser, she waved him off as he made his way to work.

\- 

As Bonnie drove up to the Boarding House, she saw a familiar vintage car that had her brows come together in confusion and a sink to settle in her stomach at the unexpectant arrival. As she got out of her car and walked towards the entrance, she paused, feeling hesitant to take another step forward and perhaps turn on her heels and leave, but the door being opened for her took the option away. 

Styled short black hair, skin looking sun kissed from wherever he had been before, Enzo stood before her with a gentle smile on his lips as he spoke, “Hello, love,” in his raspy accented voice. He stood aside and gestured her in as if he owned the house and had his hand fall behind his back after closing the door. 

“Enzo,” she spoke, her eyes not leaving him, wondering why he hadn’t mentioned coming to town. “What are you doing here?” 

He followed her forward as they walked side by side into the main space. With the fire burning ahead, she glanced around, looking for Damon but couldn’t find him. She knew he was there, somewhere. Enzo's car had been parked behind his outside. 

“I just wanted to have a little chat with an old mate. No harm in that, right?” His voice cut her search for Damon short. 

“Enzo,” she lifted a brow when speaking his name with a hint of warning and the vampire chuckled, his dark brown eyes taking her in pleasantly. 

“Look, you’re just going to have to make do of what Stefan ha-" 

Damon rounded the corner with a blood bag in hand and slowed his step when seeing Bonnie. He looked nervous for a moment and then his eyes fell behind her and narrowed with a annoyed tick that she picked up on, but wasn’t too sure if anyone else would if they didn’t know the sign. 

Making his way over, he lazily threw the blood which Enzo caught and greeted Bonnie with a kiss to her cheek and a hand on her hip, bringing her body closer to his. It was his new way of acknowledging her arrival. 

She looked at him questioningly and then back at Enzo, waiting for an explanation because having her Ex that she had shamefully used for intimacy and has admitted to still having feelings for her and her now...well, Damon, suddenly being together caught her off guard. They were friends. She knew that. But it was out of the blue and she still haven’t had a full honest conversation with Enzo about the changes in her life. 

“I wanted to talk to Enzo,” Damon started. 

“About?” she wondered, though she had a vague inclination. 

“What do you think, love?” Enzo chimed in. “About you, of course.” 

“Me?” she echoed. “Enzo,” she started softly but he was already shaking his head. 

“Mate, do you mind if we had a word alone?” Enzo asked, and the hand Damon still had on her, whether unconscious or not, pulled her closer. Damon looked between them, something showing in his eyes before it was gone and he relaxed. Whatever it was had sedated the flash of possessiveness when looking at Enzo. Like whatever the two had been conversing about before Bonnie’s arrival created an added bond between the two men. A trust. 

And it was that trust that had Damon nod, kissed her head and met her eyes when saying, “I’ll be in the kitchen.” 

She nodded, watching him leave and his gaze locked with hers when glancing back before he disappeared around the corner. Biting her lip and exhaling a sharp breath, Bonnie turned to look at the face of a man she used to love and seeing the front he was trying to put up. A front she herself wore for far too long. Though she felt honoured to hold his affection, even after all this time, she hated it. Hated putting him in that position. She briefly wondered if this was how Damon felt towards her in the beginning. 

“I’m sorry,” she apologised, meeting his stare. 

He huffed out a small laugh to say, “You have nothing to be sorry about, Bonnie. Nothing. It’s not like it came out of the nowhere.” 

“I know, but-" 

“But nothing,” he shook his head. 

Resting the blood bag on a near by table to step closer to her, he smelt of the cologne she'd bought him during their two day get away a month back. It made looking at him all that harder when she had easily allowed herself to get lost in him while he was in love with her, but her heart had already had Damon’s initials carved into it far too deep to even let Enzo in in the way she had in the past. 

“I’d always known that he'd eventually come to his bloody senses and finally see what was right in front of him. I won’t lie and say that I’m happy. You know how I feel. You know I’d happily take you back if you just said the word,” he confessed and the tenderness in his tone felt heavy. “But I understand that things don’t always work out in the same way I know Damon fulfils something in you that I never could. I know he'll treat you right. I’m just happy everything worked out for you. I hope you stay happy, Bonnie.” 

Her eyes welled, his sentiment filling her with both sorrow and appreciation. Enzo was a good man and he continued to be so. Had been there when she needed a different scenery or a touch that scarcely filled the void for a short while as he showered her in the affection she didn’t deserve. 

He reached out, cupping her cheek in his hand and he looked as if he wanted to stay there and soaked her in. As if he knew this would be the last time he could show his want so openly, and thus, savouring it. Her hand fell atop his, bringing a pitiful smile to his face. 

“I really didn’t want to hurt you,” she reaffirmed. 

Holding her hand, he brought it forward and kissed it, ever the gentleman, before parting. “I know,” he spoke wistfully and released her as if it hurt to do so. 

“I wish you all the best, Bonnie Bennett,” he stood straighter. “And no matter what, you can always find a friend in me.” 

Her face felt tight, feeling saddened for him. Feeling horrible for him. Not wanting him to be hurting, but that’s what she was doing to him, wasn’t she? She’s said it before, but Enzo really was too good for her. Too good of a person. Too understanding. He was compassionate and kind and she loved him for it. She just wished that love was enough in the past to keep her heart from drifting to someone she really shouldn’t have. Someone that was out of bounds. But like Matt had said, love was tricky. 

Moving forward, she wrapped her arms around him. The material of her coat rustling between them, she hugged his torso with her eyes shut tight. He didn’t hesitate to hold her. If anything, she felt the moment he sighed and heard the jump in his dead heart. 

“Thank you, Enzo. For everything. You’ve done more for me than you know and I just...I just hope you find someone that you deserve. Someone that’ll hold you tight and never let go,” she expressed. “I want you to know that I’ll be here for you too. We both will.” 

She pulled away then and met his eyes that looked glossy and she could do nothing but send him a sad, yet hopeful smile. He returned it and stepped away. 

Grabbing the blood bag from the table, he gestured to the door. “I better head off. Was only passing through anyway. Tell that idiot in there I’m off and I’ll...I’ll see you around.” 

He stood there, his brown eyes looking deep and thoughtful as they roamed every inch of her face before mere seconds later he was gone, his vampire speed taking him away as if he was never there. Bonnie released a shaky breath. Taking a moment, she made way for the kitchen, finding Damon glancing outside the window. He turned upon her entrances and smiled softly. 

Bonnie approached him and his arms were already waiting for her to fall into. 

\- 

Christmas was usually a group affair where not for the first time something would disturb the peace, but this year was different. Matt and Natalie were spending their holidays with her parents in another state, likewise Jeremy and his girlfriend Ana. Caroline and Stefan were having their get together with the girls at Ric's and she had wanted, no, insisted Bonnie be there. However, Bonnie, for some reason, felt like it was a family thing she’d be imposing on. 

“Don’t be stupid. You’re aunt Bonnie. You’re family,” she argued. “Please, come. The girls haven’t seen you in a while and they were looking forward to you teaching them a new spell.” 

Bonnie’s mouth lifted, yet she couldn’t help but trail to, “Elena. Isn’t she going to be there? I don’t want to make things awkward.” 

“Then lucky for you, she’s spending it with one of her pre med friends. Remy, I think her name was,” Caroline revealed. “Bonnie, I really don’t want you to be alone. And even if you have Damon,” she quickly added as if knowing that was exactly where her line of thought was going when Damon had expressively stated that he would be spending Christmas with her wherever she was. “You still have people around that wants you here. I want you here. Please? C'mon, Bonnie. For me? I’ll even let you make the eggnog,” she offered and Bonnie shook her head in good nature. 

With a defeated sigh because Caroline always managed to get what she wanted, Bonnie rolled her eyes playfully to say, “Fine. We’ll be there.” 

“Yes!” Caroline laughed and it brought Bonnie back to simpler times. “Perfect. So I’ll send to the list of what to bring and the activities for the day. Alright, love you,” and then she was gone. 

She dumped her phone on the nearby sofa and sighed. 

“Did you really think she’d let you get out of that one?” Damon chuckled when putting up the last of the Christmas lights to the wall she couldn’t reach. Walking back to stand beside her, his eyes were just as scrutinising as Caroline's when determining if his set up was even. 

“It was worth the shot,” she shrugged. Glancing up, she smiled, “Looks like you’re my date.” 

Grinning back, he replied, “Wouldn’t have it any other way,” and kissed the top of her head. 

\- 

The sound of Josie and Lizzie's laughter rang with excitement when Bonnie taught them a spell that didn’t confined the snowfall to only be permitted outside as little white specs covered their hair. But to make it easier for Caroline, Bonnie heavily encouraged them to stick to having feathers float instead. 

“Uncle Damon, look at this!” Lizzie called to catch his attention from his conversation with Ric and Stefan. Once his eyes were on her, Lizzie conjured a ball of fire into her hands that instantly had Ric and Caroline rush forward, clearly still on edge from the last time their little girl had played too freely with a flame and accidently set the curtains alight. 

Damon, being the bad influence that he was, just laughed and said, “Is that all you got, Liz? Even I can make bigger flames than that with a lighter.” 

“Damon!,” Ric hissed, annoyed, just as Lizzie stubbornly spoke, “Oh yeah? Watch this.” 

The moment the flame got bigger, way too close to the decorative Christmas tree Caroline and Denise had put much effort in, Bonnie snuffed out the dancing ball of light and Caroline sighed gratefully. 

Bonnie turned to Damon, seeing him stand and making his way over to her with a mischievous glint. “Maybe you can show me tomorrow, Liz,” he spoke to the young blonde while her sister, Josie, giggled in the corner and dragged her sister away. “Now,” he spoke, his hands landing on Bonnie's hips. “Would you like to take a walk with me?” 

Bonnie tilted her head questioningly, but all he did was smile. Nodding, his hand slipped into hers and pulled her out of the room and into the main foyer where their coats hung. Shrugged on and ready, Damon led her out into the chilly night with specs of snow falling, yet not enough to settle to the ground. Hand in hand, they strolled around Ric’s neighbourhood, taking in the site of the decorated lawns and lights upon the houses, making the whole area festive. 

“Why are we out here?” she wondered. 

He faced her with his expression relaxed. “I just wanted a moment with my girlfriend alone. Is that too much to ask?” 

Her heart skipped and she almost stopped dead in her tracks. “Girlfriend?” she repeated. And just to insert some humour to distract her from her racing mind, she added, “I don’t remember you asking,” teasingly. 

His hold tightened on her as they turned into a nearby park and strolled down the path. “Who do you think you were to me? Because I can tell you now, Bon Bon, just being besties is not on the table. I’m under your skin. You can get rid of me.” 

“Trust me, I know. I’ve tried,” she agreed and he laughed aloud, eyes bright with mirth and reflecting the light on the path. A path now leading to pretty wooden gazebo with the soft glow of dangling fairy lights peppered around. “Damon?” she called nervously. 

“I set this up earlier,” he announced. “I was praying some other jack asses wouldn’t come by and take advantage for my hard work. Its fucking cold and my fingers almost froze off for it to be for nothing.” 

She couldn’t help but chuckle at his complaint, as being utterly human was something he was still becoming accustomed to. As he led her up the three steps and they stood in the middle, Bonnie turned to him, face lit up as she took in his handsome features. 

“This is beautiful, Damon.” 

“You’re beautiful,” was his reply. 

Though his comment was cliché, it still warmed her and she had to look away because his stare was so focused. It was his fingers lifting her chin that that her meet his eyes again and she felt lost. So blue. So gravitating. Damon was pulling her in with a mere look and she could do nothing to stop it. She wouldn’t dare to stop it. Not when his face was gentle and thoughtful and pretty eyes searching her with a softness she only imagined. 

“You were right. I didn’t ask you,” he suddenly admitted. “So, Bonnie Bennett. My best friend. My little witch,” he named. “I know what we have is new. I know I’ve been a fool in figuring all this out, but I’m more than willing to make up for lost time. And on this romantic Christmas night,” he smirked then, “I was wondering if you would be my girlfriend?” 

She was grinning far too much, but fuck it, she didn’t care. She was elated, ecstatic. So damn happy that all she could breathe out was, “Yes,” when taking a step forward. And despite his easy going presentation, she saw him sigh and smiled at her brightly as he too, stepped closer. 

They were gazing into each others eyes and Damon lifted a hand to push a curl from her face in a gentle motion. She swallowed thickly, waiting in anticipating as their faces got closer and all she could think about was kissing him again. Because despite them acknowledging each other as something more before, they hadn’t shared a kiss since the Falls. 

It annoyed her, to say the least. Frustrated her. Damon was a touchy-feely guy. He also wasn’t one to be shy when it came to intimacy and has even spoke of how much he wanted to experience it with her in choice words that left her ears ringing and suddenly needing to pardon herself. He's explicitly expressed to wanting to kiss her lips a multitude of times, yet he hasn’t and it left her confused. He'd kiss her cheek, forehead, neck and shoulder. Fluttering his mouth across her skin that had her craving more, but just not in the one place she desired most. And there would be times, like this, where they’d be impossibly close and she could see his eyes dilate with want. See how they’d drop to her mouth, but he never closed the gap between them. Never made the first move. 

It was almost as if he... 

Bonnie suddenly wanted to hit herself for her stupidity and his way of thinking. That all this time it had been an invitation and all Bonnie needed to do was take it. Finally, make the move she’s desperately wanted with no regret and be selfish for once in her life and just claim what she wanted. And in that moment with him, surrounded by twinkling lights, Bonnie watched as he bit his lip, eyes looking as if he was struggling internally to commit to his own rule when the hand he now laid at the back of her neck was encouraging her forward. 

Blood rushing in her ears, Bonnie took the final step and kissed him. 

Her heart spattered violently as their mouths slanted against one another. Moving together until his tongue made its ways past her lips and kissed her like she’s never been kissed before. And in his defence, Damon’s kiss was something completely different from anyone else. It wasn’t just demanding, but sensual in a way that had her toes curl and kept her hooked, wanting more as their tongue clashed. She felt like she was being moulded by him to fit him perfectly and she wouldn't be lying to herself when she said that kissing Damon felt like a masterpiece. Felt almost too good, it was dizzying in a drunken way that had her inhaling him deeply. 

Bonnie had been so caught up that she hadn’t noticed their feet moving. That she was guiding them back as if she had a clue where she was going. But Damon’s back rested against a beam with a jerk and he chuckle, his beautiful laugh slipping into her mouth as she flattens herself to him. Arms snaked around his neck, she raked her fingers through his thick, silky hair; unable to stop herself gripping it tightly that caused him to moan, the sound vibrating her lips. She had missed the sound. Missed having him like this after the one time of experiencing it, you would have thought she had turned into an addict. 

Arms encircling her, Damon held her tight as their mouths didn’t let up; briefly releasing quick breaths before instantly finding each other again, both ravaging the others mouths with a hunger that felt specifically primal. Chest burning, Bonnie pulled back an inch and Damon chased her mouth with need that had him catch her bottom lip between his teeth and sucked that had a dominating sensation to flood her body and only continued when his tongue was back into her mouth, swirling and tasting like he'd never left.

Fuck, she thought, wishing they could be somewhere else. Anywhere else that would allow her to have him in the way she craved.

She pulled back again, breathing harder than she'd ever done as their breaths mingled when both inhaling much needed air. Chest heaving, Damon’s closed eyes opened and grinned widely. 

“Took you long enough,” his voice came out shaky. “You don’t know how hard it’s been to not kiss you like that.” 

“You should have said something,” she tried to scold, but her mind was too preoccupied to put any heat behind it. 

He shook his head, arms keeping her close. “I wanted you to do it on your own terms. I wanted you to kiss me first,” he spoke, face near and lips brushing. 

The air around was cold, but Damon had her body numb to it. Numb to anything but him and she was suddenly glad she hadn’t kissed him when her emotions had been in turmoil, because his mouth was too good to forget. Too distracting to not think about when near him. And now without any consequence, she could reach up and keep him close and no one could say a God damn thing when he was- 

“I love you.” 

Bonnie blinked, the words echoing in her ear over and over. It had been something he’d said before, but all those times held a meaning of friendship. And then while at the Falls he had insinuated it in a form that it meant more. In a way how she felt for him. Yet hearing it with them entangled and mouths a breath away had her head sway. 

His lips came down on hers for a moment and pulled back. “Did you hear me?” he questioned, amusement there and then his entire face become serious as he gazed down at her with an intensity that kept her firmly rooted. “I’m in love you, Bonnie.” 

If she felt good before, then this moment was a type of euphoria she hadn’t experienced as her chest felt as if it was on the verge of bursting while her stomach fluttered violently and her whole mind was going into overdrive because she was surly crashing, right?. 

She moved her face closer, eyes focused on his mouth as she ordered, “Say it again,” and her voice sounded lower, darker, more sultry even to her own ears. 

“I’m in love with you,” she watched his mouth wrap around each and every word, unable to help her hand gliding down the exposed skin of his neck, all the way down his chest, settling over his strong beating human heart. 

“Again,” she demanded, this time meeting his eyes as if she'd catch the lie. Instead, as he spoke them again, all the saw was truth and want and need and love and Bonnie knew she was finished. Officially ruined for other men because Damon Salvatore was in love with her. Her best friend. The man she had pined for pitifully for far too long. A man she had thought would never see her past friendship, yet here he was doing just that. 

Smiling wide, her “I love you,” escaped her with an ease she’s never felt without all the dread and self doubt and every thought bombarding her that said she shouldn’t. 

She saw his eyes dilate. Felt the heavy rise and fall of his chest beneath her palm. Damon grinned handsomely and leaned his head against hers. The warmth of his breath was fanning her lips and the sensation had her shiver. Trialling a hand back up him and settling it behind his neck, she traced delicate patterns across his skin; her indecisive gaze bouncing between his pretty blue eyes and his freshly kissed pink lips. 

“God, you’re beautiful,” he spoke between them and she couldn’t help the heat that rose. He held her tighter, if possible and their lips brushed with a easy tilt of the head. Her fingers combed the base of his hair and gripped. He groaned, eyes now hooded and Bonnie tucked in her bottom lip because that was a sound she could get used to. “You’re going to be the death of me, Bon Bon.” 

Distractedly, she replied, “Try not to die. I just got you.” 

His chest rumbled with a chuckle. “And you’ll have me for as long as you want." His words seemed faded when he consumed her once more and her eyes closed in bliss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then Elena came out of nowhere, crashing the intimate moment like a nail to a chalkboard. Bonnie and Damon watched her approach. Saw the devastation clear in her eyes displaying her heartbreak that was written in a thousand words as she looked between them. "I'm pregnant," her words crossed the space and just like that, Bonnie's face dropped while feeling Damon tense.  
> She should have known that things weren't going to be so easy after all.  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> Hahaha, just messing with you. Lol, could you imagine if that was the ending? The twist! The audacity! Nah, Bamon gets a happy ending.
> 
> So, that's all, folks. If you've made it this far, thank you so freaking much for continuing to read this story! For even giving it a chance. I've read so many amazing Bamon fics and they've inspired me to write my own. Heck, to post my own and I've got to admit that the reception has been more than I could ask for. Your kudos. Your comments, I appreciate every single one, you have no idea! So thank you.  
> I'd love to hear what you guys thought overall. What you liked, what you didn't. What you would have taken out or even put in. How would have you ended it, because writing endings is lowkey kinda hard lol. 
> 
> Thanks again!  
> K.


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